Журналы Клубок on Sreyashi Choudhury
1 hour ago
say it was in the stars,
something supernatural led me to you.
say it was the moon
pulling my tides closer to you.
it’s something deeper
than a mere connection.
it’s something in the waiting
& it grows with our knowing.
you can’t put your finger on it.
there’s something there.
some call it ‘love’
but it digs in so much further.
it’s in our details...
Thursday 31st December 2020 2:45 am
He looks to the left, a quick pause to check the commotion.
There’s shouting crying out on the street. Stomping boots,
signs in hand. It’s another day, another protest, nothing to
worry over. She questions him, “What’s happening?” It
could be anything or nothing at all. They want attention
and this is the day they chose to be seen.
“You should go, I know I would if I could.” She embr...
Friday 11th December 2020 3:01 pm
Have You Noticed?
after Mary Oliver
have you noticed how certain poems linger
in the echoes of yesterday
how certain triggers replay
a certain phrase
how hanging onto words
engulfs an empty room
how walking through fields
begets velvet moonlit nights listening to you
how spinning a record after dropping a needle
births a mountain of longing and sorrow
have you ever notic...
Monday 7th December 2020 4:21 am
I twist in the night, in anger.
I wake in the morning, in anger.
I know the dreams are just dreams
but the aching is tangible,
it’s at the forefront that I can’t shake.
It’s too early to feel this way, with holes punctured through the heart.
A feeling that I’ve been used as target practice.
Congratulations, you’ve won…
You’ve robbed me yet again from waking with the deli...
Wednesday 2nd December 2020 4:18 am
he says as it relates
to a date
of another first
It reminds me of things
I shouldn’t hold onto.
It shouldn’t matter
when I first noticed
the way light hits his beard,
or how his colors blend
as in a Monet,
only that I see them.
It shouldn’t matter
when those butterflies first flew
from our insides;
only that they fly every time.
It shouldn’t matte...
Saturday 28th November 2020 12:21 am
I mull over the quietness,
the licking of thoughts
collected and trapped inside,
Only things that escape
are the redirects,
anything to take the focus
off of what can’t be seen.
They’ll have to perform surgery
to get this out of me.
Wednesday 25th November 2020 3:11 pm
The way grey hits the wooly fibers across his chin,
like individual spikes of a wheel
poking in multiple directions,
with fusing colors like a Monet.
I graze my fingers through the fibers
like walking through cornfields
with long and mysterious paths that
lead to depths I long to uncover.
He rests his hands upon his cheek,
pondering his next move
Tuesday 17th November 2020 7:26 pm
tears fall from the tips of leaves,
no longer heaving but finally at peace,
no longer a place for relief,
no longer bending to the constant breeze,
no longer kept afloat meandering rivers,
no longer subject to raging fires,
no longer a victim to defeat.
tides no longer pulling at the heart,
stars no longer hovering above,
no longer tormented to be part of the world
Tuesday 10th November 2020 2:07 am
in the blaze of the summer heat, drips
of sweat rippled down our smooth skin backs.
we set out for adventure along the Pacific coast,
the four of us squeezed in a compact sedan.
sisters laughing, shouting, nowhere else to be.
engaging winding hair-pin turns, honking,
speeding, and slamming on the brakes
as the afternoon sun scorched the town.
we reveled ...
Tuesday 3rd November 2020 5:42 pm
the voice comes to me
as a phantom in a dream.
as i write
the voice channels
from him to me.
to staring at the sea,
to the house
that no longer carries
his childhood dreams.
vacanies searching for occupation
from passing through stations
to platforms holding onto memories,
all of it comes to me.
in my internal screenplay,
is he the playwright...
Thursday 29th October 2020 4:21 pm
they will never know the stillness,
the silence, as the world hushes
when the first snowflakes drop out of the sky.
they will never feel the crisp air
or see white blanket the fields
as it does every year.
safe and warm,
where humidity breathes,
where mist showers from above,
and crawling critters burrow,
where life continues.
Friday 23rd October 2020 3:49 pm
summer days filled
with dragonfly dreams
our love, like beach vacationers
deep in the night
what summer love has done
in this jaded seaside town
after the blazing sun has gone down
nothing remains but tumultuous sea sounds
like a discarded napkin
left by a shattered dish,
love was swept away with the rubbish
Tuesday 20th October 2020 4:15 pm
you think you know a guy
years, months, weeks,
day in and day out
how things were left unsaid
how we chose or chose not to be
how we hide behind the way we speak
how we say or don’t say
the things we mean
you think you know a guy
and suddenly he’s a stranger
you never knew his thoughts,
never knew the things he’s done,
Monday 12th October 2020 4:15 am
Every Autumn fills
with browns and reds,
yellows and oranges;
and a steady wind
blowing through trees.
candy corn, and costume trials
as little ones prepare
for changes in the air.
Days lead up to celebrating
another trip around the sun,
yet this season is another reminder
of all those years ago
when we lost you.
Years collect dust ri...
Friday 9th October 2020 5:09 am
When I think of Carlos,
a beautiful soul of a man,
emotional, heartfelt poetry bleeds through
Tears creep on the brink of every reading
His hand held over his heart to keep it in
He makes a mark wherever he goes
The rhythm of his words flow
And it leaves you speechless
All you can mouth is ‘wow…’
Pondering over poems to capture what I believe in
A work of art always in progre...
Monday 5th October 2020 1:52 am
it’s been three days
with clear blue skies
i stand in disbelief;
there’s nothing to obstruct the view
nothing to prevent the light from coming through
so why do i feel at unease?
because even now, the skies are just a tease
Thursday 1st October 2020 6:05 pm
The heart stops,
and fear attacks
tearing and scraping the insides.
Stepping back, it’s not the right time.
It’s too delicate; my hands are tied.
I stall. I ruminate. I do all the things not to destroy this.
I dread that I will, gravely… to the point of not moving.
This is what it’s like when people become a ghost.
It’s too much to go forward.
So, I turn
in the opposite...
Saturday 26th September 2020 5:26 am
the approval has been granted,
the lift of the travel ban,
the ticket longed for is now in hand
three days scheduled
in glorious summer heat
with a lover’s heart in waiting
greeted at the airport
a loving embrace
and staring deep into each other’s face
before a long evening at an outdoor cafe
between smiles exchanged
we smooth out spaces
between places that haven’t
Thursday 24th September 2020 6:00 pm
What I thought I had lost,
a love that would never return,
now fulfills distant dreams-
an unanticipated ecstasy.
But while caught in the midst of it,
how is it that I still think of you?
The one who got so close but still so far away,
the one who buried me deep,
with a voice on repeat,
I can’t seem to make that voice,
or those words, go away.
How is it t...
Friday 18th September 2020 5:33 am
Originally published in Clay Literary’s RAVEN: https://www.clayliterary.com/post/raven-issue-seven-08-30-2020
eyes squeeze shut all at once with
wishes whispered under breaths to be
anywhere else, anywhere cooler than
the constant heatwave of near 100 degrees.
Toes dip into makeshift sandy beaches
along the city’s river while children
play in water fountains next to erected sand...
Wednesday 16th September 2020 1:24 pm
Originally published in Clay Literary’s RAVEN:https://www.clayliterary.com/post/raven-issue-eight-09-06-2020
A cool October evening presented itself in front of us,
the full moon in the sky hovered above, and the tension
between us lent itself to lyrics that resonated to every
following Autumn. ‘Can I just have one more Moondance
with you, my love?’ you sang as we walked arm in arm. I...
Sunday 13th September 2020 10:48 pm
Fields of gold stretch far and wide
Hues of orange speckled with pinks and yellows
Underneath an open sky
You live here in the light
While I place shades upon the bridge of my nose
To block the blinding light
And live amongst the shadows
Sunday 13th September 2020 4:56 am
one step out the door
one step forward
one step closer
to the flood
one step backward
one step in reverse
one step away
a punch to the gut
and tears streaming,
more than the smiles
more than the ‘i love you’s
and how many more years like this
how much can i take like this
i agreed to ever after
but this now, these lows
i can do without
i barely survive the cr...
Saturday 12th September 2020 1:08 am
rip out my insides,
pull out the intestines
from the gut punches bruised,
the heart that heaves
and beats rapidly for thee,
the mind that overthinks
and runs ceaselessly over everything,
pull it all out,
it does nothing for me,
it only runs for you.
my hands were made to hold only you
my arms were made to embrace you
my legs were made to wrap around you
Thursday 10th September 2020 1:37 am
I wish it didn’t sting
when rejection tears apart
what I’ve poured my heart into,
hidden emotions or fragments thereof
painting scenes that tiptoe quietly
or outright screams.
I wish it didn’t sting
when he doesn’t think much of me,
but rather holds a love
kept at a distance that silently breaks
both of us apart.
I wish it didn’t sting
Thursday 27th August 2020 5:21 pm
emitting from within and all around,
complementary yet opposing
reaching higher into the stratosphere,
returning one by one
striking through bone & marrow
which ones do I block out?
which ones do I hold onto?
which ones do I let fall to the ground?
I pick one up in my hand,
hold it close to my ear
as a shell echoes the sea
& let it whisper all its truth...
Wednesday 26th August 2020 11:47 pm
soft rolling waves
brushing the shoreline
come hurling. warmth
that used to make
your blood boil makes you
from all that you
have felt and long to
feel. digging deep
into the sand
to push it away,
this was not part of
the plan; moving
to the city
to be part of the
scene, only to
find you’re constantly
Tuesday 25th August 2020 8:12 pm
sprouting from the underground,
reaching for the light,
messengers of truth
tell us the news
awaken us now,
emboldened by our own worth,
timepieces have reversed
our covert existence,
like buried keepsakes
begged for air,
pained to be bare
spotlight moments in
Hollywood movies; as we weep,
the only wa...
Sunday 23rd August 2020 10:11 pm
Heatwaves radiating across the country,
common occurrences every summer
now occurring every season.
Summer stretches long into Fall,
makes a cameo during Winter
And begins earlier every Spring.
It’s a heatwave, they say.
No, it’s global warming.
No, it’s now called climate change, haven’t you heard?
No, that’s all fake news.
It’s only a heatwave, you see....
Friday 21st August 2020 4:46 pm
As originally published with Clay Literary's Raven: https://www.clayliterary.com/post/design-a-stunning-blog
‘Neath the blistering heat, California poppies cast
themselves to the hillside sun as wayward children
start to lose their breath, as you now fight for yours,
running to chase the summer blues away.
The young and old all begin to fail; heatwaves
take the lun...
Thursday 20th August 2020 7:50 pm
sing me a song at every chance,
with every glance
capture me with your smile,
make the lyrics repeat in my head,
let your tone send shivers through me,
and when I hear the first notes,
let that song send me back to you.
Thursday 20th August 2020 2:06 am
It’s a walking numbness, a dull pain
that sometimes presents itself in waves.
It slowly builds, and one day, every few weeks it explodes.
I can’t bring myself out of bed.
The rolling tears subside for a moment only to build again and again.
The world outside, and the family inside, doesn’t exist, only what’s happening right here.
Only this pillow, only this blanket, only the thoughts ...
Friday 14th August 2020 1:49 pm
peel back the layers when
you shared the process to the end result,
you let me in and i mistook the meaning
of a subtle sign that you let me in to a sacred space,
seeing what makes you tick.
a subtle hand holding
but my dizzy head was lost in lust.
what else could i trust, but we became
kindred spirits longing, connecting, becoming.
walk me back through your streets, your hid...
Thursday 13th August 2020 1:10 pm
sew my eyes shut
tape my mouth closed
board me up in a box
& send me off
attach the postage
drop me off
at the post
until i see you there
and i hear you say ‘my love’
and i feel you
next to my warm skin
until then, leave me here
Tuesday 11th August 2020 9:21 pm
your hands, your kiss
I have been held and kissed before
but nothing like this
what is it about your hands, your kiss
that makes me believe
that nothing compares to this
I could see into others’ eyes
I could hold someone else’s hands
but I don’t feel their soul like you feel mine
Sunday 2nd August 2020 10:35 pm
i started to question the connection
& couldn’t breathe
images mix up in a daydream
that replay constantly
sometimes a new image appears
did someone change the videotape?
these images and connections aren’t only in my head
but i fear this is only gravy,
a topping or an extra side
or just a dessert you fancy
it must be deeper
Sunday 2nd August 2020 4:45 am
before a sense of
breaking down waves of
to the heart & soul of:
Thursday 30th July 2020 2:55 pm
the pitter-patter of droplets upon my windowpane
blowing left & right
remind me of the storm we once created
now settled deep into my mind
oh, to get swept up in your storm
the intensity of your words
the passion brewing & spilling over
the constant wind whipping & striking
before the longest lull
most nights i now sit and wait
for your storm
Wednesday 29th July 2020 9:08 pm
Pick up a needle,
a red piece of thread,
eye the eye of the needle
slowly push it through
Tie a knot at one end
to make sure it knows where to stop
push the needle through the fabric
pull and tug at its end
In & out, and around again
stitch after stitch
just enough to tie the fabric together
just enough so nothing else gets through
Wednesday 29th July 2020 1:39 am
Shining brighter than the moon
Shining brighter than the sun
The north star in my sky
Directing me through every night
You paint colors in my mind,
Perfect nights of you and I
We were made for this
We were made for the night sky
Sunday 26th July 2020 2:24 am
My stomach starts to churn,
it’s been a while since I’ve heard from you
and your letter burns
with an aching that quickly forms swells
in the corner of my eye;
I know this feeling all too well.
My hand reaches for the source
of the pounding, yet I question myself:
Why did I stop this river from flowing?
Responses form that would never greet
your ears, and never leave my lips....
Thursday 23rd July 2020 2:10 pm
distant memories of
what we no longer are
as our former lives are out the door
how do we move on
and build a passage to tomorrow
when i look up to the skies
and only have the stars
to remind me
the best moments
are our yesterdays
Wednesday 22nd July 2020 4:29 pm
Out of the dark corners,
images of another time
creep into the forefront
of my mind.
Images of you and I
mix with the scenery.
Our bodies entwine
in front of me.
or seeping in,
blurring the focus
of what actually broke us.
our wanting to be held close,
I jump into the frame and breathe us in.
Wednesday 15th July 2020 11:05 pm
a convenient state
a safe distance
yet close enough
to keep warm
only in touch by one method:
revived to a slow pulse
by whispered words:
“It’s all real, just believe.
Stay with me.”
Tuesday 14th July 2020 12:27 am
doubles the crime
of a doubled life
just like the last time
I held you
I have you
but I don’t
I love you
but I don’t
I search for what I’m missing
in between our intense kissing
beautiful words that lift me up
stories with deeper meaning
culture, music, political issues
Friday 10th July 2020 9:07 pm
c h o k i n g . . .
on unfathomable words
only a hint
it's not enough, I deserve
more than this
there's been something
|between the lines|
as we watch
it's not enough, I deserve
more than this
Wednesday 8th July 2020 5:07 pm
to be seen
t h o u g h t s . . .
of you, us
trying to separate
that have been glued
for too long
Tuesday 7th July 2020 4:45 am
A misplaced comma,
an extra apostrophe,
page numbers missing;
a million little things to fix
that ought not to
take away the aura
of the piece but make me
stop and scream
to leave the reader in such a mess
when they should only
focus on the very best
Monday 6th July 2020 4:17 pm
How many times do we take the leap
Before we realize we’ve jumped in too deep
How many times do we stop to realize
We need to protect our insides
How many times does this heart have to break
This love, you too shall take
He was the one,
Healing the deepest scar,
The wound he created,
Only to tear it open again
As he twists the knife
Churning everything inside of me
Monday 6th July 2020 5:35 am