Poetry Blogs (2018, addiction)
Maybe today Ill see the reason why
I sit at this machine hoping to be amused
like free spins will pay out
and only to lose
I swear this casino
has only brought me to the deep end
So quick to say fuck it,
and what i would have never pursed
why cant i just refuse?
My mind is too gone, its all been consumed
Broken, bitter and used
Sell us dreams,
and we sell you...
Wednesday 12th December 2018 6:08 am
Rip off the band-aid, get it over with
I never thought it would come to this
Clear mind, clear eyes
Walking straight, no more lies
Don't rely on me and I won't let you down
You can't count on me, I'll only let you down
Don't reach out for me, I'll only let you drown
These feelings are getting harder to fight myself
Pulling teeth to admit I need some help
It's cutting deep on the webbings ...
Tuesday 27th November 2018 11:58 pm
As I continue to reflect on our relationship, both the good along with all the troubles, I find myself to be more and more at peace with my actions and role our relationship. What I continue to take away is that you cannot change someone. It is impossible. However, what is, is the possibility to always change yourself, and hopefully change how others see themselves, others, and see a different...
Monday 27th August 2018 5:09 am
Where's the fucking rizlas man?
I just need a fucking smoke
to take the edge of
starting with just one almighty toke
this week's been shit. I have to say
today's been much the same
let's smoke 'til I can't see her face
and can't recall their names
she said that I'm an addict yeah
what does she fucking know?
A few pills every weekend
and a little bit of blow
a spliff for breakfast every...
Thursday 23rd August 2018 9:34 pm
I don't know.. my life seems out of my control... It's no longer mine it's in the hands of those around me and the governing forces that keep me in line.. I just don't know.. it feels so weird to be sober.... So... Weird... Its not normal for me to fall asleep in a natural way. It almost feels unnatural.. my addiction has become the ruling figure in my life not my emotions,love or financial stabil...
Friday 10th August 2018 4:29 am
Envision this You have lived in a buried dark pit your whole life
Or at least since you can remember
All you have ever known is the feeling of helplessness
There is no way out but up
Which you are not even sure there is a peak
You try to climb
But gravity swallows you whole
And spits you out at the bottom of your inferno
Screaming, even though you are unsure ...
Tuesday 27th February 2018 6:30 am
I'm afraid to have kids
What if they get my depression
Or fucking alcoholism?
What am I supposed to say to them?
Suck it up.
You'll soon find out,
Life just fucking sucks"
It's just not fair
To pass on an ongoing burden
To watch my kid suffer
Knowing that I can't relieve them
They're supposed to be protected
But I can't save them from themself
It just kill...
Friday 16th February 2018 5:22 pm
Shopping for thing's you dont need
spending all your money just to feed
You just got paid and that same day it's gone
the cooperations fool you they're one big con
Special offers things on sale
is their away to escape this jail?
They items you buy make you happy for a while
the obession and thrill of buying makes you smile
whether it's tops, bags, or shoe...
Thursday 15th February 2018 6:55 pm
It's been a while since I've written
It may be 'cause it's been a while
Since I've really felt anything at all
One little white pill
"It'll take all the pain away"
But the dealer never told me
My new friend was here to stay
So before you say yes
There's something I need to say
You'll lie awake wishing for pain
At least then you'll feel something
But it'll never fucking come
Wednesday 10th January 2018 2:16 pm