I want to be alone,
but only within my family.
I want to to teach you
but only with him too.
I want to help myself
but only if you help me.
I want to be confident
but only if you are there.
I want to be creative
but only if you allow me.
I want to be a parent
but only if I’m parented.
I want to be an adult
but only if I can be a child.
I want to feel emotions
but only if you hold me...

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Can you imagine infinity as a 10 year old?

Yet now, 28 Years Later, I think it’s no time at all

I know you’ve been with me, all this while, watching, 

I grew from a child, into a girl, then a daughter.

There were times when I wished you weren’t there,

private moments, intimacies, melancholic memories,

I silently searched for you to surprise me,

my wedding, a fatherly hug ...

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Liquor, such a licentious name,

I hear it whispered on TV,

my hair stands on end.

I move the bottles out of sight,

to negate their seductiveness.

They cry to be held or treasured.

The weakness of wine glasses,

resonating when they are washed.

They are true to their purpose at least.

I pour a scant amount,

measuring with molecular like precision.

I swig it back with...

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