Every parcel is wrapped by Amazon
and my new best friend is now the postman.
My nephew's a pudding in the Nativity Play
and agnostic inlaws kneel and pray.
Festive drinks all stink of cinnamon
spiced sausages and biscuits pose as German.
Joan while drunk had sex with Gordon;
I leave by taxi at a quarter past ten.
The snow starts to thaw before Christmas Day
and I'm thankful for the finish of such disarray.