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My Dreams Shamlessly Inspire

My dreams shamelessly inspire,

My beauty shamelessly causes desire,

My truth causes exasperation

My kindness causes hesitation.


I never play the others’ roles,

I never sing the others’ songs.

Why should I sew up the others’ holes?

My mind only to me belongs.


I never play, I never pretend,

I am inspired by my love and live on the Land.

I fall in love agai...

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5:27 am

It is time to get up.


Shower – I use the woman’s fancy shampoo.

Toothpaste, lotion, brush; done – in the black hygiene bag.

The woman enters the bedroom to check on me, “You have everything?”

“Yes,” I say, “I think so; if I leave anything, you could send it to me?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Okay,” I say.  She walks to the kitchen and sits down softly with ...

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motherdaughtermissingadventurefamilylovelosscoming of ageletting go

The Lonely Willow

Willow’s over the river

A tear quietly drops

She is too tired to shiver,

I wasn’t born in a thicket.


No one is around here

No one to embrace…

Only the wind has found her.

Is she in such disgrace?


How hard it is for the willow

To stay here all alone,

Looking at the swallow,

Which all the trees know.


She has no one to talk with,

There is no one i...

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The Cathedral

Father told me, when i was young, that his mother told him ‘if you can fit pinky to thumb around your wrist you are too thin’. When I managed to grasp my arm half way up, pinky to my thumb, I saw success. It’s hard to see sadness when you are sick. Mother taught me forgiveness was not earnt, but expected. So, when you lied to me I knew what I was to do next.


         The cathedral was o...

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Claws of Love, Kiss of Death

Hand reach into my throat,

clawing their way to my heart.

Red blooms under their attention,

as they slither through this maze

of veins and vessels.

Slick hands grab ahold of my still heart,

squeezing it manually.

Once, twice, thrice,

a soothing rhythm in a space,

long devoid of music.

Yet, no amount of squeezing

is enough to make my heart start beating.

No amoun...

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I Lived and Believed in a Fairy Tale

They laugh at me because I live in tales,

And he plays with you and then he sails.

And I follow him without any fear.

He loves me and I can this love bear.

I love him truly and with all my heart,

I cannot stand to live apart.

I can withstand any difficult test,

And I promise God to be the best.

They laughed and said: He is not your dear.

It would be better if you had ...

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Face in the crowd

I pick your face out from the crowd 

And you're all I can see 

As we pretend to be strangers 

I waited the one hour train journey 

Hoping you would join me

But you never did 

We remained separated by a single carriage 

Little did I know you had far more in your arsenal to separate us

A Trident like deterrent 

How did it come to this?

Well actually I do know the answer...

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rollout window in the loft of a garden suite (06/10/2024)

a loft 
sweetly scented 
as the morning dew draws up
and out
lithe against valleys
hung low
loping chariots 

phantom fingers in grass 
long and sweetlike lovers waving 
in the wheat.  

it looks like rain again tonight
hues heavy on the bay 
but my heart will stay sated
thru the gold nestled in your eyelashes

and I stop breathing,  

hoping it can be forever

to w...

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aee iloveyou

Soul trickery

Two different souls

Two independent individuals

Two souls brought together

That were supposed to be equals


Two souls that found

Understanding on the other

Or that's what I though

Because I was only just fodder


I was happy to talk

I was happy to be me

I was happy for the future

That i wanted to see


I invested myself

In a possible relation


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The Lion Queen

I must go down to the sea again, to the Lion Man and his shack
To follow the Lion Queen again on her sand blown, rocky track

To hear the heaving ocean, Breakers thundering on the shore
Where the whale bones bleach under pitiless skies
And the wind whispers “never more”

Never more to the Queen of the lion clan
Who bestrode these shattered wastes
Oblivious to the eyes of the man
All alon...

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conservationnaturalistlovelionthe seaJohn Masefield

Day 2

"idk, but we can try"

what does that mean?

and why do you continue to 

contact me?

W   H   Y   ?

you said you want NO ONE.

then that includes me,

my time,

my love,

my care,

and my company.

If you want to be truly free,

then be free without

any parts of me.


so i did not respond,

but i am tempted.

how would that work?

how would we......

how ...

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So soft and new

Soft babies brewed

For months waited

Excited and anticipated


You are not mine

Yet close enough to build a shrine

Encompassing a wonder and love for you

Looking forwarding to meeting you two


Dinosaurs, mittens and tiny onesies await

Cute hats and warm baths you'll hate

A warmth of well wishes and love in abundance

To tuck you in and bathe i...

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Day 1

Yesterday, was day one.

A day of being alone,


Thinking about how my mind 

has yet to understand what happened.

what makes you everything they want,

but not wanted at the same time.


what is it? 


for someone to bring you in on their journey,

then blame the journey for the reason


they   no   longer    need    you   .


they need freedom,


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I Am the Happiest One On This Land,

I am the happiest one on this land,

Even if sometimes I feel sad,

I remember the day you gave me your hand,

And became the most adorable lad.



It took me so long to find the only one.

Before I breathed the dust of human vanity,

How many I met those who just had fun!

Without even a hint to humanity.


I can't express myself in words,

It's hard to find the righ...

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