I expect this will sound great if it is read out loud.

Comment is about MOODS...(dedicated to the colourfull nature of moods) (blog)

This is quite exciting - it gives a real sense of "being there". You could probably cut about half of the lines without losing anything important: it would have far more impact if it was shorter. It could also do with some more explanation of what it is that everyone is so angry about.

Comment is about 1st April 2009 - PART 1 (my account of G20) (blog)

Hi again Peter,
i've read this several times and the more i read it, the more i think of the Berlin wall when it came down. The shock and horror as well as the sheer emotions wrought between the difference in people on each side of it.

Janet.x

Comment is about ambrosia to the ears (blog)

interesting batch of observations Yosh - are you happy with the end product? -

finds for false charity - i like the words together

though hunting like packs of wolves and moving like the elderly don't work together as images for me and am similarly displaced by decending from an underworld?

i get what you want to say - and perhaps preformed - this poem would work better than when read...

hope this helps

steve

Comment is about SMACKHEADS.... (blog)

Gorgeous... what more is there to say?

Comment is about Lovers (blog)

Original item by Phil Golding

This is so nicely written... Lots of reflection and sentiment...

Love these lines...

'And the wax runs down
like tears shed over the pain
written like sand
in this past chapter of our lives,
black ink and blue tears,
and was this year so bad
that it should die quickly?'

Comment is about Candlelight (blog)

I really like this Pete...
The first and last lines together say it all ; )

Comment is about mans sober state (blog)

This is so lovely... The imagery that this poem evokes is beautiful...
I can relate to this so well...

Comment is about Emotions to Distant Shore (blog)

Original item by Phil Golding

I have been writing poetry for many years, on and off, and I have never once performed it in front of an audience, so you have my, admiration there, for doing so, plus, no ones ever ask me. (ha!)
In my opinion, you seem to be ’too hard’ on yourself, regarding your poetry, and I quote, ’A sporadic, temperamental and thoroughly amateurish performance poet‘. Firstly, poetry should be sporadic, write with heart, not the brain. Secondly, there is nothing amateurish, in performing before an audience, you surely have the mind, and the attitude of someone who can conduct themselves in a professional manner, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to distinguish the difference between the two. Finally, and most importantly, your work projects, honesty, warmth, underline humour, love, betrayal, sadness and happiness, and there’s nothing amateurish about that. You have a ’craft’ and a ’underground talent’ which would benefit, less experienced poets. Thank you, for being you. x

Comment is about Danni Antagonist (poet profile)

Original item by Danni Antagonist

Oh for the gift of hind-sight!
I like the moral this portrays after the event.

Another thought provoking poem Gary, well thought out. :-)
Janet.x

Comment is about 'From Vodka To Redemption' (blog)

I'm tempted but i will not take the bait!

Hi Gary, i could actually feel the 'angst' within this poem. Nervous tension, anticipation yet the strength and the will not to give in to it.
Nice one!
Janet.x

Comment is about 'The Black Widow Spider' (blog)

Its great to read your work again...

Comment is about Carol Falaki (poet profile)

Original item by Carol Falaki

Hm, very moody!
Hi Yosh, hope you're having a brighter day today.

I like quite a lot of your writings, i can relate to most of it but not to all, i have to admit.
Janet.x

Comment is about MOODS...(dedicated to the colourfull nature of moods) (blog)

Nice poem, yes...

Comment is about bee shaped (blog)

Hi Julia, congratulations on becoming 'poet of the month.'
I think i actually commented on this poem some time ago but for the life of me i can't think when.
I do remember it was a positive response.
This one is no less positive. Agree with the other comments.
ps. you forgot the learning to kiss the back of the hand. ha ha.

Janet.x

Comment is about Learning To Kiss (article)

Hi Peter,
this struck a chord in me for the sheer truth in it.
"the chatbox is a protein pill" yes, and it can be as addictive as opium or other narcotic.

I don't do facebook, it has no attraction for me whatsoever, but i am a an active member on something similar which is supposedly for like minded people. I had in excess of 30 friends on one site where people used the invite system to make friends, or was it to gain points they could earn on the site? Truth is, they invited me and not the other way around. Seems i had something they wanted but didn't realize they actually have to work for it before they can gain the experience for themselves. It closed down recently and only one of the 'friends' has bothered to make personal contact. Boy am i glad i didn't invite the others round for a knees up. (so to speak.)

Ah well. Such is life!
I moved on and wish them well when they do too. :-)

That's what i love about your work. It sparks a reaction from me which often follows with deep thought. Good stuff Peter.
Janet.x

Comment is about Facebook U Turn (blog)

Ah what a great egg! I enjoyed this little poem.

Comment is about 3 1/2 minute egg (blog)

Very nice poem, I hope she can read your mind, when the time comes.

Comment is about Living in another world to you (blog)

tuesday depends on the completion of a piece of work , if i was perfect i would have it done for two pm on tuesday , hand it in , then go to dads for tea , then onto hebden bridge , , i have said i wouldnt make this one , but that was before i realised i was on jolly holidays :) , ps i was going to chat but you disappeared

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

i wish i could say this was nonsense , that men just say it when they love someone , but its not always so. and there are times when it would have been so much better said. in so many situations . but your poem expresses the feelings well,

Comment is about Living in another world to you (blog)

i do like this , , with sunflowers to ease my pain

Comment is about POETRY FREESTYLE... (blog)

Excellent. Memories of kissing unloved aunts with moustaches, the awkward kissing of a new acquaintance you quite fancy. the kiss you wnat to wipe straight off, the one you never want to. A great topic well delivered. Thank you.

Comment is about Learning To Kiss (article)

i dont comment much , but i read lots , , if we meet , i get braver about commenting :)

Comment is about RE: POETS COMMENTS (blog)

This is theatre. So many good lines in it, not least 'the clucking cow I am
yet silent rocking
even my sexual screams
mean nothing'

And the plea for love and freedom at the end is very touching. Most of us don't know how lucky we are.

Comment is about ambrosia to the ears (blog)

MIke
I would like to talk to you about this.
Its very interesting and engaging
never enough time
we need to make some
spring is here, maybe ill drive up and see you

Comment is about Are Tramps Objectively Treated? (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

Hi Gus,
slams are like that.
I enjoyed it and i judged the Wigan one last year, it it's not an easy job because you just don't know what's coming next and the theme of each performer is so very different from the others, it creates a confusion because of the range of emotions projected.
Those who performed in the second half had a better chance to adapt to the audience responses from the first half. Personally, i'd only taken along the work i intended to perform. It went down a storm at Wigan, which reflects the mood of the evening really. I accept that and would still do it again.
I hope you will too. See you at Wigan on Thursday if you're going to be there. :-)
Janet.x

Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Yosh, another impressive piece from your good self. You know 'love,' and 'life' in all its expressive ways. And I agree with pete, some good therapy there. Top one!

Comment is about LOVE.... (blog)

Yosh,
I have been looking thru your poems
Great and powerful work, some hard edge rap styled stuff! You have some emotions there ready to explode, heres hopin you get the mic and hammer them out

'shanes brain rattled to bits' - like that bit too

will go have a read thru your other works, yes! powerful mate!

keep em goin..........
I hope that its good therapy, I recognise a lot of what you are saying here.....

Its like what I always say 'poetry is therapy'

cheers! and keep writing, ill go check your stuff out now

Comment is about LOVE.... (blog)

Hi Steve,
thanks for your comment on the taxi poem.
It's not you being thick, i had a tendency towards 'telling' too much in my work and in the attempts to stop myself from doing that, i've gone to the other extreme of taking out too much. I'm learning along with everyone else but now at least i can take the criticism for the most part :-)

I'm removing the poem to work on it but just for the record, the drivers are actually waiting for punters, silver foil balls are what they throw at each other and the emissions are the farts which never go unnoticed.
Billinge rain you already know, but outside is where we gather to smoke with no shelter.
The original title was love affair and the last line was supposed to be a twist at the end eg. a fare.

I'll work on it and post again at a later date.
Less than six months ago i would have tossed it in the bin and probably had a paddy and removed my profile too but i'm learning and growing now as i go merrily along.
Writing isn't my first love, i have several other things on the go, but i've reached the point of no return and so now want to get right the bit i do.

I'm working on a poem for my first anniversary on this website. Hopefully it will be funny but also have some insight for the new ones who like me, entered it without much knowledge of literary terms and the mechanics of poetry etc...
and without malice for those who might have upset me along the way.
Touchy sods and sensitive people, writers aren't they! :-)
Sorry for the long winded response.
Janet.x

Comment is about Steve Regan (poet profile)

Original item by Steve Regan

you've had a positive effect on my life mate, clearly you make Emily very happy, what more do you want? is there any 2 people more important??!!

Comment is about NOT GOOD ENOUGH. (blog)

Pete you are frighteningly intouch and profound....
I need to read several agains and discuss...
gus

Comment is about ambrosia to the ears (blog)

Hi Alan
Thanks for your critique re Body Clock very astute..
once again thank you so much.
Gus

Comment is about alan barlow (poet profile)

Original item by alan barlow

thanks for all your lovely comments about monday nite, i had a great nite. x

Comment is about michael wilson (poet profile)

Original item by michael wilson

Lovely Peter,
i too would like to hear you perform this at the Tudor. :-)

Janet.x

Comment is about something to celebrate (blog)

Hi Peter,
this is so sporadically profound, it's difficult to define but i sense this is the main characteristic of the poem.
I love the sheer depth of it, but especially the last two lines in the finale. They say it all for me.

Great mastery of a subject given too little thought to and one which is as true now as it was in times of war.

Janet.x

Comment is about ambrosia to the ears (blog)

Hi Pete

Another roller-coaster of a piece. I'm going to get my boots and little helmet from out the shed. It's time to go pot-holing inside this poem. I'll let you know what I find...?

Comment is about ambrosia to the ears (blog)

Hi Steve,
thanks for your comment on my poem,
'pondering' the back yard'
Yes it reminds me of my picking the seeds with a pin too. Got the holes in my tongue to prove it.

Janet.x

Comment is about Steve Regan (poet profile)

Original item by Steve Regan

"confused,but clarity calls to seduce me one more time"

punchy n speed
good rap

like the desperation in this Yosh.

Comment is about UNTITLED 3 (blog)

A fantastic honour to join you on stage Steve!
Poetry (for me) is all about passionate performance, good writing and mostly having fun, as that makes you live longer. I am no page poet, no critique, I just know what I see and like, you being an instant hit.

regards
P

Comment is about Steve Regan (poet profile)

Original item by Steve Regan

Congratulations and well done ! I was very sad I couldn't make it esp as I was a contestant too. Never mind - next time

Comment is about Louise Fazackerly at the Bolton Slam, Octagon Theatre, March 2009 (photo)

Nice flow and rhyming.
Interesting twist at the end... but sad.

Comment is about There's Another Person Leaving (blog)

Original item by George Stanworth

Nice... interesting with all the Tick-Click's...
I like that each line is direct...
I could visualise this quite well.

Comment is about that night (blog)

Original item by alan barlow

moon your arse to mars :)

i promise if i get the chance , if the car comes by me . pixilate that !!

Comment is about the google camera car is coming (blog)

Thanks for your recent comment Simon. It makes sense.

Comment is about Simon Rennie (poet profile)

Original item by Simon Rennie

Pete, that's a great one; like John said, intimate and touching. It's about "love", I'd say, though you don't use that word in it, only "lover". The piece also illuminates the nature of being human - which is one of the great themes of poetry, and of philosophy. Hope you will perform it at the Tudor.

Comment is about something to celebrate (blog)

I wish you well Mr Crompton, I wish you well.

Comment is about something to celebrate (blog)

Good stuff Peter.

Intimate, touching.

Like the lines:

I like to beat
your radiated heat
into the world of me

and

you are valuable
I am ply and malleable
for you forming the spoon

Look forward to hearing it some day.

Comment is about something to celebrate (blog)

Must agree - it was really an excellent night. Although competitive the atmosphere was great and poets were well supported. Felt a bit sorry for Louise having to go first (I know its hard because I did in my first slam at Wigan).

Well done all especially the winner who was superb and the organisers.

Photos now in galleries

Comment is about Michael Wilson is the Write Out Loud 2009 Bolton Slam Champ! (article)

Good poem,well presented. We hold identical views Gary.

Comment is about 'Barbed Wire Freedom' (blog)

Photos by me

Comment is about Degsy Jones comperes at the Everyman Theatre, Liverpool April 2009 (photo)