It started so tentatively.

Arms reaching awkwardly,

a frisson of fear until

her arms respond.

A nervous coming together of lips,

which then part

to allow a hesitant foray

past the confines of teeth.

And relax,

as tongues begin to twine,

at first timidly,

then with increasing confidence.

Gradually, the embrace becomes tighter,

yet more comfortable,

bodies a...

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Theresa’s been down on her luck

Cos Brexit is coming unstuck

She’s twisted and turned

But now she’s been burned

And nobody’s giving a snowball’s chance in hell of her succeeding

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Pains in the chest that woke me up at half three,

Ambulance to A & E isn’t where I want to be.

Trolley in a corridor,

Waiting for a doctor,

Nurses busy running round tryin’ to get the queues down,

Shiver while I’m waiting in a split-right-down-the-back gown.

Lying in the heart ward, wired up like a switchboard,

Watch the nurses passing, looking at their clipboard.

Tell...

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They tell me that Christmas is coming

And those dozen drummers are drumming

But the pipers I think

Have had too much to drink

And their conduct’s become unbecoming

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Twitter twit tweets: the world waits in fear of re-tweeted Armageddon.

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I want to tell a story now, it happened long ago,

So gather round and pay a heed to me.

It tells us of the reason, ‘cause I’m sure you want to know,

Why the fairy sits atop the Christmas tree.

It had just got past midwinter and old Santa Claus was vexed,

The rebellious elves were going out on strike,

And Mrs Claus upset him with the news she gave him next,

That her mum wa...

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In the garden was a snowman and the kids had called him Frankie
He came to life at midnight Christmas Eve
And he set off round the neighbourhood in search of hanky panky
Or that’s what I was given to believe

As he passed along the street he met a snowgirl name of Jackie
Upon her head she wore a sexy hat
So he asked if he could talk to her and promised nothing tacky
She said that he could ...

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D’you really think I’m gonna serve you, kid?

That fake ID won’t do no good in here.

The Follies ain’t some dive run off the grid,

Where punks like you can go to blag some beer.

You can’t fool me, I’ve seen it all before;

I bet your mother doesn’t know you’re out,

And if we have to kick you out the door,

She’ll hear about it, and you’ll get a clout.

Yeah, just beca...

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Vicarious trauma of near-death experience

Can make you wake up to existence’s transience,

And threat of decease or cessation of sentience

Can come as a bit of a shock

When someone who’s younger and normally healthy,

Is on an IC ward for treatment quite lengthy,

You pray she recovers and gets through it safely,

But still you will pause and take stock.

For all of th...

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I wish he wouldn’t wink at me like that!

He told me I must sit here and keep still.

Between his bushy beard and silly hat,

I don’t think there’s a chance I ever will.

Old Leo is supposed to be the best,

And said for us he’d paint a masterpiece;

For just a little gold, we’d be impressed,

And want to hang it on the mantelpiece.

But sitting on this chair for hours o...

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Avez vous un cup of tea

J’ai besoin for a rest

Mes pauvres feet hurt aujourd’hui

It would be a beau geste

Maybe just une demi-heure

Relaxing sur la chaise

Sitting on ma derrière

Et me mettre à l'aise

A biscuit too to dunk dedans

Oh please mes chers amis

It makes it easy on mes dents

If that would be permis

Merci for your sympathy

Jj'espère it’s...

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In the beginning I felt nothing;

she was just an itch

barely deserving a scratch.

Then I started to notice;

she was there each day,

and she grew on me.

I enjoyed the attention,

encouraged her,

spoke to her,

basking in her devotion.

She began to take over my life,

and at first it was a joy,

an easy relationship

where we both prospered.

L...

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With harvest safely gathered in

This Hallows Eve, the dead will rise,

To haunt the homes of kith and kin

With echoes of the banshee’s cries.

Then fearful folk will all withdraw,

And leave outside their sacred gift;

Remaining safe from tooth and claw

Of spectral shades who cross the rift.

Deep in the throes of Samhain’s night,

When terror pounds the panicked bre...

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It’s time that the story was told

How passion that night took a hold

There was snow all around

But they happily found

Not everything shrinks when it’s cold

The temperature dropped through the night

But they were so filled with delight

That they did it again

And again and again

And once more before it was light

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They’re selling bloody Christmas,

It’s already in the shops

It’s just half past October

And they’re pulling out the stops

I really can’t believe it

But the local Carvery

Has set up by the entrance

A confounded Christmas tree

There’s cards of Christmas greetings

Now appearing on the shelves

They’re stirring up the fervour

In receptive under-twelves

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Replete with woodland’s banquet, now the flocks

Begin to gather for their winter break;

As trees cast off autumnal russet frocks,

A rustling blanket in the summer’s wake.

Then swirling, now transparent, now opaque,

A roiling cloud that stains the sunset sky,

Till all at once a shared consensus makes

A turn, to arrow swiftly up so high,

Without a backward look, nor pause to ...

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This egg was a little bit sleazy

They reckoned she turned over easy

Showed off her sunny side

Right down my throat to slide

And now my poor tummy’s turned queasy

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That day my sweetheart landed with a brown bag in his hand,

I was sitting in the sunshine at my ease.

He put a burger in my hand and I couldn’t understand

Why he’d brought me one without the chuffin’ cheese.

It was beautifully done, with a lovely seeded bun,

But the look I gave him put him on his knees;

When he said “What is it hon?”, I said it simply isn’t done;

It’s ver...

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It’s time to put away the toys

And lay your heads down sleepy boys

Wearied now from all that play

Because you’ve had a busy day

Hush those drowsy tears and sighs

It’s time to rest and close your eyes

So come my little manikins

Let Mommy kiss and tuck you in

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The moment I met her she robbed me of sense

I thought that I loved her but she was a flirt

Who talked a good game that was all a pretence

Served up the hors d’oeuvres but avoided dessert

So curvy and carefree, she brightened each day

Her joy evanescent like scent on the breeze

But all my illusions were soon washed away

As her words like a knife cut me off at the knees

...

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Lies and damned lies, political promises,

Sound bytes all studded with prevarication;

Eloquent rhetoric, doesn’t care what he says,

Carefully crafted to hoodwink the nation.

Stands tall and true like like a sturdy young oak,

A trustworthy face is his expertise;

Everything hidden with mirrors and smoke,

Smooth obfuscation to hide all the sleaze.

Adopts cause célèbr...

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Axiomatical

Not allegorical

He’s almost comical

President Trump

Manners are bestial

Extraterrestrial

Take a sabbatical

Go take a jump

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Sent off to school and warmly dressed,

They said they loved him but they lied.

He was first-born, but second-best;

A sister came, pushed him aside.

He tried his best, worked very hard,

They never noticed what he did;

Became reclusive, quiet, scarred,

They never sought him when he hid.

He was a sad and lonely boy,

While she had laughter in her life;

He watche...

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Irrespective of how much you try

The irrational nature of pi

Means when you do the sums

The result never comes

There’s just numbers in endless supply

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Some people just don’t understand

My girlfriend’s quite hard to withstand

As I tried to please her

Bent over the freezer

The man at Waitrose said we’re banned

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I love you to the moon and back,

But what about the air you’ll lack?

You really look a million bucks;

Wrinkled and green, oh man that sucks!

So hungry I could eat a horse;

But that’s absurd, I’d burst of course!

I have a million things to do;

Please don’t be daft, that’s just not true.

It took forever to arrive;

If that was so, who’d be alive?

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A tad overweight, I am self-diagnosed,

I need to get rid of some weight.

I’ll be breaking my fast on boiled eggs and toast,

Now doesn’t that sound truly great.

It’s no more for me that old bacon and egg,

With sausage and mushrooms and beans.

Don’t give it me no matter how much I beg,

Or I’ll never fit in my jeans.

It’s built through the years and I’m really ashame...

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thrusting green shoots

speckle dark branches

a sparrow alights

floral perfume

on mellow evening breeze

a blood-red sun sets

autumn coloured leaves

covering forest glade

a murmuration flies

stark dank branches

clawing into dark skies

a snowflake falls

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She wore an almost there bikini

In a brand new Lamborghini

Have a look, her motor’s running

Aren’t those bumpers really stunning

Great suspension, lovely action

That rear end has got some traction

Purring like a pussycat

I’d love to fool around in that

Love the lines and love the curves

See the sexy way she swerves

Showing off the special tooling

Have you...

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Bleak

barren limbs

tall and stark

claw into evening sky

silhouetted against the setting sun

trunk

dank

glistening

waiting for green buds of spring

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The spotlights have been dimmed

Words of homage fill the page

Every eye with tears is brimmed

For the Queen has left the stage

Such memories are rooted

In songs we can’t ignore

But now her music’s muted

She will sing for us no more

And though we are bereft

This comfort comes to mind

The legacy she left

Is there for all mankind

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A day to remember, a day to forget,

A day that is etched in my memory yet.

A day that began with a stunned disbelief,

A day to come home to a house full of grief.

A day when they tell you your father has died,

A day when you wish you could just go and hide.

A day when your mother has tears on her face,

A day when relations support and embrace.

A night so surreal w...

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before I knew it

we had talked right through the night

and as the sun rose

her hair became a halo

in whose brightness I was lost

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Into the kitchen, surrounded by clutter

Crumb-covered plate sitting next to the butter

Coffee stained mug at the edge of the sink

Put on the kettle to make me a drink

Dust-dotted gadgets lie dormant, unused

Wearily waiting in vain to be used

Bottles of wine in the half-empty rack

Patiently wait for the corkscrew’s attack

Deafened by silence that echoes so loud

...

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We are sorry, we have not been able to answer your call;

You are third in the queue.

Please continue to hold

And your call will be answered

As soon as an operator becomes available.

I don’t have any milk,

I’d better add that to the list.

Wonder what they’re up to next door?

They’re making a right racket.

It must be…

We are sorry, we have not been able to answer your c...

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is so untidy.

It sneaks up when you’re not ready.

Doesn’t give you a chance

to return the library books,

or cancel the milk.

It would be far better

if it could make an appointment,

give you time to finish what you’re doing.

I get that it’s inevitable,

that nobody escapes it.

Maybe you can evade it for a while,

but sooner or later

you know it will come,

the fi...

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To the bog again,

with the ghosts of forefathers looking on,

surveying the task before them.

Along the turf face, the marks of the sleán,

slim, practised cuts,

a tribute to skills passed down the generations

who have worked this land

beyond memory.

Still-damp turves to turn,

dry stacks to gather in.

Fuel to stave off the cruel winter about to come.

Fuel to feed the...

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A pizza base to die for,

I eat the edges first,

With toppings I can savour

Until my tummy bursts.

Its taste cannot be faulted,

With mushrooms, not a few;

There’s capers, small and salted,

And ham and olives too.

It’s heaped with mozzarella,

And a spiced tomato paste;

A taste of vita bella,

So let nothing go to waste.

I’m going there for dinner,

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We went to the seaside to sit in the sun

Sending home postcards suitably dutiful

And on them we wrote with a sense of good fun

Weather is here, we wish you were beautiful

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Alas poor Bill stopped writing long ago,

By now his ancient bones have turned to dust.

He’s famous for his plays as we all know;

Back then they did but purchase him a crust.

We still enjoy performances today;

The tragedies and comedies so famed,

Of kings and princes, and the Scottish play

That superstitious actors rarely named.

The words of this Elizabethan bard

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The elections are here, for whom should I vote?

They’re drilled by their parties, repeating by rote;

Most don’t even live here, they’d have to commute,

To visit the voters in their snazzy suits.

We tell them what’s wrong, and they listen and smile,

And say they will fix it, but might take a while.

No matter which party you speak to today,

They promise and trot out the sam...

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Mo Salah this season

Beyond hope or reason

Is scoring for fun

And still isn’t done

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Yesterday was summer but it’s now gone back to spring,

With just a hint of winter as it has a final fling;

The weather’s topsy-turvy, no one knows what’s coming next,

All the TV weathermen are baffled and perplexed.

They show us all their graphics, with those charming little signs,

And wave their arms and smile at us while trotting out their lines.

They talk about the weathe...

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Some days it seems like the bus is out of control,

and you’re not sure if you’re actually on the bus,

or if you have just been left standing at the stop

as the bus sails past.

Then you start to think it even might be the wrong bus,

but it’s about to pull away from the stop,

so you leap on anyway.

You ask people where this bus is going to,

and nobody seems to know;

or at ...

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There is a moment when you know,

Transcending hope and pure desire;

You feel the kindling of the fire,

So certain now how it will go.

No more ambiguous disguise,

But confidence and surety;

You see what her response will be,

It’s clearly shining from her eyes.

That instant fixed in memory,

The exultation thus enshrined,

Forever burned into your mind,

That ...

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He’s slipped from the ‘A’ list right down to the ‘D’,

His career has slid into decline.

He once almost daily was seen on TV,

Now only in re-runs on-line.

His name is no longer the top of the bill,

More often it’s not there at all.

They say they will call him, but they never will,

Such is the extent of his fall.

His fortune has slowly been frittered away,

Like h...

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Now winter’s loosed its icy grip,

It’s time to think of how you dress;

I’m not suggesting you should strip,

Just give some thought to wearing … less.

Discard concealing fleecy coats,

And lose the scarves and woollen mitts.

Bring out the shorts, a dress that floats,

Surprise us with your tailored … fits.

Embrace the sight of cloudless skies

In clothes to set our...

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Footsteps echoing

on wet pavement.

Dull yellow light

filtering through misty rain,

casting shadows

on decayinging bricks

of the sleeping street.

A sudden movement

races the pulse.

Pausing to look,

relieved at her own reflection

in the curtained window

but the pavement still echoes….

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Leaving.

Ripping me apart.

A sense of disbelief,

beyond the ragged edge of reason

into oblivion,

where I must consign you

as if you never were.

For how could I bear

knowing you were there

and now are not.

You are a non-person,

a ghost,

a shade of a dream

to be quickly forgotten

if I am to survive.

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He was so lascivious

But she was oblivious

He tried to be devious

She thought him just piteous

He said she was beauteous

But she became dubious

Said he was hideous

That he made her bilious

She heard he had previous

His nature perfidious

So she became furious

Blew her top like Vesuvius

Then he was discourteous

Became acrimonious

But she was i...

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