People often say that God is merciful.

Then why is it that every night, every day, every waking hour of mine, 

I keep reciting the same prayer?

‘Have mercy, my Lord, and put this subject of yours out of their misery’.

If God is so merciful, then why is it that I still find myself breathing?

Exhaling every breath, hoping this one will be my last.

Why is it that I find myself all t...

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I was once a dancing flame but I forgot how to dance so I mimicked others until one day... pft.

I am unable to see myself burning out untill I spit, clinging to the bitter end of the wick.

At first, I am a soldier, fighting because I know the end is coming.

At the end is a void. Nothing in it and nothing can fill it. Nothing matters.

DESPERATION. Pouring everything and anything into th...

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One Day

On no day in particular

You arose with ease renewed

The dark veil had lifted from your mind 

Pulled softly like so many cob webs 

Suddenly the rain stopped pouring so heavily and turned to a comforting drizzle kissed with a warm breeze

The sun no longer bore down so hatefully 

Instead gently caressed your face soothing 

And existence seemed to lean in and whisper, "...

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Hello again Mr. Ink,

It's been a long time and I'm kinda glad.

Everytime you come around is because things are bad.

I havn't felt the need to have you in my life.

But lately...

That desire has been back.

The need to write my feelings down. 

The need to cry as I type..

Funny how back then I worte with pen and paper with my tears runing down. 

Look at me now..

All grown...

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I'm cursed.

Imprisoned inside my own head.

Endless loops of excessive or inadequate.

The overwhelming depth of darkness poisons me;

And I'm consumed by voices that scream for release;

the intoxicating craving for peace.

Until I overdose on overthinking,

Yet so tortured by this terrifying emptiness,

That I am just too numb to fear that fear.

I am simply a shell of a girl ...

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I'm defenceless, powerless.

Constrained, by uncontrolled emotions,

To this rollercoaster: up, down, up, down.

Desperate screams silenced in smothering shame.

I didn't consent to this ride,

So why won't you let me get off?

Sadness is suicide;

Anger is murder,

Happiness is euphoric,

And normal? Normal is northing.

And nothing being an insufferable emptiness,

That hol...

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I'm sat at the cliff,

Black clouds hold threat over me;

Fog that smothers my vision;

Obscures my perceptions.

Deafened by the dark waves,

Crushing and punishing the soft clay.

My desperate screams mimicked and echoed;

By winds that wrap me up,

Trap me in this silent storm,

I'll squint through the shadows,

Search for the sun they all bathe in.

But my fingernails fil...

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I seek myself

Fighting demons in my head

I fight a battle daily in my head

These voices in me try to bring me down

Saying I'm not good enough

My chest aches

As though a stone presses on me

My lungs gasp with stifling air

Feeling short of breath

I suffocate with my head barely above water

As much I may try to avoid it

It always finds me in the quiet

Robbing me of...

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it's taking over me

i am my own worst enemy

i am hopelessly lost in my own head

my words are so hollow and dead

hands over mouths

hands aroundyour neck as the gasps become howls

you are so cold and alone

you can search but you will never seek your home

crawl right into my face

its such a dead empty place

crawl right out from the inside

forced out by a sou...

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Nobody knows me,

Not even myself

I meet people everyday

I talk , I laugh , I smile

Others say that I lie.

I’m complicated, orphic

 hard to understand

Just like the way we don’t know                                                                                                                      what happens in between the oceans.                         

I’m an...

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She was trying

Trying to be calm

Trying to mute the

Monologue inside her mind.

Full of contradictions to herself,

Full of arguments

Full of endless thoughts

She felt like being pulled

In a spiral

Down and down and down

With each breath she took

Swallowing her own soul

As if she split up

Into two halves

Halves against each other

She was he...

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What would I wish for, if given the chance?
For a start, I'd wish I could dance
Wish I could learn without having to repeat
Wish I could earn my depression's defeat
Wish I could do all the things I want to do
Wish I could prove the love I have for you
Wish I could act on all these wishes
Wish I didn't have to do the dishes
Wish I could be the person you need
Wish I could resist the sin of...

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