Santa felt sassy and seasoned

Having switched from soda to whiskey

Stirred and slurred, his vision was blurred

Sleigh-driving was stupidly risky

Sloshing around but still seated

Strapped in, seemingly quite self-assured

Whilst swerving through Nice, he saluted the police

Whose chopper was wisely insured

Donna and Blitzen were startled

Dancer and Prancer were ma...

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Dean Martin, you say?

Well, yes I see why

With the silk in his voice

And the glint in his eye

A boxer, a crooner

With satire and skits

A boozer, no loser

Wine, westerns and wit

But it's Williams for me

I admire the sheer range

The highs and the lows

The awesome, the strange

The pain and the ego

The bad-boy style grin

A writer, a fighter

W...

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Far too clever for his own good

Deceitful and quite crafty

He got up to stuff that no king should

In fact, he got plain nasty

Killing folk and cheating death

Is not proper or obedient 

Thus when it came to his last breath

Zeus couldn’t be less lenient

Forced to push a boulder up a hill

But never reach the top

Could make a chap feel queasy-ill

If not allow...

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There are those who call me mean

And lacking in panache

But I'm ever hungry, somewhat keen

And always short of cash

Scavenging and working hard

That's really not my deal

I thought that I was avant-garde

When choosing out that meal

Grandma was a kindly soul

Though I'd say 'rather sickly'

Thus, I ate her up and made her whole

Yet somehow come off 'prickly'

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I wonder if you can help me?
I have mislaid my train of thought
My mind wandered off without it
Now it’s lost without support

It arrived this morning brightly
At some ungodly hour
Then with some cheek, played hide and seek
‘til I stepped into the shower

I did my best to grasp it then
That was, of course, my hope
Yet my efforts yielded nothing
But fresh air and listless soap

I hu...

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Do I sense you quivering?
Do you know your end is nigh?
Is there peace in your last seconds?
Will you greet them with a sigh?

Do you sense my blade above you?
Are you prepared to feel each cut?
Were you hoping for some mercy?
Do you know that door is shut?

Do you get that I am smiling
as I decide which way to slice?
That your golden days are over
and now you have to pay the price?

...

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