Poetry Blogs (2018, fear)

Getting acquainted with the moon 
behind glass
we exchange so many glances
and on my back
a thousand heart-attacks roll past
My fingers beside, cross and uncross
as you sleep, so black
back in the real world
paid up entirely
on your subscription
to actual reality

O would you bring me a souvenir
from the envious depths of endless peace
perhaps a child or a patient nurse
or some cont...

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She says it again.

Silence.

Uncomfortable rustling.

All the things that

Haven't been dealt with

Exposed.

A moment of hope,

Something different,

Lost to fear.

-----

More of my deep short poems at https://www.unconventionalbeing.com/.

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Should the feelings of guilt

outweigh those of resentment?

Is the fear of loneliness

worth more than fear of rage?

Is it wrong to long for simplicity

and abandon the search for contentment?

Is it right to write words of anger

on a blank, unforgiving page?

Is it wise to seek solace in poetry

when every act of writing

is seen as an act of selfishness

that can ne...

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It burns again this time too deep

And in it the angry grows and steeps

It controls the mind and makes it worn

And with each corrosion of my sanity

With every severed sinew of logic

The fear churns into a thickening layer

That snaps back quicker

And harder 

And sharper

I want to let it go

To let the anger flow

Through my shoulders and down to my toes

To the groun...

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You and your trust issues

Me and mine

You have your fears

And your doubts

About me

And I have mine

But every time

We try to rationalize

And prove to each other

That the pieces don't fit

The sentences get left

Unfinished

Back and forth

Like whiplash

Seeing how far I'll go

Until I look back

Keeping me comfortable

At a distance

Have...

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Every moment to fear,

Forever holding back internal tears.

Life- so complicated,

forever indecisive.

The world too big, too scary,

my mind so full of queries.

Never certain, never happy,

each decision could be deadly.

An escapes impossible,

every outcomes implausible.

Sinking under water,

Always being taken for a martyr.

The pain runs so deep,

Barely able to ...

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Minds mould cannot always bend to the will - Look!

A blur of surreal reality:

it’s vivid, a memory, a means 

but travel through years 

and maybe it’s a dream,

or the worst fear:

(for the youth with infantile stretch marks to hear)

Forgotten.

For the youths with flat ironed flesh and barely dogmarked ears,

what we all fear

 is to forget.

Tell the boy with the newly ...

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Her hair covered

Her head down 

A baby in the push chair 

Not one familiar place around.

The shop girl served her,

Speaking loud and slow 

The lady understood 

What their was to know.

I sensed a patronising tone,

As the shop girl spoke 

The lady didn’t realise 

The condensation invoked.

The man with the tattoos

Stared and screwed up his face 

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The headlights from the oncoming vehicle
held the stunned animals in their grasp
The beams like a claw clasping around its prey
An unholy ray screaming silently into the night
Distant, but penetrating.
Approaching still closer,
terror in their hearts,
the vehicle turned off the road

And transformed into a rainbow
Dazzling colours and many forms.
Behold a crystal,
the prism of light br...

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I wonder of 100,
How much of you I've seen,
I've seen your 2 or 10 percent,
As you have seen of me.

I wonder if you'll trust me,
With 10 percent more you,
Say 20 percent total,
Ill give the same to you.

I wonder if my percent me
would be safe with you,
No reassurance? Give it back!
Lets keep it back at 2.

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I have recently read
That pain is the hardest
Situation a human can
Try to explain.

If that’s so,
Is fear considered 
To be pain?

Does pain have to
Be a broken bone?
A head ache?
A tight chest?
A burn?

Is pain not
The anxiety of waiting
For everything to fit?
Is pain not
The force of trying 
to piece together 
two completely different
puzzles to become one? 

I can never...

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Sadness follows the ends of my hands,

Gravel broken sideways. 

Finish the beginning to confirm the edges,

Shadows digging deeper.

The bridge built for the followers,

Leans forward,

Above that brittle and cold creek.

Water fills holes to drown the children,

Your gasps unending,

A quiet end on the side of relief and tranquility.

Following the bitter ...

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{Fear} 

The morning dew is

on my shoes the birds

are chirping and singing

their tunes as the

morning sun brightens

up the sky with warm

crisper air that made

you take a deep breath

into your lungs waiting

to exhale 

And 

I fear 

And as the birds goes

silent and the clouds

went a dark bluish gray

with the sun gone

behind t...

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On a summer night the window mutters a melancholy tone,

Soft fabric sinks down towards the ground,

The rain flutters the pedals of a delicate daffodil on the edge of the window sill.

I sit and wait,

Longing to the reflection of the moon on a puddle,

You wrap your arms around mine.

We dance in a meadow,

Your shoes sink into the loosened soil from years of rain before.

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The right type of music

like the right type of doctor

inside you, cutting you open

breaking you apart and

reassembling your thoughts like a puzzle.

Not another world, just another space

seclude yourself from the rest

stare at what you are in that mirror

if you break it, it doesn't matter

stare at all the disappointed faces staring back

feel their fear, and understand

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the sound of nails on skin

the ripping of those barriers

between whats in you and whats out

the sound of beats on your head

the swelling of self-hatred and humility

forced on yourself by yourself\

cry at the sight and more at the sound

be flushed with the shame\

knowing you're not good enough

look up at the sky at night

run by yourself in the dark

the outside is so...

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She cried  

We cried 

We screamed 

For her not to be lonely 

Screamed at the gods to spare her 

We would give ourselves but we weren’t good enough 

How to be good enough 

So that she could be spared 

Dear God, let her be spared

Down from the face of our hope, tears fell to sizzle upon surfaces of burning wood. Pained wails, felt by the people who reached out to take...

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When You’re not looking 

I want to die 

The things of my past just hurt me 

Do you know that I cry 

Oh you don’t have a clue 

I feel so low and vulnerable 

That’s what I hate the most 

My heart can’t take this manifestation 

Before it gets you too, go 

If my hands aren’t cold it doesn’t feel right 

When my hands are warm it doesn’t feel right 

So let em g...

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Please tell me if 

Please tell me now 

Have I suffered enough 

Have I fallen to the ground 

It feels like I’m falling still 

I’ve cried for help haven’t I 

Was I not that loud 

Do I even deserve the help 

Guess I’ll just shut my mouth 

I’m not okay 

Please just tell me I’m not 

Tell me 

It won’t be fine 

Admit that 

That’s alright 

I don’...

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Loves just a feeling 

It often changes 

It may go quick and crash 

Or keep you waiting 

It's a good high 

But the fall is pretty harsh 

I wouldn't want to get hurt 

I'm not too fond of goodbyes 

People say I haven't tried it 

And thus should with them 

For that I spew excuses 

And yet they still go at it 

I don't believe anything could ever last 

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All around me the fog dances 

I look on to see as it tests its chances 

Waiting for me to open the gate 

It waits 

I stare at it as it does the same 

I take a step closer it watches 

I take another 

It's eyes slightly bigger 

I stop 

I open my mouth to speak 

Nothing comes out 

The fog whispers do not 

I stay where I stand  

Not daring a step 

It's fingers...

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I have many scars

You can’t see in the light

Behind my smile

Is a world of pain

Constant battle

With myself

Whether it’s worth it

To try anymore

‘Cause in the dark

I introduced you

To every part of me

Showed you everything

When the sun came up

The truth came out

And without a doubt

I’m unloveable

Should’ve known

Never should’ve...

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You want to let it go
then let her go
she has her life
and it is quite clearly without you
...........for the time being

Are you frightened of becoming
like your mother?
Hated by the daughter?
Never speaking or giving her the time of day?

Then, I wish you well my dear
Fear is your teacher
and worry your god

I fear for you
and worry for your future
as you do not yet know
what i...

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Singular point of hope

balancing in one dimension

drive the stake deep, swing without reservations

for this is the beginning

doubled

       added vector

sure footing eyes

to the horizon

averted from the abyss below

another point right planar

temptations of rest

loss of balance still precarious

point added placed correctly

a broad base of stability?

po...

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{Shy Guy}

He was a little bit of

a shy guy who seemed

to keep to himself

besides talking to a

few of his co-workers

where he worked at 

And as the neighbor

next door to him saw

him all the time he

reminded her of a

cute fuzzy bear that

played in stars wars

called ewok because

his cheeks was

roundish oval shaped

with a some hair ar...

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Intense thick clouds obscuring vision,
Pre planned malice yet no thought given,
A mess of unplaced thoughts surround
Logic whispers but i wont listen

The calm that follows leaves air so thick
A lack of focus a clearing mist
A wind that blows me from where i came
And ignorance is mine again

Exhausting though this place may be
This clouded space is part of me
To leave i need a place of pea...

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