Poetry Blogs (2020, mental illness)
The heart stops,
and fear attacks
tearing and scraping the insides.
Stepping back, it’s not the right time.
It’s too delicate; my hands are tied.
I stall. I ruminate. I do all the things not to destroy this.
I dread that I will, gravely… to the point of not moving.
This is what it’s like when people become a ghost.
It’s too much to go forward.
So, I turn
in the opposite d...
Saturday 26th September 2020 5:26 am
Panic setting in
For reasons unknown everything is unsettling
I wished I could kick my heels and disappear
But, instead, he appears
Through the haze his face is clear
I fight the urge to will him near
Oh God, did he sense my fear
Or my emotions churning and my tears near
How does he do it, what exactly does he hear
Me quietly praying, daring him to care
Friday 4th September 2020 6:18 am
The future unknown yet frightful
A familiar face in the crowd
So warm, inviting and sweet...
Everything makes sense again
Hope is reignited
Fear, is once again
For the time being
( " PSYCOBABBLING" )
Friday 4th September 2020 6:00 am
Am I making an impression...
Do I leave you bewildered with every expression...
Do you look forward like I do to our weekly sessions...
Or are my scribbled musings akin to aggression...
An unbecoming, pathetic vie for attention...
I find you delightful and have a genuine fascination...
I am curiously eager, feelings bordering on intoxication.
But, apparently in therapy t...
Friday 4th September 2020 4:14 am
It’s a walking numbness, a dull pain
that sometimes presents itself in waves.
It slowly builds, and one day, every few weeks it explodes.
I can’t bring myself out of bed.
The rolling tears subside for a moment only to build again and again.
The world outside, and the family inside, doesn’t exist, only what’s happening right here.
Only this pillow, only this blanket, only the thoughts ...
Friday 14th August 2020 1:49 pm
Sage bush smoking sour
Eyes cascading showers
Measuring sober hours
Chewing my cigarettes now
Good coffee, good chow
Pretentious fuck saying thou
Pissing off the bow, drunk
Crawl back in my rack
Afloat but still sunk
Cold icey dunk
Casket of grinding gears stuck
Struck, sliding into silence
Saturday 8th August 2020 6:46 pm
The only blade I fear is the one that I wield
A single stroke and my fate is sealed
Hold up false hope, impotent shield
Casually spread my bones in untilled fields
Digging in my heels,
it feels like I'm losing you
Digging out six square,
soul bruising blue
Brick slit bullshit, courtyard contortions, fountains of weeds
Walking in ovals, squares
Blackboard becomes the backboard of your...
Tuesday 21st July 2020 3:49 pm
The figure had a lonely aura about itself. Something about it weighed on your charachter. You willingly relinquished parts of yourself in hopes to nurture the overwhelming darkness that the stranger seemed to carry. As your mind opened to the new acquaintanceship the insecurities and fears that were once held by the apparition influenced their way into your esteem. As the light diminished from you...
Tuesday 21st July 2020 8:04 am
In the moonlit dreamtime as the
Warblers rest and stars kiss the midnight sky
I want to die
As the sun rises flirting seductively with
The horizon and cotton candy clouds
Tiptoe across the dawn
I want to die
In nameless parties with empty faces
And monsters growing with every sip of
Poison they ingest
I want to die
Thursday 16th July 2020 4:15 pm
Spiraling down into heaps, ragged and gray, cracked crockpot hip sway
How many times a day do the flies find dead lips
Violence equips violence, self perpetuated static hate
Powers of state observed through grates, through threadbare shirts as they disintegrate
Inflating the lie, runflat tires crushing thighs, for his mom he cries
How do your eyes hold dripping pitchers back, how much empathy...
Thursday 25th June 2020 5:09 pm
You're so impossible
you are selfish
you are difficult
you cause me so much trouble
I've only got this angry with you
you provoked me
you aren't like your brother
you never help
I never get this cross with anyone else
you made me hit you
I lost control because of you
you are defective
but I love you
so all is ok
everything is possible with me
I am self full
Saturday 8th February 2020 11:20 am