Telly Tennis

Telly Tennis

 

(Australian Open.  Relaxing in airconditioned comfort.  Beer in hand)

 

Sitting watching telly

Tennis on the screen

See a lot of close-up shots

More if there I'd been

 

Cheaper too,,,,,,

 

Don Matthews January 2020

 

https://youtu.be/8grJuYkhaSY

 

 

 

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Privacy Invasion

Privacy Invasion

 

A man in a marriage relationship

Was having an affair on the side

Emailing the lady on his Iphone

Taking his wife for a ride

 

By accident one day he forgot it

His wife accessed phone (made a raid)

Her husband was furious, giving reason

His privacy she had dared to invade

 

Don Matthews April 2019

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Maybe I'm Crazy, Maybe I'm Not

Maybe I'm Crazy, Maybe I'm Not

 

Maybe I'm crazy

Maybe I'm not

Maybe I'm writing

Just silly old twat

 

Talk about confusing

For twat we say twot

Queen's English? damn silly

Methinks tommy rot

 

How can a poor poet

Like me write good verse

With tommy rot English

To rhyme, to converse?

 

I'm trying real hard

Poetizing (not lazy)

But damn Queen...

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How I'm Dealing With Terminal Cancer

How I'm Dealing With Terminal Cancer

(This is not about me but about a lawyer in my hometown)

 

I'm diagnosed with cancer

No chance, I'm doomed to die

I have two choices facing me

You ask which two? And why?

 

If all I think is 'bout this day

This ugly day I end

'Twill ruin every day between

Between my now and then

 

Don Matthews January 2020

 

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LMS Rollercoaster Toenail-Paint Back-to-Work Celebration

LMS Rollercoaster Toenail-Paint Back-to-Work Celebration

 

Our Rollercoaster's been through

Smoke and lots of fire

Our Leader watched out two four seven

Did not for sleep retire

 

(He is a good Leader....)

 

To celebrate it's back-to-work

A Toenail-Paint is planned

Riders will jump in feet first

No colour WOL has banned

 

(WOL Board has been notified

bu...

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LMS

Halt

Halt

 

Japan's train system suddenly came to a halt

With the cancelling of twenty-six trains

Caused by a slug in an electrical box

Which said slug will not do again

 

He was electrocuted.....

 

Don Matthews June 2019

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First Feet

First Feet

(First seen in the Like-Minders Society Theme Park)

 

If you like my humour

And think I'm worth a read

Hop in with your feet first

You are a dying breed

 

If you're into doom and gloom

Don't think I'm worth a read

Go ahead I do not care

Procreate your breed

 

OK my humour can be

Strange, sometimes offbeat

But if you think I'm worth a read

...

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Terry

Terry

 

Dementia is a cruel thing

It took a humour 'friend'

Who brought much fun and laughter

What a cruel end......

 

If you are born with humour genes

Don't waste them while you're here

Spread your fun and laughter round

Let's all have a beer

 

Terry Jones

Co-founder Monty Python

RIP

21/1/20

 

Don Matthews January 2020

 

https://youtu.be/h...

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Awakening Hotel

Awakening Hotel

 

Awakening's a you beaut hotel

Built in the jungle (Mexico)

Helping you synchronise with surroundings

And hence universe (there ya go)

 

On arriving, to a room they don't show you

Instead to a cocoon in a tree

Accessed by a you beaut rope ladder

Designed around mind symmetry

 

(The above phrases and following is taken from their promotion materi...

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The Much Abused Apostrophe Mark

The Much Abused Apostrophe Mark

 

(John Richardson was a former news copywriter, often correcting the use of apostrophes)

 

 

As founder of Society

Like-Minders (patent 'plied)

With sadness I've just read about

One which has just died

 

Apostrophe Protection

Society was formed

By 96 John Richardson

(Two thousand one, it dawned)

 

John and his group have...

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Do Not Worry. All Is Well

Do Not Worry. All Is Well

 

I have had to close the Like-Minders Theme Park during the recent extreme fire risk period.

 

Imagine the insurance paperwork if it burnt down....

 

What? ….You don't insure imaginary Theme Parks?

 

What sort of mickey mouse company are you?

 

You insure Liberace's fingers but not my vivid imagination and creative mind?

 

The line's g...

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LMS

We Seem to Have Lost the Idea of Moderation

We Seem to Have Lost the Idea of Moderation

 

(Adapted from a newspaper article on the recent suicide of Australian Gavin Wilson amid protests at drag queens reading stories to kids)

 

 

Our responses to issues

Need to be fast and emphatic

The time to make considered decisions

Sacrificed for the sake of speed and severity

 

We are pushed to the limit

In this era of...

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Depends on Cost They Say

Depends on Cost They Say

 

(New Year's eve)

 

Here in quiet Adelaide

Spent rockets fell to ground

Set alight surrounding grass

Tinder-dry and brown

 

People they are furious

Stupid thing to do

At such a hot dry time of year

What different can we do?

 

Suggestion to the council is

Replace with light display

So people still can ooh and aah
(Depends on...

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I'm a Protester Yay!

I'm a Protester Yay!

 

 

I'm a protester yay! I'm a protester

What about? I dunno, yippee yay!

I've locked myself up to the Parliament gates

Then I done went and threw 'way the key

 

Yippee!

 

I'm protesting yay! I'm a protester

I've locked myself up yay yippee!

Oh no!, I got problem here officer

I need to unlock, go for pee

 

(Can't see key anywhere lu...

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Re-Reading My Poems

Re-Reading My Poems


 

I've just read something that I wrote

A year-a-half ago

It teared the same reaction

I wondered, why this so?


 

This surely is the purpose

Of writing poetry

To draw emotions each time read

(At least it works for me)


 

Don Matthews September 2019

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Found In a Poet's Wastebasket

Found In a Poet's Wastebasket

 

You are the bestest President

That's ever come along

Twittering's all the rage it is

You never do no wrong

 

Your wifey sweet Melania

Might have nice tits and bot

But as for world opinions

She knows just diddly squat

 

I like your comments 'bout my

Melania's bot and tits

I dream about them every day

When on my throne I si...

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Climate Change, Anxious 10yr-olds and Psychiatrists

Climate Change, Anxious 10yr-olds and Psychiatrists

 

10yr-olds are presenting to psychiatrists

anxious over the fate of the world

and their future

 

When the brain is not fully developed

there is a tendency to catastrophise

 

Psychiatrists call it 'emotional reasoning'

where feelings are confused with fact

 

They are led to believe the world

is coming to an ...

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Thought I Wouldn't Notice?

Thought I Wouldn't Notice?

(Just because I live on the other side of the planet  Ruth/Po/Do you think your hijinx don't reach me?.....)

 

Why has there been no WOL Brits

Posting on my screen

What I've seen in paper

Just in paper seen?

 

Many Brits, bare, pantless!

Left them all at home

Much fodder for my neurons

Fodder for my pome

 

Let's focus on the pic att...

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Rules

Rules

 

I went to university

Questioned all the rules

Wondered why some followed them

Looking like such fools

 

Follow rules by all means

Those which do make sense

Don't follow blindly all the sheep

Cos many just plain dense

 

Question question question

I was taught to ask

You must believe the Bible son

To question's not your task

 

Don Matthews J...

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The Bipolar/Creativity Connection

The Bipolar/Creativity Connection

(First presented in the Like-Minders Theme Park Rollercoaster Stop 'Mental Health Centre')

 

They say a link seems to exist

'Tween bipolar and creativity

And so as I ponder what rhyme next to conjure

I'm wondering if this affects me

 

The painter Van Gough was bipolar

And Virginia Woolf was as well

Did you know Stephen Fry is bipolar?

...

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Brexit Re-Mint

Brexit Re-Mint

 

We've had to do a re-mint

Of new 50p coins

We got the Brexit date wrong

Of our EU un-join

 

Old mint 31 Oct – new mint now 31 Jan

Queen thought not good image otherwise.

People will think Brits don't know what they're doing

 

The Queen has ruled let's do it

Let's show the world we know

Precisely what we're doing here

Britannia here we go

...

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Bushfires, Handshakes and Cameras

Bushfires, Handshakes and Cameras

 

(Our Prime Minister was away holidaying in Hawaii during the bushfires. On returning he went and talked to people, offering handshakes and condolences while being followed around by a camera crew. It did not go down well as shown in the videos.)

 

 

Your town is on fire

Your home has burnt down

Along with their cameras

Politicians come ro...

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My Name is Don (A Poet)

My Name is Don (A Poet)

 

My name is Don (a poet)

Write mainly for myself

Pulling bits and pieces from

My rhyming word-bank shelf

 

My name is Don (a person)

Born differently to rest

Brain chemicals not in balance

Neurons left quite messed

 

My name is Don (a complex)

Person trying to

Sort out my psychology

As one mixed up would do

 

My name is Do...

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South Australian Bushfire Crisis

South Australian Bushfire Crisis

 

Today has been labelled catastrophic

Fire danger on the scale to its max

Winds and a 40 degree temperature

Everyone alert, no-one lax

 

What causes these fires to begin with?

Dry-lightening strikes are their cause 1

Some accidents cause sparks, (also start them)

And arsonists who light fires just for fun

 

Today catastrophic ca...

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Boris's Top Adviser Dominic Called Me

Boris's Top Adviser Dominic Called Me

Read in today's paper Dominic is advising Boris to search for weirdos, oddballs with new skills

 

I got a call from Domi

Adviser (top) to Bori

Wanting weirdos, misfits cos

They're filled with dread, 'n' worry

 

Seems they're wanting new

Oddballs with odd skills

Heard about my LMS

Thought I'd fit their bill

 

He said “Don,...

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Why are Easter Buns in the Shops the Day After Christmas?

Why are Easter Buns in the Shops the Day After Christmas?

 

Shop, shop, shop, shop

Buy with cash you haven't got

Swipe your plastic credit card

Easy hey? That wasn't hard?

 

Christmas Day passed yesterday

What's this in shops I now do see?

Hot Cross Easter buns on sale?

Gosh this makes me shitty be

 

 

I asked the sales assistant, where are your Easter eggs?....

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Kidney

Kidney

 

We all like entertainment

On WOL, what we all see

I mainly post my stuff on screen

To entertain just me

 

I am it's sole creator

It comes out of my head

(And not from out my kidney)

When all is done and said

 

You might think my stuff's drivel

I don't care if you do

I like to see it up on screen

Choogaloogaloo

 

But hey? How many WOLers

...

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Striking a Balance With Fireworks

Striking a Balance With Fireworks

 

Did you greet New Year with fireworks?

Did you go 'ooh' and go 'sigh'?

For just a few minutes of pleasure

Millions of cash went sky high

 

We have so many poor homeless people

And our health, transport system needs cash

Is it not time that we looked at and sorted

What's important, and stop wasting cash ?

 

But my ask, readers,...

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