Poetry Blogs (2016, anxiety)
A brain that’s been tapped and tinkered is suddenly transformed.
A soul that’s been prodded and pulled is carefully put back in its place.
Thoughts have been dusted and polished and put away in their boxes.
A gut that been untangled, unknotted, instead now tied in a bow.
But then the scars to the brain have split.
The crack in its box is on display.
A scratch to the soul wan...
Wednesday 30th November 2016 2:43 pm
It is the assumption that people tend to reflect and contemplate in the dawn of the night
When noones awake to hear the sorrow in your sobs
When it's too dark to see the weakness in your eyes
And your lonliness enables your imprisoned vulnerability to surface
But what happens when this negativity suddenly seep its way into the happenings of your everyday life
When these mor...
Wednesday 16th November 2016 8:36 pm
I'm lying awake at 3am
Why am I never intoxicated with positivity?
Why aren't I a fountain of enthusiasm?
Why can't I see the euphemistic light in this unilluminated darkness?
I'm lying awake at 3am
All of my uncertainties are overwhelming
The formidable anxiety I've become acclimated with seeps in through open wounds
And yet I've learned to find tranquility in this res...
Wednesday 2nd November 2016 8:04 pm
This one comes from some older stuff of mine, written whilst dealing with what i didnt realise was a depression / anxiety disorder at the time. Thankfully now its under control, but reading this back makes me remeber just how black things were back then.
Darkness; continuous, deep, perpetual darkness.
Constant. Soulless. Empty dark space.
It laps at the edges, frayed edges of my c...
Saturday 15th October 2016 11:56 am
I used to think writing was an escape,
But i now realize that it has never been anything more than a device to feed into every word that I use to bring the emotional drain that is my heart and mind to a story between the paper and ink.
It seems that the lights flickering above me have more meaning,
At the age of seven, I was told the truth as to where my father was and why i never hear...
Saturday 6th August 2016 11:24 am
Unbroken stares into the cracks of my ceiling,
I stare at every single imperfection as if they were calling out my name,
Perhaps it resembled a metaphor of my negligence to cope,
I am but a mold composed through the mind of depression,
I am empty and I am broken,
Perhaps I'll stroll to the pond and hope the gray clouds part,
I'll continue to sip the sorrow i...
Monday 25th July 2016 6:21 am
Fetch the scissors
Bring the knife too
I've found something
for me to do
Watch the blood drip
Make a red puddle
They all seem to judge
Without knowing the struggle
If they can all hurt me
I can hurt me too
I feel like I deserve it anyway,
That's why I do what I do
That's what they label me
But they don't know
What I have to see
Monday 25th July 2016 5:44 am
Writing gives me the power to express how I am feeling without actually having to say,
I have a pen, paper and 24 hours in a day.
Although I keep my silence, I can still let it all out
I could talk about the blood, sweat and tears but they're all visible signs.
The things I need to talk about are all in my mind.
I find it so difficult to trust family and friends
but have no prob...
Saturday 23rd July 2016 4:59 pm
I've reached my goal weight
I think to myself
But don't ask how I did it
You don't want to know
That depression and anxiety
Is causing my body to change
That trips to the gym
Are only to get through the mundane
Don't tell me I look good
Because deep down inside
Looks don't really matter
When your life is full of pain
Sunday 19th June 2016 2:12 pm
The calm that I seek,
Still blue sea,
Anxious waves that crash over me,
Making me hardy to future attack,
The peace that I seek is setting me back
Maybe it doesn't exist?
Maybe that is where my peace lies?
In accepting that it can't be sought?
Is it already here?
Wednesday 1st June 2016 11:35 pm
going from one terminal to
another terminal like a zip of current
the electricity is in the air
and it feels terminal like the death of me
a suspension of disbelief
and can this be real?
The sky is a pocket of trust
a slipstream, a dream
as I watch the backs of heads
thinking forward motion or not at all
and the outside is looking in
through bulging eyes...
Wednesday 25th May 2016 10:34 pm
5th grade was my downfall
Anxiety coupled with A.D.D
Made for the perfect broken marriage.
6th grade was calm.
I had everything under control
And I was taking medication
But 7th grade was morbid.
One only the devil could produce,
Had arrived with the diseased name
8th grade was the year Depression made friends
Wednesday 13th April 2016 4:30 pm
Every morning indecisive and overwhelmed
Who should I sit by?
The question is,
Who would want to sit by you?
I mean, No one wants to,
And you know it.
That's not true.
I've got plenty of people who wouldn't mind me.
There’s the girl I sit next to in class
And we talk from time to time.
Oh, and don't forget the boy who waves hi to me i...
Thursday 7th April 2016 3:27 pm
Who am I?
Who are you?
Who are we?
I don't know who I am.
I don't know who you are.
I don't know who we are.
Am I me?
Am I you?
Am I we, us, them?
Too many thoughts whirling in my mind.
Infections of madness consuming me.
I thought I knew who I was.
Thursday 7th April 2016 3:19 pm