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A Night Time Stroll

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In honor of a night time stroll

I won’t let you down; you should say no more!

Here, take my hand.  Let’s walk out this door

to be young again, like we did before…


The air will be warm, a balmy night

We’ll grab beers to go and a smoke to light

As we make our way down an empty street

moon light, flood light, crickets on repeat


At the end right there an ancient house...

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Open Mike Night

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One night a week I go out for a beer

To visit with friends and seek out good cheer

Its open mike, tho I do not play

I do sing along and cheer away.

There's always the regulars, there's Jeff and there's John

And sometimes Bobby will be around

Newbies are cool and always a treat

But the show that can't ever be beat...

Malcolm! They always save him til the end

With his keyb...

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beercelebrationComradeshipfriendsfunopen mike

Why I Want to Own a Platypus

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I have this collection of wooden

birds from Bolivia. Parrot,

toucan, woodpecker, hummingbird,

owl, goose, duck, flamingo and a flock 

of small, nameless warblers

perch on convenient spaces

around my apartment. All native

to South America, they stir

memories and fill this indoor

air with silent song. On my last

trip to La Paz, I noticed a few

wooden platypuses for s...

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boliviafunlaughlight-heartedplatypussouth americatourist


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Glad to hear your voice 
Happy to be with you 
Always, you're very nice 
Whatever you say or do 


Lucky, to be your friend 
To share you fact and fun 
Forever together no end 
Shining heart as the sun 


Among thousand fans 
We're the mates in reality 
Sharing act and talks
Hearts believe in Honesty

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Be infinitely infinite into infinity

I’m a cycle

I’m a circle

I’m a forever

I’m always

Casting shadows on myself

Packing silver on the shelves

Plus! Plus! Plus! Plus!

I’m infinity

Maths was never my forte

You cannot minus or divide me

I’m a forever

I’m always

Smiling when the moon comes

Smelling for when Monday runs

I was reborn, refreshed

I can be ironed and pressed

Good as new

I’m ...

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Life in a small cul-de-sac

Life in a Small cul-de-sac (Not poetry per se, but a bit of fun I hope)


Life continues to be exciting in our small cul-de-sac. This evening saw the incident of the "blue-bin falling over". This brought everyone out to check and whilst the bin remained like an upside-down turtle, we pondered (whilst standing in the 50 mph winds) what could have caused such a disaster? It was finally decided...

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Unusual places

1.      Unusual places


I think of things

In the most unusual places

I thought of this

Whilst I was tying my laces


Others I’ve penned

A few, disturbingly, whilst sitting on the loo

They seemed to turn out alright

I just hope you thought so too


One sprang to mind

While I was brushing my hair

That proved a knotty one to finish

But I eventually got th...

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My boys

Who knew such joy before they were born

Who knew the joy they'd bring

As an only child no knowledge of this sibling thing

But life with my two boys became my greatest experience 

Brought me endless days of pure joy

They're so close, so different, so very much alike, the very best of friends

My best times ever are when we're all together 

Just sitting, eating and chatting, natu...

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Shopping and When I've Gone

1.      Shopping


Was doing some window shopping

As you do

On a quiet Sunday

Before you get your monthly pay


And then there she was

Completely stark bollock-naked!

Well, you know what I mean

For it was a She that I seen


She had a great figure

A lovely, healthy skin-tone

Although, not much hair

But, if I had to guess, it would be fair



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1.      Inspiration

With my pen

Tapping a rhythm on my teeth

Sounds better than it feels.

Clicking the nib of my pen

In and out, In and out

Slightly annoying

But, oddly, very satisfying


Those damn Beavers

They have blocked the flow

Words and rhymes have all dried up.

Staring, unseeing, out the window

Spinning around on my swivel-chair

Which, whilst child...

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I Wish

Sorry if I appear like the BBC, stupid repeats and all of that, but just having fun.  Hey poetry people, it IS allowed.  Sorry.

1.      I wish

Lots of words seem to end in ‘ish’

I think some are made-up, like easy-ish

But wait a minute, let’s not get too childish

And appear for one moment that I am being churlish


Some of them confuse me, like pigfish

Which is it?  A pig o...

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Poetic licence

1.      Poetic licence


Some poems are fun

Make me laugh and snigger

Some poems are sad

These are no laughing matter

Some poems are long

Some just right, others far, far too long

Some poems are short

Now they’re a relief

Some poems are tragic

Old Will the Bard was good at those I think

Some poems make no sense

I’m pretty good at those myself

Some poems ar...

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We were like ‘yin and yang’,

‘Spick and Span’

- Hot pot, big pan -

slick and tanned!

The could we can -

sweet, sweet like marzipan!

The kind of love that makes you FAT,

that attracts the sniff sniffing rats.

- Rap! Trap! Rat! The blind bats! -

But I walked and you ran,

I was kicked like tin-can

then you thought you were tin-man,

cause you forgot your heart ...

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confusedfunidentitylostrediscoveryreinventionrelationshipselfword play

The Vinyl Addicts Anonymous

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7 inch
12 inch
The look and sound makes me feel alive
Punk, Rock, Reggae and ska
Is the sounds I play from sound systems afar
The wheel is spinning
This man is grinning
The sound of a good record

Spend money I can't afford
On that one record
Its scratched sometimes
Comes with a hiss
But there isn't a sound I find more authentic than this
So when the needle hits the groove
No ti...

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funobsession musicvinyl records


OK I got a bit silly with this one. A woman said that words do not matter in poems. HELP!

I wanted to blow up. Poems are nothing more than a wonderful collection of special words to tell 

an amazing story. So here is a twist on "The cat walked down the street"




The slinky slithery siamese cat slipped and slid strutting down the slippery street...

silly but sw...

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funpoemtongue twister


Who could have known that's who he was

a man of Grump Land


His past added up to insecurity

that came out of his mouth

in the form of lampooning

Aspersion dribbled from his orifice

leaving a need for estuaries

in Grump Land for humans

to gain protection from his salty words


Yet there was a sweet spot

amongst the weeds and storms

A place he hid from mos...

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“Mum, what’s a laboratory?”


“Well son, it’s a place where

Men in white coats

With hair all over the place

Make exciting things

That fizz and bang and sometimes smell rotten”


“Dad, how can the moon be all those different shapes?”


“Because it’s clever and it can.”


“Mum, what’s a Policeman?”


“Well son, he’s very smart and helpful


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The things we say

1.The things we say


I suspect we are all guilty

Of saying things that just don’t make sense.

There are, of course, those oxymoronic little sayings

We all trot out every now and again.

I am guilty as charged, it’s an open secret

Old news if you will and, I would bet,

Even odds you have done it too.


So, whilst I silently scream and think “good grief”,

I do still ...

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FunI love my words

SOS Abort

I liar, that’s what I am

I roll my dice from in my hand

I sit upon my throne

Forged from pain

broken promises, pretty lies

They’re all the same

traction, I’m unable to gain

I’m slowly slipping into my old ways

I was getting better

Now it’s worse

Every Name I hear, I curse

But hers’

I cannot do that

she is perfect

she is sweet

I lay my life at her feet


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depressionfunhatejokeskindnesslieslovenot serioussoon to be deletedtorture

Daft again

1.Sounding my horn


I was zooming up the road

The other day

Saw you on the pavement

Walking towards me.

Put the window down

Gave a few loud hoots

Of my extremely loud horn

Stuck my arm out of the window hole, and waved.


Ah!  Oh dear!

Sorry if I startled you.

Made you jump.

Gave you a heart-attack.

Wrong person.

A genuine case of mistaken identity.


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1.The Prowler


He’s creeping, quietly, stealthily

Hugging close to the treeline

Remaining concealed in the shadows


Ears attuned to every sound

A small rustling sounds in the undergrowth

Brings him to a sudden halt


He’s standing still now – rigid – sniffing the air

Weighing the immediate threat.

Silence restored, inches forward again


Assessing the wa...

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Light hearted

1.Popping next door


I was in the kitchen one day

And Dad asked me to pop next door

And ask if they had any spare sugar


Not a big task I hear you say

Sounds pretty easy

Just to pop next door and ask


But the next door to us, that we don’t own

Is roughly five miles away

And that’s if I cut across the fields


I was tempted, to put it to Dad

That it w...

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A bit of fun

1.Wind in my hair


I sit proudly upon my very finest steed

Feel the power vibrating under my feet


Picking up speed now

Enjoying the rhythm and undulations


Love the Wind, blowing through my hair

Living dangerously, no hats for me.


I’m grinning manically, hear music in my head

Relaxing, just letting myself go


It was all going so swimmingly well


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Feb musings continued...

1.A birds-eye view of life


High up in my nest

King of all that I survey

Bedded down up on the crest

Watching carefully for my prey


Breathing slowly, breathing deep

Find that inner peace

Ready to inflict the eternal sleep

The provider of the final release


Lying and waiting for the go-ahead

Anticipation of the Green-light

The difference between alive o...

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The nines of the world curl, whole and enticing

Fat eights wobble but do not fall

Sevens sharply the space are slicing

Sixes are comforting, rock and cradle us all

Fives are boldly pregnant but sheltered

Fours chop up, down, over and square

Threes make promises, round and salted

Twos are monopods, stomping here and there

But ones like raindrops slip in, here ...

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Memories of old,

flooding fast through my mind,

some tinged with sadness

and some, sweet sublime.


A fireside reverie shared

with eyes so bright,

an audience of innocence

and excited delight.


The crackling logs        

on the fires of time,

the little rapt faces as

you feed them a line.


Of thunder, lightning,

and rain as we run!

Football, toy...

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If you've ever seen an ant

go whizzing by

faster than his friends and

with goggles on his eye's,

then without a doubt,

skidding through the plants,

you've met my friend Albert,

The skate-boarding ant.


From the day he was born

he was rushing around

hither and thither,

like a spring unwound.

His mum would despair,

“Albert, please stand still.

You need y...

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I Met God

I had a vision! or i heard him..

I Met God

I met god
in the form of a urinal
told me he wasn't a DJ
nor did he spin vinyl
but when we made the connection
his tap into my system felt spinal
he spoke equolent, his words final:

"now keiron,
recently i haven't heard you pray
and tell me are you practicising to be good, ten times a day?"

I felt bewildered
and put this voice down to a h...

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funnew stuff.poetrypunk poetry

Cat Ass Trophies

In Dalston, London, where we lived for a spell,

we saw many stray cats & some were unwell.

From having just one cat of our own at the start,

we soon had 3 living with us but soon one had to part.


Poor Tommy had been our first and always on the hop,

but from the fits he was having that the vet could not stop

it soon became clear he was in danger so the time came

when we wa...

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If The World Was Going To End

If the world was going to end,
And all life was going to bend,
Then I know what I would do,
And It involves me and you.
Jack is first to arrive,
Then some Yeager to survive,
Whiskey's next on the list,
And captain Morgan won't be missed.
We drink and slurp all night long,
Because there is nothing left to go wrong,
We walk down the empty road,
Talking in o...

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AlcoholFunpoetryWorld End

Don't Write Hungry

A really good sandwich,

Has two pieces of bread,

(we all know the club is compensating)

Is void of mayonnaise,

But has in its stead,

(Mayonnaise is for the self-deprecating)

A nice bit of mustard,

And a sharp slice of Ched…dar.

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Magic spun
that long weekend in the sun
Walled in by barking mad
hip-hop slinging
fairy lighted
sprightly spun
oak aged treetop conductors of fun.
The grass we lay upon
be our blanket
The songs we sung
Need no rhythm. Rhyme       nor reason
As rules are broken 
and hedonism reigns all.
Tranquil, serene, only to be seen by eyes who wish ...

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Festivalfreedomfunthe wild


There was a fight down at the beach today

Much to my horror and surprise

A large crowd stood there watching it

I could not believe my eyes


I saw a man who had a stick

Proceed to beat his wife

Blow on blow and on her head

To an inch within her life


The frenzied crowd just screamed for more

With a loud and raucous din

I got there as the Police turned up


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beachcrowdsfightfunpuppet master

The last Act

Billy Bog owned a frightful dog

Lucifer was his name

With short cropped hair and fangs all bared

Locals called beware as they ran off scared,


As Billy strutted down the street

In his big baggy T-shirt and big flat feet

A frail old lady was hobbling by

Her pension clutched tightly by her side,


Billy, concerned by his lack of cash

Decided to give the old girl a b...

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Holi - The Colourful Festival


Holi – The Festival


Yellow green and orange

lot other varied shades.


Spell cultural harmony

even after festivity fades.


Different cross sections

all diversities are defined.


Everyone comes together

this day one would find.


Heralds change of season

sort of an age old trend.


With overthrow of the evil

all goodness must ex...

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Beer, glorious beer. It’s such a great thing that anyone can experience.

As for me I like ice-cold strong lager and a pint of real ale with the kick of a mule,

they all get you pissed if you have ten pints, so let’s have some more, it’s so much fun.

Beer comes in all shapes and sizes from all over the world,

from Chinese rat piss to Dutch thunder brew.


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bowie (if you didn't know)

rag my workaday clothes on the hobo tree

the messianic alien has descended once more

from the canyons of manhattan to remind all

and sundry just what we’ve been missing

more avuncular, maybe?, than those times before

but lay down the prayer beads and rosary

a wonderful day has arrived

(available on vinyl, download and cd)

less vanguard of the wired new wierd


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david bowiefun

Halloween Is Here

Halloween is here tonight, and all will seek to brave a fright,
as people come and people go, wherever pumpkins are on show...

The sweets are rattling in the tin, what flavours are to be had within,
and who has worn the scariest mask, as midnight comes that's what we ask…

Back home the children all wear smiles, their feet aglow from walking miles,
and as they drink some heated milk, i...

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The Dentist

This is a recording of my reading of The Dentist.  The poem is on my profile, but I've posted it again below.


The Dentist

 I really must visit the dentist

 It’s been on my mind for some time

 But I’m really not keen on revealing

 The things that he’s likely to find

 He’ll say “Oh good grief, just look at your teeth

 I’m afraid they’re far from the cleanest


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The Myth Of The Perfect Man

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The Myth Of The Perfect Man
The perfect man does not exist
And if he did would soon be kissed
By all those waiting for the event
So soon his energy would all be spent
Indeed his lips would be so chaffed
Swollen while his breath was gasped
Poor guy his chances seem so slim
No one would call him Lucky Jim
Without some clones ...

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C’mon lads – equal opportunities, join up for your country,

we need you to do your service. Meat grinder of death needs oiling

with your body fat and intestines.

You’ll get a medal for your success, tell your grandchildren

of your valour and heroism.

I want your blood to flow down the street,

turn it red, slippery like myself.


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deathdevilequal opportunitiesfunkillsatanviolencewarweapons

'She said / He said'

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'She said / He said'

She mocked me
With full intent
Her tongue like a razor
To slice right through me
Attack! Attack!

“This is not Poetry” she said
“It doesn’t even rhyme”
As I turned to her and said

“By your command...
But my inner self
Is not on demand
It’s not as fine
As the grains of sand
But also... not so bland”

She turned
Just like her look
She went away

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bsafe1stalwaysfunfunnyJohn Harrisonlight heartedpoempoetpoetryspoken wordthepoetjohn

Like Petals In The Wind


Like Petals In The Wind
He said "I met them all on line you know,
but so many are now lost from view,
some folk are like petals in the wind
when we can't see them, I wonder can you?"
I said " I have an inkling that
I may have seen one or two,
tell me were they pink sir?"
He said, oh no, mine were all blue."
To this I then replied "Sir,...

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The Apprentice

The Apprentice

"I saw it all"
said the witness
"For I am the carpenter"
head down, foot up,
arm stretching ever more...

"Try to keep it to that line
hold it straight and true."
Teeth vibrating every stroke
board slipping, blood dripping,
from the deep cut then resulting.

"Darn it!"
Said the seamstress
"A stitch in time
you know will save nine."
Came forth from her needle tongue.


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All Butt All

All Butt All


Barely bothered as he lay down his weary head
Life was so much hassle, he just wished he could be dead

The medics kept his ticker beating as it should
But at what quality of living, he felt none understood

It's a dog's life he thought with such irony
If I had but been a dog, wouldn't they end this misery

Brighter days were now few and so far between
His memories s...

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School Rules

School Rules


I have to say with words I play so much it ires some peeps

But those that like to listen still are my friends for keeps

Whilst back in school my rhymes did rule too much from time to time

In English class acceptable but in History t'was viewed a crime


One day we had to tell the tale of Henry and his wives

But I was bored and pepped it up with a few comic as...

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Winter On The Trailer


Back in the mid seventies, I spent some time working with a company that specialised in organizing sales based around taking container loads of goods direct to the car parks of large factories so that staff could purchase goods at rather low prices for the day. One time we had a real struggle due to the temperature falling very low overnight. I wrote this while shivering on the van...



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Dusty Books

Dusty Books


I'm a poet 

Not a mechanic

If the rhyme breaks down

Should I panic?


For each syllable stretch

And stumbling scan

Do I search for another

Or act like a man


Must the purpose I scribe

Be for passing a test

Or maybe some mention

Of a tale with some zest


I think the audience tell 

If they like it or not

And may offer a silence


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