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the golden ratio (2+2=5)

I spent the night of the crash speaking to Morpheus 

Telling him how your bones rattled 

Not like the psithurism of the trees in winter 

But like a hessian sack full of river smooth rocks 

Not tectonically, nothing as monumental 

But like sticks brittle from frost 

A personal earthquake 

Marrowed pins pushing through your beautiful sack of organs 

 

I told him how in the...

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see, saw, seen, sworn

Red string draped across the bare branches of an acacia tree 

Then pulled taut 

The emasculation of kitchen scissors 

She said 'sometimes it is beautiful just to survive' 

Sometimes you give up on yourself 

Just to keep up 

But what does that really mean for our soul 

Trapped in amber, staring out at the children playing in the park 

The sun basting your tender frame with h...

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though we kneel before you like a child

like a tantric paste daubed across the night sky 

we danced. tracing sine waves like semaphore with  

hateful eyes glistening under the dull bloom of the universe. 

lids glued shut with sleepless shrapnel, lashes meeting tear 

streaked cheeks. though we kneel before him like a child, 

he does not hear our pleas. it took a lifetime, father, for us to raise 

the white flag and kiss...

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shoot out the lights (haiku)

your haunting presence

scattered ashes melt the snow

seasons fall apart

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upon this tidal wave of young blood

My mind is a tomb where the gods sleep 

To awaken in my dreams 

Past and future blur in to the present 

My hearts ink bleeds, staining the parchment of the days 

It took my mother three days to evict me from her soft place 

Aching for the blade to cut me out 

Peeling the flesh from the sacred ground 

An explosion of screaming guilt and bloody flesh 

To lay roots at the foot...

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take me to tokyo where the lights may blind me

 

I am smoking in bed and reading an article about 

The human soul weighing the same as a cigarette 

While my daily allowance of untapped clamor 

Forms snow like crusts on the eggshell sheets 

How do people keep it together in this world 

When only sleep winds back the ball of yarn 

That unravels slowly throughout the day 

A wet thread of fatigue that snakes through my hous...

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a clenched fist full of your ribs, balaam, would mend the ways of many who are lost at sea

and so i spat

humanity?!

humanity is but a cleft palette

mutilating the angelic face of the earth

such cancer will not be irradiated with light

nor love will drown its feeble hive mind.

 

a sword! a sword!

diamond ricasso sharpened with hate

now watch me cleave from socket, rend

this vile wart that shocks the sirens light

and bury a mile high

the demons foul tha...

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morning dew

[sweet little jenny]

her hair stands

erect[licked]

when kissing

when kissed

 

likethewind

blowsleaves

fromdripping

branches

 

not because

sheloveshim

but because

daddy spread her legs

in the dust of the

tool shed

 

a kissing

a kissing

 

(we all fall down)

 

he would

give her

all the shakes

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lay my neck on this block of wood but make it one clean swing

[i lay my head

 

on the chest

 

of

god]

 

[but i hear

[not a][      ]      

 

[heartbeat]

 

forihave

[gone]

 

[so very

far]

 

but further

 

 

[further

i must go]

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cracked

egg you are shot through with veins like a mother’s swollen teat

egg you are with feathered with mucus, like snot in a shell

egg you are a sparkling white albumen and a pallid, jaundiced yolk

whisked with cream and pepper you become a truffled cloud of disappointment

egg you are shit out, sat on, hatched or caught

will you be a mothers world or enrobed in cheap mayonnaise

perhaps...

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alva, who is darkness

alva is who appears at midnight

with a mechanical needle one hundred metres long

sucking bleak black blood from the acne scars of mother

alva is here when i am alone and i lock my door

peeling crescent moons of rose red flesh

alva is the sin

that lets me think i can get away with it

the foolish pride

the gluttony

the decaying colostrum from your darkened nipples

alva ...

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silt

its easier now with time to afford names to the neurosis that

i cast around you like piano wires, those that you simply laughed

off and those that edged into your flesh like pyracantha, strangling

the life from those people irresponsible enough to ask more than

my name. those that i held under the chill waters of my discontent,

bubbles rising like full stops from steel blue lips tha...

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seasonal attraction disorder

take me in your autumn arms

for you are every photon

 

take me by the hand and

kiss me softly on my spring lips

for you are every leaf that ever fell

 

every berry that stained the prints

of shaking summer fingers

 

now...

 

lets drift around this wintered world together

and pretend no one ever told us

how much we were supposed to love.

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when a dog returns to consume its own vomit, it does so through choice and not hunger

at its best it is a glass over a candle,

blinkered, immediate. we are not past

or future, just anchored now, gripped

just tight enough to finger-paint lust

on bony shoulders, just a couple more

scratches to blame on the cat, our

wrists reddened by weekend revelry.

how stale it felt on a rainy wednesday

but still you had read online that it

helped, that it might make you ...

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all we ever wanted was everything

a man is placing silver coins on the eyes of his friend

who died in the night, a lonely wind blown into his mouth and through his marrow

and now the sulphurous glare of our greatest ally sends life through infinity

as it will until the teeth of our society are smashed from our gums

by the bayonet of impotence and jealousy that is the human race

and even then she will shine until the...

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fabric

boiling waves of deep sine wave bass –

flick the back of my eyes like the tip of a tongue

 

a butterfly-and im sweating through my socks

and im shedding my cells like midnight snakeskin

 

now you are walking slowly through a strobe light

you seem not to move at all

there/gone/there/gone

 

and you are my friend

and you are my friend

and you are my friend

and y...

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mechanism

sometimes it takes the form of a pocket watch

or a shard of glass

 

we both saw him place the noose around her neck

a choker too tight with diamonds

nails bitten low enough to bleed

 

a sliver of blood blooming at the tip

placed softly like a crustless sandwich between pale chapped lips

tang of iron and medium rare steak         puddles of it now

walk softly, softly t...

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eleuthoromania

sometimes we just had to run

our eyes would meet across the bedroom floor

your leg would be twitching

mine would too

that nagging, lactic vibration just below the knees

when fathers thunder could be heard above the radio

despite the volume being so high that all that came out was white noise

sometimes we just had to run

run across the yard

with hollywood rain lashing in ...

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opiate rapture in e-minor

when darkness fell at last

the stars fell too

descending from heaven like so many glistening eyes

the gospel told us we would ascend to heaven

but the truth was contradictory

the heavens came to us

on that freezing cold night in late November

with our breath like dragons, our hands clammy despite the loss of feeling

we stood surrounded by countless burning candles

a brig...

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i took you to the brightest places on earth so that i could see who you truly are

blue mountains, australia: there is more light here than dark, space is milky, pop and wheeze

i suspect you have been sleeping with my sister, my brother

svalbard: aurora borealis paints feathers of jade on a rich tapestry of pitch black

did she scream for you like she did for me

kalahari desert, early morning: sand melts to glass melts to water melts the eyes

a trillion billion pan...

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one step beyond

you spent so long in that obsidian chamber

that you named each worm of light that crept in

named them based on the complexity of the pattern

that exploded behind your eyelids

for to open your eyes and view them would be blinding

this one is paul

a single line pulsing oranges and blues

next cronos

a ring of white heat around a pale, milky ball

once a week heimdallr struck...

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little nightmares

bolt the door

mummy is in bed

with faberge eggs

with diamond rings

daddy is at work

his yarn slowly unravelling

in the stained armchair

let golden birds

flitter flutter

let rockets

shoot sparks

to the moon

let the wise old owl

take you by the hand

scrunch up your eyes

don’t let the tears out

if mummy calls

turn up the volume

if daddy screams

...

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so kiss me, hold me and eat me

 

i would be good for eating

it started innocently enough

a bite of the lower lip

stretched just that touch too far

a nibble on the neck that left a muted firework of blood blisters for the rest of the day

the teeth marks you left in my index finger as i explored your mouth

 

you would be good for eating

it shifted so subtly that we barely noticed

like the gradually d...

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anhedonia

he inhabits the tenuous dead space where

ampersands float beyond blinking spots of

daylight, lost in whorls of third eye blindness.

 

he is blasted new from fractious nerve

endings that shoot a thousand tiny deaths

through elements, through cosmic notes

lifted from the songbook of infinite night.

 

he whispers barbs like crude missiles tipped

with toxicities, hemlock ...

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the moon

no one ever thinks about the moon

how it must feel staring down at the earth

watching us love and fuck and destroy each other

premium tickets to an exhibition of annihilation

if the moon could talk

i think it would say

when the carrion picks the carcass clean

the blood that drips from his beak is always red

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snowflake 3

a tiny flake

your lips

fell to earth

whispered

 

then kissed my hot cheek

 

you smelt like heaven

and dissolved as we met

i dissolved when we met

 

a fragile alliance

                                like a snowflake

a moment in time

                                a tear rolled down my cheek

a tear in time and space

                               

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snowflake 2

virgin flakes land soft explode on the tongue

the taste of promise of something beginning

and ending in an instant then pooling behind

the painted smiles of children.

 

and what are we but footprints in the snow 

laid deep and resonant by crunching soles 

a thousand tiny guides to the end times 

then slate wiped by fresh fall.

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snowflake

even under a microscope

snowflakes keep their magical shape

like charms cut from paper by smooth,

shaky hands during december.

 

if you are a snowflake i envy you

because i am trembling just below

the surface,

 

a ripple of pure light that burst forth

from god, has struck the morning dew

and now has no idea where to shine.

 

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endgame

clouds like beautiful silk breeze against the cobalt sky

 

we walk through a field of dandelions

as time flows around us

 

quiet little monsters crawl over our skin

 

last week i saw him

like dirt trapped under a fingernail

 

your hands are sweaty

you are nervous

i turn to you and smile

everything turns to dust eventually

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klittra

in the time of leif ericson

from roughly hewn granite

a bright white elk struck forth

arrows jutting from its neck like needles

soft fur caked with blood

through smoke and fire that stung the mizzling sky

it opened its crackling mouth

muzzle appeared from muzzle

teeth gnashed at lip

tongues wrenched free, swallowed whole

and such a child was born that was both light a...

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the man that swallowed the sky

my mother used to tell me the tale

of the man who swallowed the sky

she said long ago there was a boy

whose life was spent in wanting

who looked for his answers at the bottom of a bottle

but found nothing of any use

so he looked elsewhere

in the prick of a needle

the haunt of serotonin

tobacco and gold

he consumed it all but found no relief

so he ate a girls heart

...

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the churning of the ocean of milk

south of the ruins of angkor wat

where nature long ago struck back at mankind

a fat white man wrings the heat from his t-shirt

while a 14 year old girl paces next to him

swollen with new life and heavy with shame

 

the roots spread through her temple

 

at night he dines in hotel bars

sweats in to his cold beer

while his bride lies in a darkened room

tears long ago ...

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liquid gold

the girl with galaxies in her veins

sits weeping in her bathroom

she casts a line down the drain

hopes to find her memories

 

memories of pyramid spices in marrakesh

of turmeric in bangladesh

of cayenne and bright green coffee beans

memories of the man with the tiny opal box

of the darkened rooms and double vision

pavements turn to gold and eyes turn milky

there is...

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lemonade

with my shaking finger

i trace your ribs like mountains

i drink in the birdsong

lick the spit from your tongue

 

the calmest i ever felt

was when i reached for your hand

now the hate turns me on

like you never could

 

if this was war

our cities would be rubble

our eyes would sting with the dust of the fallen

our tears would feather the dirt

 

there is a...

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infinity

i tried to tell you how i felt about the universe

how i was overcome with the immensity of it

how i would wake up in the morning

with a vacuum between my heart and my gut

an empty space where my bravery should be

 

what is my motivation for this scene?

you are afraid

what am i afraid of?

of your own power

i don’t understand

don’t you believe in infinity?

 

so...

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dont know when but a day is gonna come

on tuesday we became the sky

pulled the clouds over our faces like shrouds

poured out vitriol from our mouths, the sun

took the silver sliver of the moon in to our arms and struck the hearts of our enemies

on wednesday we became the earth

tore clumps of sod and soil from the wounded land

used trees as spears, rocks as bullets

hurled tectonic plates, sent smashing against the w...

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oh dear oh dear

upon opening the meat, venison, i smelt the blood,

a thick, violet paste, rancid like glue

as i dropped the cubes into the searing copper pan

I saw the maggots pop and crisp like discarded fingernails

some exploding entirely in the heat

still more maggots came then

searching for the moments between my bones

under the leather of my skin, sucking the marrow from my cartilage

...

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the man stood in the corner of the room

what happens in your dream she asks

me on a day at a time i do not know

and i cannot speak i am just terrified,

terrified of him, the man from my past who

is now stood in the corner of the room

fading into the shadow of the filing cabinet

like a detuned radio and he stinks, oh god

he stinks like a summers waste bin and again

she asks me what is wrong  and i turn to her

a...

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dunes

the sand lies within us just beneath the surface

but no one will find it not customs officials

or surgeons or cheap state psychologists

searching for photographs of smothered children

the sand we keep within us we draw it in

deep breath in and if we are lucky the fire

in our hearts is strong enough to melt it

into the glass that we use in our later years

to stare at our nei...

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basquiat

you never appreciated basquiat

i felt for you

you told me you only saw a childs scrawling

a cry for attention from a petulant teen

a mentally challenged adult hastily daubing a canvas

before the voices overwhelmed him

before the stench of the shit in the world got too much to bear

the tendrils of emetic despair wafting through the grate

in his run down bathroom

cartoon l...

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lime

as a fire burns within me i sit in a hut

with a white eyed woman/milk-eyed/like marbles sunk into lips of bruised

 

fat/hair like rust on silk/each strand disintegrating in loops and leaves

in the solid breeze flowing from somewhere far eastern

 

and dangerous/where horns are ground for impotence and kaffir

lime leaves scent the air like the perfume of an elderly lady with

...

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another day, another gin

the gap                                  between the

platform                                 and the train

he boards                               each night to

travel home                            was nothing

compared                               to the gap

between                                him and                his family

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cloak

my name is the sound

that you make late at night

the scream stuck

behind eyes glazed with sleep

fingernails riven

scraping oak boards

the shield of the moon

shuts down at my touch

a mystic

a savage

i come

 

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dirge

in veils of black crepe silk she rose

each night to tempt my tongue

a phoenix in mourning

 

at the window a whisper

a gap so small

the nursery lies empty

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ode to amy watson

in school you were a goddess to me

i dreamt of kissing your feet

you were the first girl to make me erupt

to coax out my seed

to transform a clueless boy in to one in tune with his body

 

but we never spoke

 

in college you were fading

the albatross of popularity sagged around your love bitten neck

the skirts became shorter to ensure the eyes remained fixed

while i...

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daysleeper

by day we feast on sweaty mediocrity

hunched over keyboards dripping with seed

a thousand lovely ants shackled by sin

 

but the night is ours to wander

to stand under the colossal slate sky

our souls alive and burning like the first flame

 

brought to life by flint and tinder

we float up through roofs and windows

and set our minds free in the vastness of conscience

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the rabbit

i first encountered death at midnight

stumbling through the creaking pines

needles crackling under my bare feet

there lay the fallen rabbit, lit by the moon

its fur matted and stomach bloated

finally, i met death before my parents

could cut me off and sanitise the area

i poked and prodded with a stick purloined

from the tree where my urine was drying

and uncovered its si...

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fallout

look straight at the sun when it is snowing.

see each flake flecked and fanged with fire.

at last this is not mere frozen rain, but skin,

human skin falling, in strips and patches, air

cloying with the stench of rubber and carbon.

 

iodine stains the fingers brown as hair sheds

from scalps thick grit with dust and detritus

 

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after we realised we were nothing we became everything

meeting someone between the hours of 2am and 5am

is different to meeting them during the day.

 

you speak to them in hushed tones, share the moment with them,

the idea that you are the only people left on earth,

 

the only people special enough to be up at this time,

a time whenever everyone else is deep in slumber

 

and you are left to appreciate how the world keeps tur...

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sewage

spitting on the carpet

waiting for the day to fade

allow the vomit to dry on the wall

so much easier to clean that way

push the chunks down the sink

through the little holes

to the nether realm

the place where the rats live

perhaps they will enjoy last nights dinner

perhaps they will enjoy the blood

the flat coca cola

matted fur and mangy teeth

i can hear them c...

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