Poetry Blogs (2017, anxiety)
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It’s so tempting to call you
There’s a voice screaming at me to just
Pick up the phone
Just pick up the phone
Against every urge
I’m silent, all except these prose
I must stay silent
Wait for what?
For the message, the text, the phone call
Another voice tells me
That will never happen
Selfishly, I want you to miss me
I want to make you miss me
Sunday 26th November 2017 3:22 am
Wind rocks my boat tonight,
Sitting on this bed I feel little more than whole,
The nausea creating holes in my fickle heart.
Father walks cold in the streets of Paris,
Back turned to me,
I wander further upon this ragged terrain.
Distant memories fading yet again,
For in the presence of men and wind,
My skin becomes fatal.
The very blood,
Wednesday 22nd November 2017 7:47 am
i am never one to say ‘i was only kidding’
i am the type who experiences guilt
physical and mental
never mad at those who snap at me
patience is something that i need
Monday 20th November 2017 8:54 pm
When the night doth come, weary follows distantly.
Toiling farther from the dawn with each passing sunset, offers not the distraction so sought out by its woeful captor.
With worried mind and worried soul and yearning for slumber. Not for rest, but for release.
Relentless is the repeat of ruminating reasoning. Soul wrenching speculation scews sensibility, until slowly and sluggishly sle...
Monday 13th November 2017 12:48 am
People born unequal is a matter of life,
The seeds of despair are set to ripen beneath the full moon.
Arrogance flourishes from the talent of the few,
Oh how they stand so tall and watch great flames over small mountains.
Your great starlight showed me a path,
I thought I could see myself in the mirror of your eye,
I see now that you are who I wished myself to be,
Monday 30th October 2017 3:28 am
Swiftly in the breeze,
Greatest tides crash,
Children playing softly in the sand.
Geese flock in arrows and the sky so warm,
I witness the power of sanity,
Yet I recoil from it in unforgettable agony.
The truth is that in this world,
You become what you are,
And you die that way.
I must disagree,
For even if the great moon shining in the sky collapses into the ocean below, t...
Saturday 28th October 2017 7:26 am
When you look at the water
From the specific position of the diving board.
It stays still with the silence of god himself, unmoving despite the world continuing.
It was noon, and the lifeguard made a joke.
"Be careful, there's a shark in the water!"
I could see all the way down past the top of the water to the mid-blue circle spiral encompassing the 'deep bowl' of the pool.
Monday 16th October 2017 4:14 am
Feel Like I'm Crazy
The doctor tells me "it's Fibromyalgia"
I've never heard of it before
But I think finally I have an answer
For all of my pain
But it doesn't take me long to decipher
It's something that they can't explain
Do they think that I'm insane?
They don't understand it
There is no cure
It's a curse not an answer
And I don't know how much more of this I can endure
Friday 22nd September 2017 5:04 pm
My poetry's hollow and null
And like my life it is quite dull
So I ramble and cry
And I wish to just die
While I ponder why I've not been culled.
And yes even so
I continue to write words
With no direct form
Rhyme scheme, structure, they mean very little
To a person who has no control of their life
And apathetically watches as he carries on strife.
And in a rotted hole, th...
Wednesday 13th September 2017 12:23 pm
Shallowly sagging in vicious winds of a cold autumn night,
The grass vibrates me a tune as I wander forwards through green and yellow forest,
Blissful mist of rain creating small fluorescent puddles on my skin.
The acidic thorns of men once stood behind the walls of fantasy seeping into the water,
Scorching my skin,
Red splotches ooze remnants of a world once to have been seen ...
Thursday 31st August 2017 8:24 am
Sometimes I can
rail against it,
Sometimes I hide
it well, other
days the fatigue
of fighting it shows.
"Get over Yourself."
Wednesday 5th July 2017 4:42 am
It's smaller on the inside,
Come and be my guide.
The lock shrinks the place,
to such a tiny space.
The space is retreating,
It stops your heart beating,
Room starts swimming,
Constricting air thinning.
Can't help feeling sickly,
I need to get out quickly,
It constricts your chest
Lead weight thermal vest.
Sweat covers my brow,
Need to get...
Monday 3rd July 2017 2:14 pm
Must touch once, twice, thrice!
Otherwise I must pay the price!
Penetrating thoughts that won’t go away,
Compulsions that haunt me day by day,
Anxiety comes, anxiety goes,
Got guilt, depression and so much obsession.
Please leave me!
Thursday 29th June 2017 1:54 am
Subtle and nearly invisible at first,
slowly crawling over my skin,
forming fractols of scars.
entrapping me inside my own body,
crushed under the broken glass
penetrating through every inch of exposed skin,
deepening with every thought unsaid,
every night of comfort you missed,
every casual remark you passed.
My silent screams ring in my ears
Monday 15th May 2017 5:40 am
"Like a house of cards,
one blow from caving in..."
I sing heavily alone in our house,
carrying the weight of our dead
friendship in my voice,
hopelessly waiting for a familiar hug,
a touch of warmth to lighten
the evergrowing darkness in my mind.
I can still feel the love in our captured memories,
hear the leaves rustle with a deafening reminder
of the time I forgot how to spe...
Friday 12th May 2017 5:19 am
The more I go
The darker it gets
Doesn't matter what is my choice
It's always the wrong one
I missed all the tracks
But there is no survivor left in me
I wish I was the never ending story
That at least came to end.
Wednesday 26th April 2017 8:36 pm
the mean voice inside my head,
a monster tormenting me.
You are lurking in the darkness,
waiting for the moments when I'm weak.
When I am feeling down,
that's when you speak.
Won't you stop?
for some peace.
And I keep telling myself
Wednesday 26th April 2017 4:59 pm
Tell me I'm broken
Tell me that it's too late to glue all the pieces back together
Like a shit mosaic we made when there was nothing better to do
My body is a vinyl that no one's played in years
Scratched and distorted but the music is still the same just heard by different ears
If my body is a temple in which my mind is the God of it's intention
Then I must surely be an athiest...
Saturday 14th January 2017 11:52 pm