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once

once in late day /

i let myself go / 

i laid on your heavy chest / 

felt my heart beat in the air / 

i wished you never fade /

once in early summer /

the nights became less and more lonely / 

i opened my locked soul / 

yearned for you to take me / 

and the silence of reason /

gently invited me in / 

once in a warm darkness /

the only light was you / 

you slow...

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you, again

I guess i always find ways to feel tears on my cheeks. But i shouldn't. I find ways to be sad, to hate myself. But then you take me in your arms and suddenly, despite all the pain from before, i feel at peace and i know i love you more than i have ever loved anything, i know i love all the parts of you and i am ready to love you more and more with each passing day. You take me in your arms and i k...

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a bird chirps

Was i ever not lonely and not hungry for a lovely touch of a soft hand, did i not expect you would one day come through the tunel and wave in my direction like a lost traveller, how was it not obvious on my child-like face that something bad is coming, something that will push a sword directly through my brain, make it bleed like a psychopath's victim, put in dirt, all swollen around the eyes, was...

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women contain multitudes

She climbs the ruins 

Of the same old city

Where not a single heartbeat

Has been found

In the time running out. 

 

I let loose and rise upon

The sacred fields

Where the feral moon 

Howls in the

Morning mists. 

 

For a brief eclipse

Of two women

One shines brighter 

One lurks in the shadows -

Beyond this terrible earth.

 

Dirt crumbles 

From ...

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for you and your girl

 

She wears you like old perfume,

Like a dog bite that does not go away,

She does not want to let go of your torn hand - 

 

I reek of naivety,

Like old summer bruises, 

Who is your girl? 

 

I still feel you - 

I whisper,

Like a bad disease,

Bad disease,

Bad disease. 

 

Burn the proof of our love - 

I beg,

Once again,

On my knees,

Bruised,

...

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women move mountains

women always give more in the end. ready to move mountains for those they love. since the day they learned how to speak, they only use their words to nurture. they walk to come to you when you need them most and they use their hands to create a new road, if needed. women always give more in the end. i moved countries for the man i love, barely legal and already making money in the north instead of...

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fearless

i am fearless. 

when i was 19 years old i moved to another country, alone, to search for love. and he calls and tells me what i have lost is nothing compared to what he has lost.

i am sitting in my new room, tears washing away the pain (or at least the dirt on my face) and he only thinks about the past. this room has felt a lot of love, but not even one part of it came from me. i am alone. l...

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maybe i bloomed

i remember your sticky desire and i remember her disgust. in her eyes i was eve or lilith or whichever witch burnt. and you, my love, you were the holy spirit in god's eyes. the guilt you carry in your chest, you proclaim as your god. she carries on, deep inside, hidden, sometimes she awakes, deep in the night and she screams her lungs out. did you ever see lungs on the outside of a body? 

in h...

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orchids

orchids.

pink and blue.

violent. 

count them on my arms,

count them on my belly,

count them in my heart.

orchids. 

i swallowed all the pain. 

do you think i will ever see without tears?

violet marks on foreign skin,

skin that i call mine -

yet the soul is not inside. 

orchids. 

pink is the colour of girls 

and the skin turned blue with a touch of a man.

...

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Toi

The way he holds the neck - there is a woman underneath his fingertips. He tocuhes her like the soil that was left to be discovered from ancient women - he slides on the skin soflty, like he is holding a souvenir - perhaps he is - oh, he loves, he loves how she rests and sways under his eyes , under all the layers of his own skin - and how he plays with her! There is a girl underneath his fingerti...

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sweet lovin' in morocco

V Maroku se bova ljubila na vročem pesku / sanjam te že od prejšnjič / pojavil si se, prepleten v mojih laseh / če te nisem čutila takrat, te zdaj čutim povsod / prekosaš vsak spomin /

 

In Marocco we will make love on the hot sand /i dream of you since before / you appeared, intertwined in my hair / if i didn't feel you then, i now feel you everywhere / you outdo every memory

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7.february 2019

It’s one of the sunny days in winter, i can feel spring coming back. Spring will come back. I tell myself that like a lunatic. Watch my reflection in the mirror, trying to catch the sun rays. Spring will come back. So will summer. I wish i could fix my past. I wish i could fix myself, somehow. I don’t know how to use the tools. I was never good with tools. Usually broke them before i could fix a b...

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začetek / the beginning

Na začetku sem se spraševala, kako ovrednotiti besede in občutke, v tej sivini sem vsako solzo odpisala stran, kot nepomemben člen v enačbi, kot kamenček na makadamski cesti v stari vasi, ni pomembno. Nič več ni pomembno, ker si ne zaslužim čutiti, ker sem spoznala, da si ne zaslužim biti človek, da človek sploh nisem, da krutost ni človeška, ne do sebe – do drugih pa še manj.

Ponoči sem se zna...

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englishsloveniantranslation

1

V prikritem trepetanju,

Da sem edina,

Medtem te ljubim

Bolj in bolj,

Čakam, da bo spet čisto,

V solzavem obupu

Ti rišem po koži –

Skrit dotik predanosti,

Tu sem,

Vzemi me celo,

Dala ti bom vse,

Brez pomisleka,

Brez druge misli,

Položi me na trnje,

Potoži spet o tem,

da te je tako neznansko strah,

Se bom še zadnjič potopila v spomin.

 

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slovene poetry

4.10.2018

I will take her sorrows to my grave,

I let her grow into me,

Much more than i let him.

Saw her walk on glass

So she could be saved

Sometimes i feel her bones cracking

Between us,

Like an undeniable pressure

She steps on my chest

And it all happens only

Within my body;

Love does not exist above you,

Love is crawling in the cracked bones,

And her sorrows are po...

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