I’m not even angry at you

And I never was

Confused, yes

Hurt, yes

Frustrated, yes, but from confusion

I can’t be angry with you

Or at you

But I am angry

I’m angry that I put my best effort

That I tried so hard

I’m angry that this happened again

My best was not good enough

I’m angry that I ignored the signs

Such small flags

Warning me from the beginning

...

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Your Skype signed in again
It’s so tempting to call you
There’s a voice screaming at me to just
Pick up the phone
Just pick up the phone
Against every urge
I’m silent, all except these prose
I must stay silent
Must wait
Wait for what?
For the message, the text, the phone call
Another voice tells me
That will never happen
Selfishly, I want you to miss me
I want to make you miss me
Ma...

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Is there no hope of returning

Homesick

Relative happiness is nice

A ping in my brain

A twinge in my heart

These pulses of ice in my veins

Never want to stop

Every moment distracted

You're there

Crying

Please, please don't cry

Every attempt to want to understand

You help

Another wall is slammed down between us 

Please don't push me away

I can be goo...

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Cast Aside

A woman cries for now she knows

Her love is unconditional

Weeping at the empty kitchen table

One, two, three in the morning

None are awake but her

Right hand reaches out to air

She wails

“There was no choice to make!”

Yet she always knew, in some way

Either too much to handle

Or not enough

But always cast aside

Anger will not manifest

Her l...

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I'm Terrified

I’m scared that this is who I will be from now on

I’m afraid of what I might become

I’m scared that I’ll never have a healthy relationship

I’m afraid of losing everything again

I’m scared that any person who comes close to me will hurt me

I’m afraid of being isolated

I’m scared that I may be better off alone

I’m afraid of these thoughts racing

I’m scared th...

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Home

Keep finding bits and pieces of

Myself strewn across my mind

Only to be blown away again

And what little pieces I have left

Shake and shiver in fear.

Knowing the horizon has better days

I strive onward, searching

There will always be a place

Not a hole, but a safe space

In my heart

For you to rest your head awhile

And know that I will always love you.

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