Poetry Blog by Shehariah

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Shehariah on Vacant (53 minutes ago)

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Shehariah on Vacant (15 hours ago)

Shehariah on Vacant (15 hours ago)

Vacant

As surely as I stand before you

I am also quite vacant. 

I feel so empty inside,

like a man whose entrails

have spilled to the floor.  

Where there was a once beating heart

there is now only a hole. 

Where once there were lungs 

to breathe the air of freedom,

now there are only cavities. 

Breath is stolen away. 

Life has long since ebbed from me.  

My body is hu...

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You Win

I surrender my arms.  
I’m tired of fighting you. 
You’ll always have the higher ground.  
I am powerless, insignificant,
against your superiority.  
You always win. 
You’ve always won. 
I have no defense. 
I have no hope
for coming out of this alive.  

Every time
I come crawling back
on my knees to let you in. 
Every time
you kick me when I’m down. 
You’d think in time
that I’d ...

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Am I Enough?

I’m afraid that I am not enough,

inadequate, lacking, measured and left wanting.  

The scales upon which I have stood

are not weighted in my favor,

but are tipped toward insufficiency.

And what if these things are true?

What does that make of me?

Where then is my worth,

and what is my valuation,

if not in what I am able to provide?

What of my life, wasted and squander...

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Son

I can not comprehend you. 

Like an insect contemplating the vastness

of time and space,

or a speck of dust the calculations of thought,

I am so small, and my mind so chronically finite,

that I can’t begin to fathom the substance

of your being 

or the framework of your mind.  

How could I seek you out

and where is it that you make your abode?

If I call up to the heaven...

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Blind

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Blind

 

Seeing yet unseeing,

I have passed through this world

as a blind man -

so sure of my way,

yet so clumsy of foot.

Do not take me by the hand.

I do not need your help.

I am led along

by the whisperings in my head.

Not knowing that the path before me

would lead only to my destruction,

I trudged on.

And on and on and on.

Do not tell me the way to go...

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Near Misses and Fatal Mistakes

I’m behind the wheel again

and the brakes have gone out.

I have no control of this life I’m living.

With the wheel in my hand

I can but hope for the best

as I’m pumping the pedal 

hoping for a miracle. 

Get out of the way!

Can’t you see what’s happening?

Panic stricken and wild eyed

I search for a way out,

for any place of safety,

but there are no vacancies. 

...

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A Call to Disarm

When your words like spears pierce my side

and your knife finds the chinks in my armor,

what of this blood that spills to the floor?

Does it matter not to you?

I know that your heart beats within your chest,

and it feels, but does it feel the pain rendered to mine?

Do you notice the paler look in my eyes

and the gasping of my breath?

But today I will not fight you.

I wil...

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In This Moment

Brief, passing, unnoticed

are all the moments

in all my days.

Do I pause in observation?

Do I see the value

in each and every opportunity,

the hidden potential

within each passing second?

Or do I squander them

on selfish pursuit

and meaningless activity?

If each moment was gold

would I store them safely away?

More often than not

I have cast them away

li...

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The God Realm

When I am God the world is bleak. 

My divinity spent on destruction and decay. 

When I am God the world is small. 

I am the center of gravitational pull. 

When I am God watch out for my vengeance.  

 

Sitting high on a throne

built of refuse and broken things

I survey my universe with disdain

and cast down such decrees

that all are guilty,

and I am the king of guil...

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We Are the Archers

With our bows drawn back

and our eyes unblinking,

we stand before the darkness,

our torches lighting up the night.

Every one of us bears scars of the past.

Our wills were broken,

our hearts torn out.

We faced down death

and didn’t come out alive.

We drank the dregs of sorrow

and have known

the bitterness of defeat.

But today we stand unflinching,

our gazes lo...

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The Hell Realm

With sweet and empty promises
I was drawn into your torments. 
The carrot dangled perpetually before my face
and I ran, and I ran, and I ran to catch it,
not knowing that with every step I took
I was heading deeper and deeper
into your black mouth
to sink into your belly, 
as you devoured me whole.  
How willingly I was consumed,
and with great abandon 
did I cast myself headlong into y...

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In the Realm of the Hungry Ghosts

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I’m always consuming, but it’s never enough

to fill my ever-empty belly.

And there is scarce enough to quaff

to quench this insatiable thirst.

I have lived too long on breadcrumbs

and stagnant water,

so long that I have forgotten the taste

of finer foods and refreshing drink.

I am driven by my belly,

always growling, always unsatisfied,

and not in the least quelled or...

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Drowning Pt. 2

I can’t breathe. 
All this weight
is crushing my chest. 
My arms are bound.
My face is under water. 
My lungs are burning. 
My mind is racing. 
The panic sets in
and I want to scream,
but my mouth is gagged
and my nose pinched shut.
I’m all alone
here in this darkness. 
My time is running short. 
I can feel consciousness
slipping away. 
I fight to stay alive
but my effort’s in vai...

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What’s Past is Prologue

You ate away at my insides like a cancer
devouring my joy and laughter. 
This ulcerous hole in my gut, your home. 
My regrets were never far from your lips
as you whispered them in my ears,
barely audible, but felt.  
I cannot change what I have done,
cannot undo what is past,
but the weight of it,
and the weight of your words
brought my soul down to the pit. 
How many times 
have you ...

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I Am With You

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Your footsteps have taken you further

than you ever wanted to go.

So far away from where you called home.

You traveled through the darkest of nights

fumbling and crawling in fear.

You walked under the shadow of death

certain that you would never again see the light of day.

You ran, and you ran, and you ran,

but could never seem to run fast enough

to escape everything tha...

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Flatline

If I don’t wake up, let me sleep.

If I never wake again. let me slumber.

So lay this body to rest

and put me in the ground,

because death is the only comfort I’ve known.

If tonight I breathe my last,

let me be remembered not for who I was

but for all I could have been.

And if the reaper comes to take me away,

I will put up no fight.

I will go willingly.

If this bro...

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Fallow Ground

Life weighs heavy on me like the gravity of a dying star,

its hand burdensome upon my soul, crushing.

What relief is there from this constant pressing?

What escape from the excessive demand of my wit and my will?

I am weary beneath this yoke.

How brief is my respite from this striving,

and long are the days that exhaust my ambition.

How driven are the oxen as they plow

and ...

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Darkness, Farewell

This is me saying goodbye.

Though we have been close, I will not miss you.

Though you have been my faithful and constant companion,

I will not look back one last time

to look upon your face for remembrance.

The scars inflicted upon my soul are remembrance enough.

You were once a dear friend to me.

I gave you my all, and you took it all.

You convinced me that I needed you,

...

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Dark Comforter

Oh, Dark Comforter,

I’ve come home to you again

to be held once more in your embrace.

And with what pity you hold me

as you whisper in my ear

the shameful things that keep me close

and coming back to you.

You have been my closest friend,

blanketing me with your love,

so heavy, so familiar.

And as I lay weeping there in your arms

you swallow my tears,

and give me...

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Casualties of War

I can feel the gnawing in my gut again,

that anxious roiling that keeps me awake. 

Knots and tangles like snakes,

slithering in the pit of my belly,

consume my attention and steal my thoughts. 

What peace is there in this roiling?

What comfort is there in such conflict?

My sleep is stolen away

and my eyes find no rest. 

My soul aches in turmoil. 

 

Oh, this banging...

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Beyond the Horizon

Weary, worn, and listless my soul carries through each day

like a waif searching for a place to rest.

Melancholy wraps about me like a warm jacket

keeping the cold at bay,

and indifference covers my head like a shroud.

I see the bodies bustling all around me

and I hear the shuffling of their feet,

but to them I am a ghost passing through their world,

unnoticed, unimportant,...

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Aftermath

The storm clouds have passed over

and the wreckage is strewn about

the now calmer sea

like so much flotsam and jetsam. 

So are the remains of yesterday

and what could have been, 

now debris littering the shoreline

in the wake of a tempest, 

now gone and forgotten by the world,

but not by the ship and its captain.  

Gone is the hull and torn are the sails. 

Broken a...

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Addiction

What madness, what madness, what madness 

Has befallen me

once I opened my mouth to drink you in. 

My sanity like an avalanche has come crashing

down the mountainside

leaving such brokenness in its wake. 

And I, crippled by your ways,

am left behind to clean up the shattered pieces. 

You embraced me so tightly

with unfeeling and uncaring arms,

promising to keep me clo...

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Oh, Little One

Today I feel a stranger in my own skin. 

Plunged backward into an old, familiar feeling. 

Trapped inside my body, I’m not in control. 

This nightmare has returned home again 

to the comfort of the darker places of my mind,  

where a shroud hangs over my eyes

and my heart is drowned in sticky blackness. 

Today I do not know where I’ve gone. 

Retreated to the recesses of that...

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Drowning Pt. 1

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I’m floating on the surface of the sea.

The waves and winds they carry me

further from the shore of my security. 

Out here drifting on my own

not knowing where the tides will take me,

I’m finding peace in the overwhelming fear.  

What of the unknown?

It’s not my place to find it out,

to turn my mind inside out with anxiety

over what I am unable to control. 

 

Drift...

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