They Sent Santa to Rwanda
Breaking News ...
They sent Santa to Rwanda
He didn’t want to go
The reindeer got deported too
That’s the last they’ll see of snow
In attempting to circumvent border control
It was deemed an illegal immigration
Caught in the lights of the aerial patrol
With no proof of destination
Now he’s in a detention place
The subject of arrest
They’ve digitised (and 3D scanned) his face
He’s been fast tracked and processed
Secure in the holding facility
Alongside Mrs Santa Claus
A spokesperson says if we let them in
We’ll be inundated on these shores
It’s not just the couple themselves
But their entire entourage;
Helpers, snowmen, reindeer, elves
“It’s the tip of the iceberg” remarked Farage
There is no import licence for live ungulates, like deer
So Rudolf, Dancer, Prancer - you are no longer welcome here
We have zero trading arrangements in place with the North Pole
So you won’t even get in as venison; quartered, halved or whole
The first flight to Rwanda will depart on Christmas Day
You will be on it, Santa, and we’ll confiscate your sleigh
Without a visa to support you, you have no future, Mr Claus
And Christmas has been put
Indefinitely on pause
R A Porter
Fri 29th Dec 2023 08:41
Thanks again everybody. I find all news sources on any major issue pretty depressing I’m afraid (including The Guardian!). There is so little analysis and so much superficiality, when what we need now more than ever is deeper understanding. My (increasingly occasional) day job is in communications and it’s awful to see not only how important decisions in government are being made transparently for crude PR reasons and/or personal advancement, but also how terribly they are communicated via leaks, three word slogans, crap social media videos etc. It’s as if we are all in the Looking-Glass World and trying to make sense of stuff that is truly beyond parody. Help!!