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2022 for a 20 year old

the new year rolls in and ive learned so much and so little all at once. 

so much about myself, and so little of how to deal with it.

i know now that i can be kissed, and liked, and loved.

but now it hurts all the more that im not.

knowing i have the capacity for it, and not recieving it, 

having it hang out of reach. kills me, it kills.

i know when to stop, and how long to stop for. 

i control myself easier, 

but im malliable and pliable and i let others mould me.

where i used to rage, my defiance and my passion leading me to a hill and laying me to rest upon it.

i now sink.

into my thoughts, into my films, into my inner world. 

i never used to be a daydreamer, i was always a fidgety rousy child.

while i find myself easier to love, i also find myself softer. 

i wish i was still hard, i never wanted to lose my difficultness.

i wish i had stayed stubborn.



◄ girl like me

2023 ►


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