you're like an untamable lioness

but you're learning to purr

such a fierce and ferocious and fighting heart

hidden in such tiny framework

you move with such delicate grace

but also with such deadly swiftness

oh, how many times I have died

laying in your naked bosom 

and by your knife in my side much more

Oh, such sweet and painful death

I will bear these scars fo...

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I find no respite here

for my broken and weary soul  

from this dark madness 

that stays always with me

just below the surface,

always churning like an unseen current

threatening to take me under. 

My resistance to the constant tug is wavering

as my strength wanes

from all this fighting

against what I am unable to escape. 

The undercurrent has always been stronger

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my voice echoes back to me

bouncing off the ceiling

and back into my ears,

"you are alone in this".

my heart is broken.

no love is getting through.

it struggles to beat 

against the callouses

covering its surface.

so far removed 

from the presence that sustains.

I am withered and worn,

malnourished and atrophied.

You ask me to stay in the fire

ju...

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resistance pushes against

the man I'm supposed to be

and my eyes are locked 

on the brokenness inside;

but in truth I am a blind man,

narcissistic and vain.

I am shipwrecked

and tossed about

by the waves at sea.

there is no land in sight.

I am rebellious against

the one who speaks peace to the storm

and struggle against

the power of the ocean

as if I suppo...

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the foundation has crumbled

and the pieces lay all around me

of what was once my home.

the repairs were insufficient

though my hands are skilled in their craft.

not enough will always be not enough.

now I sit amidst the wreckage

and among all these broken pieces

that for so long I have tried to salvage,

piecing myself back together

as best as I could

whil...

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Hide your face from me

and I will hide my face from you.

Keep your distance from me

as I sanitize my world.

Do not touch me.

Do not seek my embrace

for you will not know it.

I will wash my hands of the humanity around me

as you sanitize your own world too.

Distance begets distance.

Isolation opens the door to darkness.

Yet still we move in this place

of vul...

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this is what it takes for me
to feel normal
though it's a pale and darkened reflection
of who I'm meant to be
this is what it takes for me
to feel numb to the chaos

oh, this battle inside my head
that rages on and on and on
wave upon wave upon wave
the onslaught continues
I wield the knife
I raise the blade to my throat
my steady hand makes the cut
but still there is no peace
and s...

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I find no respite here

for my broken and weary soul  

from this dark madness 

that stays always with me

just below the surface,

always churning like an unseen current

threatening to take me under. 

My resistance to the constant tug is wavering

as my strength wanes

from all this fighting

against what I am unable to escape. 

The undercurrent has always been stronger

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I want to claw out my mind

and my heart the same.

I’m no more than a cadaver.  

I’m dead inside

with living flesh to hide

the tomb within. 

Dead man’s bones

rattle when I speak. 

Please let me close my eyes

and sleep forever

a dreamless sleep. 

I will not awake again

until the nightmare is over.  

But will the nightmare end?

And how will it end?

With my...

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