Poetry Blog by Douglas MacGowan
on Miraculous (Wed, 14 Nov 2018 01:32 pm)
You’ve left me no other choice.
I have searched for you for years, clawing my way through faith after faith.
But it seems like you pushed the button on The Big Bang and then wandered off, our universe not shiny enough to keep your attention.
But you left fingerprints: the hummingbird and the Andromeda Galaxy.
You left no message to follow, but billions have claimed to have followed the...
Wednesday 13th February 2019 10:47 pm
They are out to get me.
They stare, sizing me up.
They think I don't notice, but I see them. I don't stare back. I don't want to incite them.
I must give off a "crazy vibe" or a "crazy odor" that they can sense I am not doing well at all.
They want to capture me, take me away, hospital.
against my will.
I don't know how to fight them.
I only know that my protective womb shell ...
Tuesday 4th December 2018 5:09 pm
Eyes on me, everybody.
I am going to have a breakdown right in front of you.
So you might want to take notes,
because this will be on the test.
Saturday 10th November 2018 7:44 pm
If I could draw,
I would try to capture the shapes of your face
in shadows and charcoal.
I would trace the birthmark on your cheek
and the freckles (moth kisses) over your nose.
And the fires that are your eyes when I disappoint you.
But I am hopeless with pen and ink.
I only have words,
and words will never capture the trances you inspire
when you shine like t...
Friday 9th November 2018 6:53 pm
Some other God
watched my birth
oversaw my childhood
and my clumsy growth
It saw me struggle
trying to fit in
on some crazy path
now It seems quiet
happy to let me slide
into my "dark night of the soul"
clawing towards my former contentment
Thursday 8th November 2018 8:08 pm
I swing between extremes
try to catch me
where you see me I have already left
I don’t know what I am afraid will happen if I am caught
but I fear something bad
I’ve been caught before only to have it crash
so I try to fall into the pit
where I will be covered by shadows
Wednesday 7th November 2018 7:06 pm
death is not marketable - except to florists and stonemasons
you would think that after centuries of leavings that society might have figured it out
but it remains as precarious and unspeakable as ever
it’s not something to rush into
it waits at the gate, silent but almost conversing
Tuesday 6th November 2018 8:48 pm
I want a vision
just a small appearance, no healing spring
I reach back and see when You and I were in touch
Now I wonder if You were ever there
So I’d like for You to show Yourself in some small way
Just to give me something to steer with
Monday 5th November 2018 9:03 pm
There once was a boy name of Sophocles
who all of the school boys would often tease
he wrote up some plays
that went on for days
and all of his shirts had blue cotton sleeves
Saturday 3rd November 2018 10:14 pm
Putting ribbons in your hair reveals your inner moods:
bright colors for joy
pastels for calm
dark strands for the void
When you come to me with reds and blues
you challenge my bleak thoughts and you always win
Soft greens and pinks cause my fire inside to lie spent on the floor
Blacks and purples tell me to be careful
One never knows when despair will raise ...
Wednesday 22nd August 2018 11:25 pm
Spring will not find The Gray Boy
trees hide and shadows conceal
Summer blossoms render his color unnoticeable
Autumn begins his reveal
But search for him in Winter
when his steps leave snowy prints
and his face ceases blending with the tree branches
Tuesday 21st August 2018 8:37 pm
As I was drowning,
gasping and grasping,
you fluttered a hand in the water
for me to grab hold of
you: a rock near the chasm, the last place to hold
me: always on Theater Time, arriving just as the lights dim
Who could have guessed our pairing?
back when I was shy and you were new
but the gatherings fell into place and the bells ran...
Monday 20th August 2018 8:24 pm
Water finds form
a child with a hose
spraying the landscape for enemies
Summer I could draw
if it would stand still --
instead it crawls along my eyesight
the sun is hot,
the breeze is not
the convertibles pass by the front proch of my house
boastfully claiming their air that is denied to other cars
the long day draws to a close
Sunday 19th August 2018 9:17 pm
Whisper me darkly,
I no longer know where you end
and my ownings begin.
I've fostered hate against you for so long that it's a suburn that fades slowly -
never quite matching the color that surrounds.
I hope to win me back -
there are pieces of me that ache by their void.
I suppose I could step around you,
but that would be a dance step I never mastered.
Sunday 19th August 2018 4:09 am
Miles and an ocean between us
Your voice, your face -- missing
Do you remember, as a little girl, dancing to the TV?
I don't remember, but I have seen it in home movies
Deep glimpses from the past that never change or age
You walk a little slower now
You can reveal or keep your own ways
Happy to happier you forge your path
Until the wind tangles your graying hair
Friday 18th May 2018 10:12 pm
i come to you in purple
you meet me in blue
The colors are close but don’t quite match
in the house, the doors are slightly ajar
somebody could be listening, but I trust we’re alone
This scent of sandalwood makes me remember you previously
in so many places
but here it is our farewell that brings us together
there are no tears
Thursday 17th May 2018 11:52 pm
where do I fall now?
I’ve left so many craters
find me by the holes
where Birds congregate
and people move too quickly -
there you will find me
you hypnotize me
I call for your secret lies
you never said no
I have now begun:
claw my way up from the void.
no slim light - not yet
Thursday 26th April 2018 10:33 pm
Fair objects - all trees
leaves combining frost and fire
bird homes hidden ‘neath
Fiercer than pinecones
no breadcrumbs to follow there
a walk in the woods
A loss of epic
in the space where stars are killed
a little less light
I am glad you failed
I take pleasure in your fall
no guilt - just light heart
Tuesday 24th April 2018 11:26 pm
Fairy lights in the bushes
cast no shadows:
And you can't see well enough to read
But you can see to dance
feet separate from floor
Twirl in the half-cast light
until the sky takes up its own glimmer
Monday 23rd April 2018 9:22 pm
If I saw you at the Faire,
I wouldn’t take things so seriously.
The crowds would part,
so I could see only you.
Only then could I heal the wounds
that someone else discarded.
I am fragile.
But you can sense that.
And you approach me slowly,
like a silkworm.
Saturday 24th March 2018 5:45 pm
If tomorrow never came,
I would invent it.
I cannot stay here,
stuck with the needles and racing thoughts.
I don’t know why I am so nervous.
I have done these things hundred of times before.
But every time I stare down these guns
Some day all this should become old hat.
A hat with a brim that hides my eyes.
Wednesday 21st March 2018 4:42 pm
Your words were gold
I sat at your feet
and then time passed
Your words were silver
and then time passed
Your words were copper
and then time passed
Your words are lead
you’ve taken my own words into hiding
with your pipe and matches
but I will find you:
because smoke makes noise.
Sunday 11th March 2018 9:01 pm
Anger has claws
snagged across bone
pierced along gut
= = = =
Sadness has a depth
flooding the pathway
swamping the roots
= = = =
His pace knows no footsteps
shows no sign in snow
he is immobile
= = = =
winter easily discovers his hiding
trees are bare — nowhere to vanish
Saturday 27th January 2018 8:46 am
You’ll know me when you see me
I am often spoken of in small groups:
the man with the gray hat
the man who sinned and then sinned again
When I am first seen, it is a trick of the light
further glimpses bring into focus
shadows crush into my silhouette
“how can someone wear a heavy coat on such a warm day?”
I bet you won’t notice my shoes
heavy thump, thump
Thursday 25th January 2018 7:27 am
Coldest night of winter
an upturned hand
= = =
= = =
Follow me in autumn boats
wherever you harbor
I will be the sea
= = =
Stillness of the clock
her hand on the car keys
after his confession
Tuesday 23rd January 2018 9:03 pm
A kite escaped from boys today
and fell behind the town -
and made sure that she was free
and circled the sky around
She taunted towards the little boys
and beckoned me to try -
and so I also cut my string
and joined her in the sky
Monday 22nd January 2018 7:11 pm
We buried you today — flowers, hymnals
dirt clods, shovels
Your death was unexpected, unapproved
What were you thinking?
There on the stone
name engraved, haughty dates on obscene display
surely dignity requires a quieter memorial
For you were small and little made of
your voice could barely pierce the ether
that wove itself about your huge soul
Sunday 21st January 2018 7:35 am
Under the silks
inside the wardrobe
lies the magic:
a key without an answer
a bell without a caution
a home without a door.
the spells are cast.
Friday 19th January 2018 9:28 pm
Your ancestor = my forefather.
(some number) cousin
(some number) removed
Well, there ya go.
Are your hands small, too?
Are you afraid of fireworks?
Will we know each other at the airport?
Because blood glows.
Thursday 18th January 2018 7:02 am
I dare you to breathe
standing in front of me
weak apologies and sloppy explanations
You give me road maps of journeys you never took
What do you think of me?
That I can be cast as stones
and fortunes to overcome?
Cast aside indeed
pale markers at the side of the road
impossible to follow you though the screens you scattered in your wake
Wednesday 17th January 2018 6:06 am
A pile of dirt
to hide the bones
or in dark streams:
weight with stones
The clothes are easy
burn them up
from plate and cup
Tell callers that
they ne’er arrived
they’ll never spot
the lie contrived
with tired query
with no hints or clues
and not one theory
Though one detective
stays and grates
Monday 15th January 2018 9:09 pm
a lizard on a hot, smooth stone
my cats recreating sphinxes until the postman comes
the first hummingbird finally noticing my feeder
an old toy found under a new tree
a woman on the sidewalk ahead just turning a corner
rubbing of tombstones in the abandoned graveyard
finally tall enough for the rollercoaster
a balloon with wings, maybe
Saturday 13th January 2018 8:10 am
Cold acts I have done
a ruined wedding
a drowned pet
a neglected mother
These I could draw for you
if I only had the time —
current cruelties take all my notice
while future meanness
starts to dawn
Thursday 11th January 2018 8:25 am
Nobody sees him in his fine clothes
near the rope
beneath the stream
If he could have said something
he would have
But his petitions were met with stones
They will be shocked that he slipped away
And those same stones will take his place at table
Wednesday 10th January 2018 11:19 pm
She falls away from me
shadows and height
into her paradise
We must live walled apart
else she destroy me
and I rake the shards of her past sins over her aging bones
Tuesday 9th January 2018 6:35 am
Summer will not find the grey boy
under the trees
hidden from sky
His pace knows no footfalls
his traveling shows no sign
He is unshaken
Mood deep as slumber
eye slits against the light
weighing his next terrible move
Winter easily discovers his hiding
trees are bare
nowhere to hide
And the cold splinters the hollows to his so...
Sunday 7th January 2018 11:53 pm
He is bound
he ain't going nowhere, folks!
most handsome face
oh, the Beautiful Men
the beautiful men
the corner of his eye
the corner of his mouth
Then another and another
Oh, the Beautiful Men
the beautiful men
Saturday 6th January 2018 7:52 am