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Am I a Son of God?

 

I am as blessed as bees benefitting from a bounteous bloom.

I am chosen like choosing a caramel from a box of chocolates.

I am holy like the hopping Robin just ahead of me.

I am forgiven as I forgive those who trespass against me.

I am as blameless as my brother’s baby.

I am adopted as an angry teenager whose assaults are acerbic.

I am wise as worries that have wrought a welt through whittled skin.

I am unfastened, I understand, unlike ugly friends who choose not to.

I am hopeful at last after all this time.

I am inwardly praising pleased that now I can smile at a poem.

I am wondering when my way out will come.

Until then I am ready.

Godforgivenesshope

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Comments

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Ferris Ty Taylor

Sat 3rd Apr 2021 10:07

I find a lot of humour in your stuff, I'm probably gonna stop commenting now cos I'm starting to creep myself out but I'm so excited. Your poetry is amazing. I'm having a ball reading these, I hope you make money from writing

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Yvonne Brunton

Thu 3rd May 2012 22:27

I like the concept of this poem - I agree with Glyn about the lines he mentioned and perhaps 'I am hopeful.....would be better as the penultimate line.
Because of the repetitive nature of this piece I was looking for a little something else within it. I half expected to see a kind of acrostic word formed from all the alliterative letters ( that would be great but hard work and probably need a great deal of rejigging) but it may be something you bear in mind for a different poem. XX

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Emma Stradling

Thu 3rd May 2012 19:56

Yes thank you for your comments Glyn.

Now I look at it box of chocolates line is terrible!

I'll have an edit & see what I can do. I'm glad you liked the idea.

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Glyn Pope

Thu 3rd May 2012 17:31

For quite a serious well written poem in the most part this line is dreadful

'I am chosen like choosing a caramel from a box of chocolates.'

Find something better to say. Also not as strongly, I find this line a bit clumsy

'I am unfastened, I understand, unlike ugly friends who choose not to.'

Though overall it's a great idea for a poem, but it cud be improved. Give it some thought. My criticisms are kindly meant.

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