Poetry Blog by Miranda Fegan (depression)

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My Muse Is Dead

Beige walls stand empty where original artworks once hung
A woman, beyond her years in mind and body, sits at her desk
Staring at a screen that, despite vast knowledge at her fingertips
Is empty
The cloud of cognizance that enveloped her has cleared
Ridiculed by those she trusted
"Over medicated"
No more pills
No more gange
Nothing to help control the demons within her mind
There is no feeling o...

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adhdartistsbipolarBipolar depression sadnessbulliesdepressiongiving up on passionsgiving up on peoplemedicationmental illnessocdprocessing emotionsptsdshame

Pick Up (A Selfish Poem)

Your Skype signed in again
It’s so tempting to call you
There’s a voice screaming at me to just
Pick up the phone
Just pick up the phone
Against every urge
I’m silent, all except these prose
I must stay silent
Must wait
Wait for what?
For the message, the text, the phone call
Another voice tells me
That will never happen
Selfishly, I want you to miss me
I want to make you miss me
Ma...

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adhdanxietybut i refuse to act selfish anymoreddepressionheartbreaki am allowed to have selfish feelingsi miss youi miss you alreadylong distancelovemissselfishSometimes I wake up still thinking of youthinking of youthis is my outletz

Take Them

Take Them

Take these lies off my chest

Let me bleed from the gaping holes

No need to stitch me back up

These fallacy filled temptations

My main attraction

Hiding my true neuroticism

Telling the world stories

Of oh how amazing I am

How gorgeous

Such a demanding presence

Such an alluring sham

How dare I not live up to the expectations

Of a gorgeous woman 

Li...

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body imageBreastsdepressionsexualization

I Can Be Good (Z)

With each and every prose I think of new things to outpour onto this page. Ideas and feelings flow through me, conflicting, and most of the time I am ok.

I've been sober since then; nothing helps this anymore. Every day starts out slow, in a haze, then I feel ok and content and myself for a few hours. Once noon rolls around, my heart hurts, my stomach turns, my head spins, and I leave class to ...

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adhdbipolardepressionlong distancelong distance lovelovepolyamorouspolyamorypsychpsychologyzach

Cast Aside

Cast Aside

A woman cries for now she knows

Her love is unconditional

Weeping at the empty kitchen table

One, two, three in the morning

None are awake but her

Right hand reaches out to air

She wails

“There was no choice to make!”

Yet she always knew, in some way

Either too much to handle

Or not enough

But always cast aside

 

Anger will not manifest

Her l...

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adhdarbitrarybipolarcast asidechancechoicescrydepressionheartheartbreakheartbrokenlate nightlovepolyamorouspolyamory

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