I'm glad you enjoyed the Tower. It's nice when an image finds its mark in the imagination. The indented words was a fluke but i'll go there again if it works.
You might enjoy Gormenghast Trilogy by Mervyn Peake who revels in that shady past thing and the weight of the unfathomable past.

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Thanks Ray :) Your words are very encouraging. I'm happy you liked my work.

Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)

Original item by ray pool

Good Morning John,

Many thanks for the comment on "...And Along Came Jeremy". Refreshing to hear you say that you like the poem even if you don't entirely agree with the opinion expressed within.

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Hi Harry,

Thanks for your comments on "...And Along Came Jeremy"

Ledger

Comment is about Harry O`N eill (poet profile)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

Thanks for the (very heartening) comment on '...And Along Came Jeremy'. Cheers, Ledger

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

got you. its a good metaphor, especially for poets and one i should have tattooed on my mouse clicking hand! i dont think you need worry about things being to personal, the imagery and language makes you want to be inside your head, even if you have no reason why. i love the films of david lynch for this very reason. i leave each one annoyed and in wonder.

Comment is about Zach Dafoe (poet profile)

Original item by Zach Dafoe

You really are way too kind.
I like treading the line of too verbose and too vague, even if it's completely by accident. sometimes i forget that other people don't live inside my head and a lot of my writing (especially looking into last year and backward) has a lot more internal meaning that comes off jilted when someone else reads it. too much context is bad. not enough is worse.

the parable begins when a neighbor comes to visit the farmer. as he walks up the long pavestone path to the front porch, he hears this horrible yelping and howling coming from round back.
"What the hell is that raquet?!"
"My dog. He's sitting on a nail on the back porch."
"Why doesn't he just get up and move? Why doesn't he make it stop?"
The farmer thoughtfully puffed on his corncob pipe, exhaled, uncocking his head with the answer:
"It must not hurt enough yet."

a fallen mastery is knowing when to get off the nail.
I've yet to fully recognize this.

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Hello,
Nope, not heard it. Enlighten me!
I always enjoy your work, its surreal and wise, treacle thick with language and meaning. im not one for overly-wordy stuff (which probably shows in the previous sentence) as i feel it dilutes meaning, but you have a great mix. your longer pieces are like walking through twin peaks after a bomb dropped.
so, the farmers dog?

Comment is about Zach Dafoe (poet profile)

Original item by Zach Dafoe

good morning stu
thank you for reading me.
doomed loved is my speciality. I don't think I've ever had anyone break down my writing so succinctly. sometimes it's better to start with a feeling, abstract and big (impossibly vast), fuzzy and fluid, then work down into the details of a mortal word with a slight taper bridging the two.

I've been accidentally using it a lot lately. Probably a byproduct of those powerfully estranged feelings I get during karaoke hours.

Have you ever heard the metaphor of the farmers' dog?

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Thanks James, hope you weren't too psyched.
Thank you for reading :)

Comment is about James Roper (poet profile)

Original item by James Roper

Thanks for reading and commenting, Martin. I'll throw you a rubber ring!

Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)

Original item by Martin Elder

Thanks for reading and commenting, Martin. I'll throw you a rubber ring!

Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)

Original item by Martin Elder

Hello - me again! Do we have a theme for the next Stockport WOL? - if so, please could someone let me know what it is? - Thanks so much, Dorinda x

Comment is about Stockport WoL (group profile)

Original item by Stockport WoL

Ray, thank you for your encouraging comments on War of Words.

regards,

Graham

Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)

Original item by ray pool

Thanks Cynthia - very kind over generous words. I've been away awhile and this is the first poem i've finished in some months so glad you liked it.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Hello there! I really do appreciate your feedback so there's no chance of telling you where to go. I post poems here for honest and open comments, as it's not easy writing in isolation as I'm not part of any local groups. You are right about the lines and I can see it now you have pointed it out - much appreciated as always, Katy x

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thank you Martin!

Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)

Original item by Martin Elder

Stu, thanks for the comment on 'Just You'. (and for understanding being lost.)

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Cynthia, I cannot thank you enough. Not only for your comment on 'Just You' but all of your comments and suggestions. I am very new to sharing and just fully getting back into writing and it is really refreshing to have a person take an interest to the point of offering suggestions and opinions. So, thank you one more time. :)

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I was thinking about 'did' and 'does' again, as you pointed out in 'Upon the winds of change'. You have an excellent point about space-filling, like 'the' and 'an' etc. I have reworked many prior poems eschewing those very words, and achieving better poetry, I think. Some years back it was a fellow WOLer who took me seriously to task, and greatly assisted my 'work'. I really appreciated his interest and suggestions.

In the example given, I did debate their use. As well as stretching a correct metre (thank the gods) I wanted the emphasis of command inherent in the verbal mood. And the prior poets did not hesitate to use them. So - there they are. I don't think I could go through all the brain strain necessary to alter them. Many thanks for your comments.

'contracted to complain' was delightful.

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Tia here is a link to the Canterbury Tales translated into English.

english.fsu.edu/canterbury/

Comment is about Unabridge_soul (Tulika) (poet profile)

Original item by Unabridge_soul (Tulika)

Howdy Cynth :)

Ha, well I have a confession to make. Although I've been a total music anorak for almost all my life, I never really 'got' classical. It wasn't around me, I never listened to it, and the only time I did it was coming in or out of assembly in primary school.

So hearing Finlandia had a massive effect on me. Not only did it sound EXACTLY how I was feeling, it was also the first real bit of classical music I had ever liked. It's kickstarted a total obsession btw - I am listening to classical AND Finlandia itself all the time now!

Your deal sounds ace btw :D

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Cheers for the input on Blackpool. You have it in the bag there. I find it a sad place from my perspective, and had to work there for long periods. Out of season is beyond depression, especially on the long outskirts.
I'm glad you like my quirky simple stuff!

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Sure does, Nigel!

Comment is about Nigel Astell (poet profile)

Original item by Nigel Astell

Thank you Cynthia, when I read your poem "The Parting", it stirs up that same sad but lovely feeling...

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

The lady will put a sock in it! :)

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

No problemo - kick some arse! I can't believe you didn't practise ha :D You'll find it makes you much more confident. Best of luck - let me know how it went :)

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Great tips, thanks ever so much. I actually never rehearse, much to my detriment. I will start though. The breath thing I always do, but the practice slow idea is brilliant. I have a 15 minute slot at the Castle Inn in Manchester on Wednesday so will use the tips you have given me to blow them away!

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Thanks for your comments on the Dylan Thomas piece, Dave. I had the crazy idea while down in Wales that those of a certain mind might have to move to Wales or Scotland in the future, and leave England to the little Englanders. Of course, the north would have to secede as well.

Comment is about Dave Morgan (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Morgan

You may Tommy. There is a similarity but you use your words so much better. I am not fishing for a counter compliment but credit where credit is due and it is a fact. My observation came from the two young lovers who sit, heads touching at my dining table pouring over their A level algebra. They had their first year results yesterday so I blogged in celebration! ;)

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

I Need Minds

Sunday 10th January 2010 2:07 am (first posted Wednesday 6th January 2010 12:24 am)
....Ann, l came across this post by yourself "thisI like this too, it's subtle. And I always like .... dots in things - for some reason! I go to a local writing group and there was a new person there who said I shoudn't start a sentence with "And" !!! Pah!!! Might leave, or just start EVERY sentence with AND! Don't know why I'm gelling you this, thought you might understand. xx" Soo same as me too as well...xx Tommy ..

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Howdy Stu! Just wanted to say I am loving all the different styles you are kicking out. They are all like a daily surprise and I look forward to each new one :)

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Thank you for your comment on 'I AM...' :) Very much appreciated.

Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)

Original item by Martin Elder

Hi Tommy
Thanks for your comments on down the pub. I think I prefer witherspoons as opposed to the alternative.
Cheers
Martin

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Thank you for all your lovely comments! I am so busy at work crunching numbers I wonder why I ever went to LSE to do this work! I will definitely want to see what you created, so just bear with me till I finish with the madness @ work.

Comment is about Corr Lens (poet profile)

Original item by Corr Lens

Howdy Stu

Ha - thank you :) Well, I've been doing this for five years now! It might help if I told you that for the first two years, I spent the entire day before doing an open mic wanting to erupt from every orifice! I had shocking nerves! It does get easier the more you do it, trust me. And open mics are a wonderfully supportive space to learn your craft cos everyone knows how terrifying it is :) I still get nervous, but now it's mainly a brief feeling of 'shit I'm gonna pass out' right before I get on stage hehe :D

Hard-won advice:

Practice is EVERYTHING. Speak it out loud repeatedly. Do it until it sounds like it felt in your head when you wrote it - that's one of the hardest things to actually get right. Make your mouth used to the words. Find the pauses. Don't be afraid of them - they are powerful things.

Practice much slower than your actual performance will be. EVERYONE speeds up behind a mic. This will ensure that when the time comes, there will be balance.

Remember that no one wants you to fail. They all want you to do well.

If you're getting up on a stage and taking up other people's time however, make it fun/enjoyable/heartbreaking for them :) Don't you want them to feel exactly how you felt when writing the poem? Can't you feel how Jeff Mangum feels?

When you stand behind the mic, take a nice deep breath down to your gut. It takes a couple of seconds, no one will notice, and it will steady you and provide much-needed oxygen! Stops the initial vocal wobble too :)

Good luck and keep writing :)

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

your youtube performances are fab! ive only just started doing open mics and its nerve wracking. you look like you dont suffer!

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

My apologies for my early departure yesterday evening: I wasn't feeling too well (think I've been overdoing things somewhat; trying hard to stop doing so!) Thank you so much for your concern: I just love being part of this group! See you next time for the full two hours!!!
Love, Dorinda x

Comment is about Stockport WoL (group profile)

Original item by Stockport WoL

My apologies for my early departure yesterday evening: I wasn't feeling too well (think I've been overdoing things somewhat; trying hard to stop doing so!) Thank you so much for your concern: I just love being part of this group! See you next time for the full two hours!!!
Love, Dorinda x

Comment is about Stockport WoL (group profile)

Original item by Stockport WoL

Louise 'boobs' reminds me of my granny and her sisters some how. Tommy

Comment is about Louise Etheridge (poet profile)

Original item by Louise Etheridge

Hi Cynthia

Advice appreciated! Tis done and looks a lot better - thank you!

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks MC for enjoying and commenting on Mary CMIT.
It tangles you up a bit but comes out right at the end!

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Hi Ray,
Thanks for reading and getting the point behind my words :0
Your sample piece is brilliant. Can I offer a more in depth critique of your work? I cannot, except I know what appeals to me as a lay reader, something that resonates with me :)
Preeti

Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)

Original item by ray pool

Thank you so much for your comment on D.T.
I am never sure whether to reply there or here. So this thank you may be overkill but it is here none the less. ;)

Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)

Original item by Martin Elder

Cheers Ray re 'tasty flesh'. You have a good grasp of the thrust of the piece.

Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)

Original item by ray pool

Cynthia- re Vertices lll, 'yet' means that despite the folding of the paper, this new alignment of words - the syntax of the letter remains. Folding the letter can not obliterate its content. Tommy

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Hello Harry, thank you very much for reading and commenting on Perfect.
This has been hiding in the notebook for some years and I finally (in desperation) finished it off and put it out there.
I'm really not au-fait with the poetry technical terms but appreciate your kind comments as always.

My very best regards,

Graham

Comment is about Harry O`N eill (poet profile)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

Your iconic 'eye' is a master stroke. It could be male or female. I'm still uncertain whether it is famed by fabric or long leaves; the texture suggests 'plant' wrapped about a human face. Either way, the picture is mind-startling. I was glad to see it again.

I remember the famous photo of the green-eyed girl from Afghanistan, Time magazine cover, years ago.

Comment is about David Blake (poet profile)

Original item by David Blake

thank you for your comments..please do read some more :) ill have a look at yours x

Comment is about Corr Lens (poet profile)

Original item by Corr Lens

Hi Cynthia Thanks for lovely coment on my Bruegel poem. It's a piece that has caused me endless problems over the years. I've been trying to sort it out for a new selection of my poems. The version here has had radical surgery, but after the comment of some of my poetry friends I am moving back closer to the original which has 4 X 6 line stanzas, but still hopefully sorting out some bits that weren't quite right. I'm glad that you like it. I often worry that it is the kind of thing that doesn't have much appeal these days!

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas