I

i'll be honest,
I refuse to love you. 
my chest sits in knots 
even in this revelation
the would-be butterflies remain trampled
and God knows they fly all around him
im not sure they even had the chance
to cocoon, your slime-gripped words
of small flames devoured their bloom.
No. Yes. No, im not bitter. Im selfish. 
I'm greedy with want, a desire-is-me factory of production
I hold ...

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Oh beloved 

Flying high 

God may have taken you back early to those you left behind 

What was yours on earth your precious connections 

To each other " we" each other were just stories and experiences solemnly yours although you would share so precisely the beauty you embraced 

In each individual 

It was like you connected us through your own sentiment whilst playing your songs 

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I seek myself

Fighting demons in my head

I fight a battle daily in my head

These voices in me try to bring me down

Saying I'm not good enough

My chest aches

As though a stone presses on me

My lungs gasp with stifling air

Feeling short of breath

I suffocate with my head barely above water

As much I may try to avoid it

It always finds me in the quiet

Robbing me of...

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To hold you in my arms one last time

To feel your touch even though I knew you weren’t really mine

To feel your lips touch mine and again feel your love 

Hoping, dreaming, wishing I could bring you back 

Hoping, dreaming, wishing to fix this shattered heart

But a touch, a kiss, my love wasn’t enough 

You’re not coming back 

You’ve chosen 

And it’s clear now

Your love is ...

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