Real love is life threatening
It’s not serene, sweet, dream love
It’s not romantic, rainbow love
True love is torture
Gut wrenching pain
Hands and knees, love
Need it to breathe, love
It’s enough to put you away, love
But never pull you away, love
It’s masochistically addictive
It titillates and irritates
Possesses every bit
Until you have a fit...
Tuesday 23rd November 2021 11:15 am
Please use this scalpel to bleed the color from my veins
For now I know each measure of beauty comes with equal measure of pain
Oh, how cruel the price we pay, in the ignorant throes of joy
We revel without knowing what soon we will destroy
The world once bright, and hearts delight
Now stings this tearful eye
I never thought that you and me
would have to say goodbye
So as you leave, taking...
Sunday 7th November 2021 8:53 pm
This misery does not like company
Though I meet it for coffee each morning at 6
It shuns the beseeching touch of others
Though each night we sleep entwined like lovers
Or vagrants huddling together for warmth
This misery turns all words of praise to spite
Though it hovers by my shoulder all day like a proud parent
Or a voyeur perversely pleasured by my failures
This misery ha...
Wednesday 3rd November 2021 12:49 am
As pain and jealousy give way to wonder and gratitude , I realize the beauty of a love that opens ones eyes to life. The time between the yearned for reunion or unfathomable new beginning, fades like the forgotten darkness that comes in the blink of an eye. Whether a rekindling of old love - renewed by perspective - or the birth of new love - when one gathers the strength to carry the hole in thei...
Saturday 30th October 2021 2:21 am
Why when I look do I see only the wounds and not the victory they have bought?
Why, when I cast inward, are all that’s cast back the echoes of pain and not the gentle reminder of suffering’s end?
Why can I not express my feelings directly instead of disguising them in tedious metaphor?
What game do I play with myself and why am I surprised that even when I win I lose?
These thoughts be...
Saturday 30th October 2021 2:04 am
Am I mad to miss the pain of your loss?
After initially numb, flattened by the utterly incomprehensible gift of spiritual closure, of forgiveness,
I am now bereft.
Was this bloody burden truly such an integral appendage as to leave me stumbling at the absence of its crushing weight?
I seem to have forgotten the me that lay hidden beneath the shroud of loss. It’s cloying, gropi...
Saturday 30th October 2021 2:01 am
i never imagined living to this age
and maybe that’s why it all feels so surreal
the younger version of me lost hope so quickly
i never planned to reach this day
i don’t want to celebrate
i don’t want to blow out any candles
or open any gifts
i want to feel better
i’m spending the couple nights before i turn twenty relapsing alone in a cold room
there is nothing ...
Friday 29th October 2021 5:01 am
When she folded into herself
You all looked away
When she unraveled
You all watched
Wednesday 20th October 2021 1:01 am
You pushed the button.
Monday 11th October 2021 9:21 am
It’s hidden well, but I search deep within the crevices of your mind.
I interpret your words and actions to depict intention and longing, want and need.
They’re masked behind masculinity; hidden within the social construct that disallows you to be free....to feel.
That which praises to the appeal of lust; turns love to dust.
Strong enough to break a woman’s heart, but no strength to trust us.
Friday 1st October 2021 1:58 pm
Tuesday 7th September 2021 11:10 am
A heart full of hurt, wanting to unleash pain
A heart not strong enough to endure all
But I find solace in our times together
I give that which I can't get, I have what I can't give,
Our moments gives me nothing but peace
Did you regret it?
A knowable answer
Was it worth it?
A question never asked
But I find hope in my love.
I know nothing will change
Thursday 22nd April 2021 6:50 am