the foundation has crumbled

and the pieces lay all around me

of what was once my home.

 

the repairs were insufficient

though my hands are skilled in their craft.

not enough will always be not enough.

 

now I sit amidst the wreckage

and among all these broken pieces

that for so long I have tried to salvage,

piecing myself back together

as best as I could

while holding on to the framework

of my safety and security.

 

not enough will always be not enough.

 

all the cogs and gears inside

with broken teeth and missing parts

don't turn in tune any more.

 

the stitching that held my skin on my bones

is unraveled and frayed

and the life inside is seeping out

faster than I am able to pour it back in.

 

splintered and fractured are the timbers

that once held up my walls.

the dust and debris cover the floors.

photographs in their fragmented frames

lay scattered about as forgotten memories.

 

oh, what destruction has befallen me.

 

the tick, tick, ticking of my heart

slowly winds down.

the key is broken that rewinds it.

my fingers are bloody

from turning the crank.

 

not enough will always be not enough.

 

the sand blows across my face.

the cracks below my feet reveal the fault lines

upon which this house was built.

 

the storms raged all around me

relentless in their endeavors

to bring it all down around me,

and here I am

in the wake of their boasting.

 

the grit in my grinding teeth

reminds me constantly

of my failures and my calamity.

I cannot spit it out

without my tongue licking it up again

to remind me of my defeat.

 

my own strength built this box,

and my own strength held it together for a time,

but that time has long since passed.

scraps upon scraps

and fragments upon fragments

are all that remain.

 

who will rebuild me,

who will raise up these ruins,

when not enough is always not enough?