Lies L & R
Get your lies in first my friend,
get your lies in first,
and if lies can't be found
know that half-truths will do.
So get your lies in first,
time to whip up the sheep
who eat up the lies,
the dim-witted fools.
Give oxygen to your lies.
Spread the word, anon, 'X',
and that heady mixture
will fan the flames of unrest.
Good lies take time to refute...
Wednesday 28th August 2024 9:36 pm
Kier
Kier
I bumped into a bloke in the Gents the other day'
Looked just like Kier Starmer,
If it's not him, I thought, I'll eat my cap.
I wanted him to hear
What life is like for us, the hoi polloi,
I said “Hey’up Kier,
Can I call you Kier?
It is you isn't it Kier?
I've seen you on the telly!”
But answer came there none. Silence.
I was pretty sure it...
Monday 23rd October 2023 9:46 am
Ebenezer
My name is Ebenezer
And this tale I bring to you
Gives an insight into living
From a killjoy's point of view
Before I start my Yuletide rant
A word of explanation.
Christmas is a drag to me
No cause for jubilation.
It comes around but once a year
Yet seems to last forever
I'm happy when it's been and gone
And it return? Well? NEVER!
Mistletoe and ...
Monday 5th December 2022 9:34 pm
The Last of the Mohicans
Closely based on an actual Lockdown haircut experience
Salt and peppered Caledonian,
Wanderer now set to stay,
Coupled with a native lassie,
Living close by Rossie Brae.
She it is maintains his hairstyle
During these Corona days.
She it is who wields the blade
That shapes wee Baz in many ways.
His preference was a simple cut
“Perhaps a little off the t...
Monday 27th July 2020 9:24 am
Dave - The Return
I bumped into David Kameroon the other day.
I wanted him to hear
What it was like in the real world, after that Referendum farce.
I said “Hey’up Dave,
Can I call you Dave?
I mean, what the flippin’ heck Dave?
You really let it slip Dave.”
I said “Dave - Dave,
The country’s in an awful state.
I doubt that you can contemplate
The shambles me and mine are in.
...Thursday 14th March 2019 10:05 am
Last Night
Early evening news
BBC
And I’m shouting at the TV
Labour 7 - when’s the fight?
Honda - final worker, switch off the light
ISIS lady - seems contrite?
John McDonnell - gritted teeth. So polite.
Len McLuskey (from Unite) - Really Len! Unite?
BMI - with its final flight
Jezz and Tessa - out of sight!
And the wife says
“What’s wrong with you?
All you’ve d...
Tuesday 19th February 2019 8:55 am
Rhyme?
You’re too old to live
And you’re too young to die
Lengthy the queue
Of folk who say why
You can’t just lie down
There’s too much to do
A new life’s beginning
You must see it through.
So that’s it!
You start, on the darkest of days,
To put pen to paper,
To silence the pain
In search of catharsis
And much of what leaks out may be drivel,
And ...
Tuesday 5th February 2019 8:18 am
House of Fun
Parliament’s back from its jollies,
And the Speakers are back in their chair.
How grand it would be sans comedians
With their japes and their pranks! I despair!
I’ll be home watching BBC Parliament live ...
Monday 7th January 2019 8:09 am
1842
Once upon all time,
In a land not far far away,
Lords and Ladies,
East and West,
North and South,
Taught to succeed
In the name of their Gods,
Sustained
By the fat of the land,
Stripped
By constant streams
Of paters and maters;
Constant streams
Of daughters and sons,
North and South;
Taught to obey
By master and God.
Mules in human form,
Ankle-...
Friday 4th January 2019 10:42 am
Brexit TV
Parliament’s off on its jollies,
The Speaker removed from his chair.
Oh how I will miss these comedians
But their break’s far too short, so beware.
So what will I do with no Brexit TV?
No Commoners standing to bleat.
Will BBC Parliament go off the air,
Or fill my spare time with repeats?
I wish I could say that I’m better informed
By listening in to the House.
...Friday 21st December 2018 5:21 pm
Definition - Confused
As a child,
I belonged.
Part of a simply defined community,
in a world I understood
but comprehend no more.
I’m told life moves on,
but somehow I’m left behind.
I no longer see the picture
or know how to play the game.
Some say I’m a dinosaur.
Others? A threatened minority.
‘White, male, heterosexual, atheist, pensioner’
A potential self-classifyi...
Wednesday 19th December 2018 10:07 am
Progress
Our town was well ordered, we knew where we stood
We knew what was bad, and were told what was good
The Baddies wore black, and we Goodies wore white
Never a doubt as to who’d win the fight
The Clergy were pristine; whilst Doctors were Gods!
Our Bobbies were BOBBIES, not ‘FiveO’ or ‘plod’
Whilst bosses in banks saw themselves as elite,
(Not deigning to deal with the man i...
Sunday 1st October 2017 12:21 pm
Report
My old school reports I’d thought buried away
Have been found at the back of a drawer
Reading the comments my teachers had left
Have shaken me right to the core
So many terms, and all uninspiring,
“Could do much better” or “can’t quite engage.”
A stockpile of phrases adapted to suit.
With vitriol etched on each page.
There was rarely a glowing appraisal
More co...
Wednesday 6th September 2017 12:10 pm
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