Have you noticed?
Have you noticed how I’m chewing gum again?
How apples have become my favourite food again?
That I can’t sit down because of the bruises again?
How I replace meals with jogging or writing or playing again?
Have you noticed that I’m drinking coffee again?
Have you noticed me?
I want someone to notice me.
Will you notice me again?
The water is starting to hurt again.
I don’t stop drinking it, It stops the hunger.
My body is becoming a bathtub again.
It is overflowing again.
I’m cold again.
I don't feel full again.
I want to feel full again.
I'll never be full again.
There is nothing where my stomach should be, food should be, my brain should be.
It’s getting bad again.
I can’t eat, I can’t watch the number rise.
I’m light headed again.
Another stick of gum again.
My stomach won’t stop begging again.
My body is begging again.
Doesn’t anyone care? Can't they see?
Don’t let them see again.
Write again. Exercise again. I don’t care, do it all again.
Even if it hurts. Even if you are dying.
Make someone care again.
You are doing this to yourself again. Why are you doing this to yourself again?
Why am I doing this to myself again? Just eat. Why can't I just eat again?
Do you notice me again? Do you only notice me when I am sick? When I am dying?
Then I will be sick and dying again. So you notice me again.
I’m sorry body,
For doing this again.