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Graham Sherwood

Thu 5th Mar 2015 11:58

Laura, thank you for the kind words on Tartan Beret.
I've just been looking at some of your youtube clips (very impressive) how do you do it?

very best regards,

Graham

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rashida.tingle@gmail.com

Thu 5th Mar 2015 11:55

Thanks, Jojo!

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Dave D Poet Rhumour

Thu 5th Mar 2015 11:28

Thanks for commenting on 'TheFamily' Harry. :)
Best wishes, Dave

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Graham Sherwood

Thu 5th Mar 2015 09:55

Hello Harry. Thank you for your points on Tartan Beret.
As you know I'm not a good changer once done but I always appreciate your point of view. It makes me look at the work a different way.
With me the picture comes complete and leaving anything out would be like an incomplete jigsaw, so there it is.
Thank you for taking the time to put pen to paper though. I really do take your views seriously.

regards,

Graham

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Jojo

Thu 5th Mar 2015 02:11

Your writing is simply amazing!

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John Bastard

Wed 4th Mar 2015 15:31

morning/evening jaqueline

I'm smiling like an idiot that you called Raycharles a 'piece.' If I was pretentious I'd describe it as a satire of found poetry, but it's really literally a personal conversation copied, pasted, and reformatted to make it readable. But it is verbatim: it was a bad night with a good ending.

Sometimes my life feels like somebody's making it up, and when I'm talking to someone my mouth moves like I'm an actor, before I even have a chance to think about what I want to say.

If you want to know more about Raycharles, there are some other things way way way back that I wrote like loveletters before I was on WoL that I imported onto here. They are all named 'Ray Charles' followed by a number. http://writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=45923

Just went over your new pieces. I would love to hear R.A.M. recited -- I, too, suffer the malady of a drifting mind. The problem is finding the surface again, sometimes.

Lady Spodden is simply fantastic -- very well paced and the language is fucking perfect. genuinely, i'm impressed and humbled.

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Lan

Wed 4th Mar 2015 11:25

Hi Gray, thanks for taking the time to read & comment on The Tree House. I love If I Were a Proper Poet, can really relate :)

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Lan

Wed 4th Mar 2015 11:18

Hi Andy, thanks for your very kind comment on tree house xx

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Greg Freeman

Tue 3rd Mar 2015 15:01

Thanks for your comments on my Tewkesbury poem, John / Zach. Appreciated.

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Ian Whiteley

Mon 2nd Mar 2015 19:32

Hiya Pixie
thanks so much for commenting on 'st. valentine's day mascara' very kind of you - I appreciate it. Welcome to WOL hope you enjoy the ride
Ian

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Lan

Sun 1st Mar 2015 10:32

Hi Andy, thanks for taking the time to read and comment on The Gift, very flattered that you liked it :)

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John Bastard

Sun 1st Mar 2015 09:34

sure. I'm not very good at recital -- part of the reason why I'm here in the first place-- but I can give it a shot.

pick one.

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Jackie Phillips

Sun 1st Mar 2015 09:27

Zach - thank you so much for the lovely comment on my profile page. It is great to know that those ttiny snippets of feedback on your poems have had such a good effect and are appreciated. Particularly by someone who's poems I admire and 3njoy so much. I would love to hear a reading of one of your poems - any chance of you uploading a recording?

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John Bastard

Fri 27th Feb 2015 21:23

Thank you for continuing to read me.
Embarrassingly enough I get excited when my inbox reads that you've been over something new I've put up. :)

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Tommy Carroll

Fri 27th Feb 2015 21:20

U r wellcome Martin for the "Moment..." post (l keep forgetting its title) :)ta

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David Cooke

Fri 27th Feb 2015 20:38

Hi Harry Thanks for comment on my starlings. David

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Nigel Astell

Fri 27th Feb 2015 15:50

Sleeping with the Devil

The nightmare returns
sleepwalker I become.

Still evil beckons
me to die.

Falling into hell
intense fire below.

Then waking up
Sun and God.

They both rejoice
the battle won.

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Chris Briggs

Fri 27th Feb 2015 12:32

Jackie, Thanks for the comment on 'Pringles Bladder', glad you liked it, to be honest I prefer to write (and perform) 'less cerebral' narrative poetry as would rather make people smile than make them think.

I should have written 'Do Not Try This At Home' on the bottom ;o)

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Martin Elder

Thu 26th Feb 2015 18:30

I thank God for that welcoming light
as the darkness at last fades into day
and I can say
Where is your cruel sting now
begone tormentor, enough
you shall not have my heart
my soul
it is for another
whether by day
or the dead of night
the battle rages on
but the war eternal
is forever won

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Wendy

Thu 26th Feb 2015 16:14

Hi Tommy thankyou for your comment regards Wendy

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Wendy

Thu 26th Feb 2015 16:04

Thanyou for your lovely comments I hope I have plenty more poems to write wendy

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Nigel Astell

Thu 26th Feb 2015 15:34

I Crave Death

If the devil
demands we sleep
it is so
he can steal
our defenseless souls.

Light of day
immediately tells us
a nightmare suffered
why then do - - -
I crave death.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 25th Feb 2015 15:22

Hi, Laura,

Such a busy week it has been. and, finally, when I sit down to scope, my VODA account runs out beneath my fingers! But my husband donned his 'rainies' and sallied forth to the shop. (His phone refused to co-operate. Sometimes modernism just freaks me out.)

I do not think age equates wisdom - far from it. Experience might, but even then, not always. IMO, WISDOM asserts itself clearly at about age five, maybe earlier, six clearly, eight absolutely. After that, it is just application as needs be. The 'scope' may be expanded, but the 'power' remains inviolate, and frequently disturbing, for all your life.

End of rant! You are such an inspiration. And nothing makes me smile as much as you do.

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 25th Feb 2015 15:12

Hello Aly - the art of short story writing is
challenging and demands both imagination and
a wide vocabulary. It pays to invest in the
tools of any writer's trade: a good dictionary
and a Roget's Thesaurus (often obtained cheaply
in S/H/charity shops).
Mixing tenses can be effective but needs
practice and careful revision to ensure it works in any given context.
The appropriate use of language in any given
context takes practice and thought. As I
remarked elsewhere, the term "bark(s)" cannot
be accurately applied to a woman's voice in
most people's minds and another word can be
substituted. This understanding/knowledge
is not acquired "overnight" but keep at it!
You possess the most important ingredient - the
wish to create...and the polish that the right
words give to your work will surely come with
diligence. discipline and application.
Like all arts, writing short stories demands
proper devotion towards getting it right and
the rewards are self-evident to creator and reader. Finally, age is no bar to excellence.
You show commitment and that is more important!
When you love and respect something, you always
want to do the best you can...right?
Best wishes.
MC

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Ally Aly

Wed 25th Feb 2015 14:41

Thank You for your Comment on "Above The Skyline"

Thank you for your honesty, I will soon post a Revised Copy of this material.i will be the first to admit that my story is not yet a mature story. This story has not yet been revised properly, I will take the time to revise it soon. I began typing this and 30 minutes later posted it online. My reasoning to post it was to see what others thought of the story before I invest hours in my writing. This was originally just a way to blow some time. From the looks of the story and now seeing your comment I am inspired to create a more sophisticated version of this story. Just as a 15 year old student I sometimes struggle with the right words to say.

Thank you for honest feedback.
Aly.

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Dave D Poet Rhumour

Wed 25th Feb 2015 03:17

Hi Bailey, welcome to the site, I hope you will find sharing your writing here helps you to develop your work. Best wishes, Dave

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Dave D Poet Rhumour

Wed 25th Feb 2015 03:14

Welcome to the site Jenny! Blogging in prose or poetry can be a great way to get our thoughts clarified and sharing them will undoubtedly help you to develop your style.

Enjoy it all! Dave

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Dave D Poet Rhumour

Wed 25th Feb 2015 03:04

Thanks Lynn, I appreciate your comments on 'Last Hope Of Redemption' my friend. :) Best wishes, Dave

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Martin Elder

Tue 24th Feb 2015 14:53

Oh Brutal, brutal night
get behind me
with your cruel tortuous
contemplations
exploding lamentations
and the endless
tick tock tick
of the son of lucifer
the all intrusive clock

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Isobel

Tue 24th Feb 2015 13:57

Thanks for your comment on my last poem Paul - I'm touched that you found it thought provoking. And I'm also sorry that you are relocating to Torquay! You'll have to come back and visit us in Wigan whenever you can - and next time, I'd love to hear you perform some of your poems too!

Take care and I hope the move goes well. xx

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Dave D Poet Rhumour

Mon 23rd Feb 2015 03:13

Welcome to the site Pixie, I can see much strength is drawn from the experiences you register in your sample piece. use that strength throughout your writing and you will achieve much. best wishes, Dave

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Dave D Poet Rhumour

Mon 23rd Feb 2015 03:08

Hello MC, thanks for commenting on 'Don't You Dare'.

I responded there in detail and won't duplicate it here as it is a bit long. Best wishes, Dave

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Andy N

Mon 23rd Feb 2015 00:05

Hi Martin - thanks for the comment on the prologue to Ghost story II.

The plan certainly is to read it out next month with the second prologue piece which I am still working on.

See you then.

Hope you are good

Andy

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Martin Elder

Sun 22nd Feb 2015 22:51

Hi Pixie
Welcome to WOL. I really like your sample poem which has so much gut wrenching emotion.

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Wendy

Sun 22nd Feb 2015 17:21

Thankyou for reading my poem kind regards Wendy .

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<Deleted User> (9882)

Sat 21st Feb 2015 22:43

Catch you soon fella.x

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Dave D Poet Rhumour

Sat 21st Feb 2015 16:55

Thanks for your comments on 'Don't You Dare' Lynn. Peace is the only way to achieve any stable world order - we've seen all attempts to use violence fail throughout history - and each time a new megalomaniac tries his hand, their reign is shorter than the previous bunch.

Of course they are generally too egocentric to notice history shows they have little prospect of success beyond a few years at most. best wishes, Dave

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Wendy

Sat 21st Feb 2015 14:49

Hi Jacqueline thanyou for your comment on my poem EDITH my mum had eltzimers for 25 years she was lovely and died aged 95 regards Wendy Higson

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<Deleted User> (9882)

Sat 21st Feb 2015 10:35

Hi again Mikey.'All' taken on board.Bit rushed this morning.Will get back to you.Lots of love.

Rose.x

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Nigel Astell

Thu 19th Feb 2015 15:19


Wavelength

As the waves of poetry
flow as one into the shore
words disburse along different paths
forming again through sands of time.

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Martin Elder

Wed 18th Feb 2015 22:50

Isn't it incredible about the way words flow, perhaps it could the start of some sort of collage!

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that bloody poet

Wed 18th Feb 2015 19:23

thanks Autumn and Preeti! Really is wonderful being able to see people who share a love for poetry! :)

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Laura Taylor

Wed 18th Feb 2015 16:25

Don't do that, you'll get muddy! ;D

Kind words Cynthia, thank you. Took a fair few months to kick into shape did Sophia, but I just couldn't let her lie. I'm going through a bit of an exploration of ageing at the moment - because of my growing (and sometimes painful) awareness of my own changes, in good, bad, interesting, and erm, challenging ways shall we say!

The idea that wisdom comes with age irritates me. It isn't automatic is it?

And yeh, you're right.

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Lan

Wed 18th Feb 2015 12:18

Hi Cynthia,
Thanks so much for reading & commenting on Finding Freya. Sad to hear you've had a couple of months with family illness & hope that improves soon. I really appreciate the time you take to read and comment. As you've noticed I can get a bit sloppy with punctuation etc, and I really appreciate reminders, and any suggestions at all so please when you have time keep reading & commenting,
Lee x

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Nigel Astell

Wed 18th Feb 2015 11:27

I liked the way your words found mine.

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Ian Whiteley

Tue 17th Feb 2015 18:18

Hi Paul - thanks for the kind comments regarding 'Mama' - yes the Old Courts is a good venue for reciting the spooky stuff isn't it? I appreciate you taking time out to comment - see you next month
Ian

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Ian Whiteley

Tue 17th Feb 2015 18:17

Thanks very much for commenting on 'Mama' Jackie - I'm pleased it spooked you (if you see what I mean)welcome to WOL - I appreciate you taking the time to comment
Ian

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Ian Whiteley

Tue 17th Feb 2015 18:15

Thanks for commenting on 'Mama' Harry - sorry I'm slow in responding. I know what you mean about the order of the stanzas, but I was trying to conceal the big reveal that it's about actual children rather than dolls. Not sure if that worked - but that was the plan. Performed it in Wigan at the Old Courts last week - a suitably spooky environment and it seemed to go down well - so looks like it may have legs as a performance piece. Cheers

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Preeti Sinha

Tue 17th Feb 2015 03:06

John, thank you for your lovely comments on my work ! I feel privileged at your comparison with the Romantics!

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Tom

Mon 16th Feb 2015 15:42

Hi Ally, thanks for the comment and great to hear from you. Think I've lost my writing mojo a bit over the last few years; still doing it regularly but less happy with the output. Still, got to keep trying right? :) I hope that whatever you're doing, you're creating! x

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