life was never difficult for me, not in theory, not really.

i made it difficult, 

no one will help me find any sort of source for this pain.

my life was always sweet and kind.

so i dont really understand where the thorns grew,

or how they managed to find me.

my mum told me that sometimes babies born from C-sections turn out different, 

because they dont get the nutrients they need from the birth canal.

i think maybe i have forced myself away from the things i need to live a good life. 

i can't figure out whether the ache came before the pain.

my life was perfect. is perfect. i am ruined.