My mistress's breasts I shall not praise,

in ways which take two centuries.

They are not pure nor white as snow,

their nipples are now dangling low.

I won't compare them to luscious peaches,

with skin so soft and free from creases.


After the party, your deflated balloons

have more in common than the years' full moons

with these once magnificent rising orbs.


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Grandpa's plot

Grandpa in his weather-worn woolly
worked religiously along the pews.
The penitent peas pushed into place
amidst the soul-saved smell of soil.
He patiently ploughed the errant earth;
dispersed his peace between the rows
and within the still, worshipful silence
only the good were allowed to grow.
That sacred sanctuary stayed undisturbed
but for pardoned pilgrims; the common bir...

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I hope you didn't see me leave,

and that you're not aware I've gone.

I hope I meant much less to you

than your presence meant to me.

Your pseudo intellectual rants

were scathing, shallow and flawed.

With feeling and enthusiasm

I tried to feed your thoughts,

but your responses made me a fool,

and so I was, to care for you.

Hence your four hundred and seven...

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Just a moment dear

You're only up the stairs,

moved recently from view,

you hear my happy shout,

and yes, I love you too.


Only in our bedroom

putting something right,

frowning in concentration

with sleeves rolled up tight.


Capable hands and forearms,

you're smiling at my call,

whistling through your teeth,

tapping on the wall.


Only in the next room...

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42nd Noel

Every parcel is wrapped by Amazon

and my new best friend is now the postman.

My nephew's a pudding in the Nativity Play

and agnostic inlaws kneel and pray.

Festive drinks all stink of cinnamon

spiced sausages and biscuits pose as German.

Joan while drunk had sex with Gordon;

I leave by taxi at a quarter past ten.

The snow starts to thaw before...

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Song of triumph

When I wake on winter mornings

and the central heating's failed,

I ignore the alarm's warning

until my bladder has prevailed.

Then I take my fur lined slippers

and I don my fleecy jumper,

run to where the air is crisper,

touch the cold seat with a whimper.


When the thermostat is working,

and the outlet pipes have thawed,

another problem must be lurk...

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Self indulgence

I've spent five empty years

where every facial expression

is just a gap between tears.

I wanted the world to remain as it was

and point blank refuse to adjust to my loss.

No sunrises, no beaches, no roses in flower,

no fond recollection of recent fine hours,

just a few not posed for photographs

of what once was and now is past.

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Maybe I won't drink tonight,

won't hold my glass up to the light.

Perhaps the cork will stay intact,

the bottle resting in the rack.

A little tipple does no harm,

bears no grudges, tweaks no alarm.

Just a small swig to help me sleep;

save me from counting endless sheep.

Oh, it's still too soon to go to bed;

Well … only another sip of red.

No point now to ...

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Why I don't write greeting cards

Today's my birthday, I turn and say

to the young man sitting to my side.

He looks at me in some surprise;

words unspoken, speak:

Seriously, at your age you continue to trace

the number of years you've stayed alive?

And I question myself, what it means

to celebrate a day that's just a date

which measures only the distance

from birth to now.

When the future...

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Climber boy

Listen up climber boy, my feeling is this,

This girl ain’t waiting up on no kiss;

She’s hooking those bolts with one thing in mind

And it ain’t the chalk bag on your behind.

Come on climber boy let me see that swing

Cos climbing up walls ain’t my only thing


Smear it up.

Heel hook.

Body Thrust.


Push it up climber man, your arse is mine,

Hit the...

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