I lost my girl to a barista
He’s taken all I’d got
Wrote her name on her cup, then he kissed her
While she necked an espresso shot

I thought that I could trust her
But this is no minor affliction
Her love for the bean’s robusta
It’s a terminal addiction

I’m a has bean on the cafe scene
You could say at this juncture
Since I lost my Costa Coffee Queen
My Nespresso capsule’s punctured

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I love my perfect life
With my perfect kids and my perfect wife
And all those perfect times we’ve had
Being the perfect mum and perfect dad

And our perfect home where perfect friends
Adapt perfectly to every trend
Or those perfect days spent at the beach
Who says perfection’s out of reach?

We have perfect times when we go out
With perfect people round about
As our perfect laughter fi...

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I’ll take my chances by the crater’s edge

And hold my partner to the windswept ledge

Our heads thrown back as we await the crash

Of pumice stone and hot volcanic ash

With molten lava there is just one chance

To swoon and tango in one last romance

So take me in your arms and squeeze me tight

Erupting embers make the earth ignite

He holds her waist she grips his wri...

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I’ve got my eye on a bungalow

now I’m ageing fast and living slow

not much to do, nowhere to go

A remote-controlled garage door

An en-suite on the ground floor

These are the things I’m looking for

My rosy afterglow

I’ve got my eye on a bungalow

Where I can unwind, go with the flow

Touch the roof it’s only low

A resin drive that’s easy to clean

No moss, no weed...

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Two stones banged together 
To create a misplaced spark
Forget about the weather
Never mind the dark
Harnessing that fire
Gave Neanderthals a thrill
They could build a funeral pyre
And keep out the Ice Age chill

Down countless generations 
The flame remained intact
As in various locations 
Wood was splintered, split and stacked
By Maasai on the Kenyan Plains
In Uluru’s mystic glow
...

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Sleeping with Alexa

Got a new girl in the metaverse

It’s impossible to hate her

Although her repartee is terse

And she’s harvesting my data

Her presence is immersive

She’s made my life complete

Her motives are subversive

She’s got no hands or feet

She’s a disembodied avatar

Who tells me all I need to know

From how to drive a driverless car

What to...

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We’re locking up the poets

And throwing them in cells

They’re dissidents and show it

Via odes and villanelles

Collected incantations 

Against the status quo 

Acerbic observations 

Couplets in full flow

We’re exiling the muses 

To be banished somewhere grim

With Terza Rima that confuses

And volumes that are slim

Wokey right-on anarchists

Who kid...

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If dogs were made world leaders

There would be no futile wars

And laws and treaties would be signed

With inky prints of paws

Chihuahuas and Alsatians

Would respect each other’s space

There’d be no United Nations

Just a favourite sniffing place

Summit sessions would be held

In playing fields or parks

With flashing collars de rigeur

For meetings after dar...

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We needed Nelson Mandela

They gave us Elizabeth Truss

A crushing disappointment for all the rest of us

We needed Mahatma Gandhi

They gave us Elizabeth Truss

Which was seriously worrying

When her judgement is so sus

We needed Angela Merkel

They gave us Elizabeth Truss

Stick a three-word slogan on a big red bus

Liz our Healer, our Leader our Giver

Chosen to Deliver...

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Parish Councillor (after Betjeman)

I am a Parish Councillor; no job’s too small for me

From facilitating Bonfire Night to lighting up the tree

In every avenue and byway of our village small and neat

You’ll find me surveying the highway and examining the street.

Who’s that? people say as I stride along the lanes

Frowning, nodding, peering down to investigate the drains

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