Some other God
watched my birth
oversaw my childhood
and my clumsy growth
in adulthood
It saw me struggle
trying to fit in
on some crazy path
now It seems quiet
happy to let me slide
into my "dark night of the soul"
clawing towards my former contentment
Thanks for the input and insights. It is great to have a site where such thorough feedback is given.
Wonderful, the last line sums it up for me..
Clawing towards my former contentment.
?
Many thanks to you three for your comments. You make me reread my own poem with new eyes and possible insights.
<Deleted User> (18980)
Thu 8th Nov 2018 23:09
Hi Douglas - this follows on from a previous piece to do with loss of faith. I suppose the question is, where are you if the belief does not come back? Will this leave a massive hole in your life or will you learn to live with it? I'm sure this is something that happens a lot with believers generally but you don't hear of it much so your piece has perhaps broken new ground on here, at least in the recent past.
By the way, I'm not suggesting that you answer the question here.
Douglas,
This poem intrigues me for several reasons. Your refer to God as It which takes away gender identity which is fine. You acknowledge his involvement in your life possibly as a bystander to a point of abandonment when you speak of the Dark Night of the Soul a place where St John of the Cross found himself in his relationship with God, then a desire to return to a former situation. The Dark Night of the Soul from my understanding is a means whereby God withdraws from us in order for us to realise our need of him. Usually the Dark Night is not forever but a temporary period of spiritual darkness. This poem needs unravelling. I like it because it shows an inner aspect of your personal journey. My theological understanding is that there will be no need to claw back but a restoration of a relationship which you may think has gone forever.
A feeling of loss, detachment and abandonment are a part of the human condition. Your poem is a good attempt to articulate this
Thank you for a really good poem, one which will provoke a good deal of thought to the reader
Keith
If you wish to post a comment you must login.
This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.
raypool
Fri 9th Nov 2018 19:46
HI Douglas; my comment would concern your predicament in emerging into reality from a cocoon of received wisdom which may be alien to your needs; we can't possibly know what is right for us until life has knocked us. If we believe in damnation that may be bad news, but I think you must take life on the chin to grow.
I'll get my coat.
Ray