We met through a lonely hearts column

Such encounters are always pot luck

You're either delighted, even struck dumb

Or left wondering how to get off the hook

That was the night I walked out on grey hair

The poor women noticed my reluctance to stay

Yet on the phone she'd described it as "fair"

"Stay just a while..." I heard her trying to say

Later I felt ashamed fo...

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You truly are my automare

My four-wheeled bankruptcy

My fuel-injected money pit

Made from steel and reformed shit

A velour upholstered credit card hit

Five gears of utter hell

We got off to the worst of starts

And it went downhill from there

Grinding brakes and groaning springs

Ropey tyres and front wheel spins

These are a few of my least favourite ...

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