The Rocky Horror Picture Show



The Rocky Horror Picture Show


The Rocky Horror Picture show

Where blokes dress up in drag

Audience participation

Not really my bag


But I liked the thought of dressing up

So thought I’d give it a go

And no excuses needed, at

The Rocky Horror Picture Show


I searched the house…for feminine garb

Like basques, fishnets, suspenders

Or anything to blur the lines

And reunite both genders


Mi Granny kept her lingerie

In a box… under her bed

And she doesn’t need em anymore

Seen as how she’s dead


You wouldn’t believe the stuff in that box

Mi grandad din’t know he was born

There was masks and whips and handcuffs

And mi grandad’s best stash of old porn


I found this funny item

Which baffled me because

When I picked it up…. It started buzzing

…..And I don’t know what that was


EURIKA I found ‘em… her dressing up kit

Under her whips and her masks

There were stockings and bras and suspenders

And a sexy selection of basques



I squeezed missen into mi dead granny’s basque

And taped back mi dangly bits

Then found a pair of oranges

To improvise as tits


It’s ironical that I used fruit

To get the right affect

I usually wear a rubber jumpsuit

With a banana down mi kecks


I admired missen in the mirror

And practiced mi pelvic thrust

I could time-warp with the best of em

And bounce my citric bust


Mi mother looked at me, and said

You’re not going out dressed like that

Tha’ll catch thi bloody death o’ cold

Mek sure you tek an hat


I got the next bus into town

In my sexy silk adornment

And proudly walked the High Street

To the front doors the Gaumont


Knuckles Hardman was the usher

A grizzly mean old git

Who eyed me… in mi lingerie

With oranges for tits


He turned the air quite blue

I’d never heard such swearing

It was effin this and effin that

And what the eff are you wearing


I explained how it was normal

As everyone should know

And that’s what folk are wearing for

The Rocky Horror Picture Show


He said….It’s not the Rock Horror Picture Show

It’s Rocky… you daft twat

A boxing film… with Sly Stallone

Tha can’t come in ‘ere dressed like that


He looked me up and down, and said

Tha looks a proper berk

But I finish mi shift in half an hour

…. Can I meet you after work

◄ Armadillo... Draught British Sherry

Oh Poseur me ►


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kJ Walker

Fri 9th Jun 2023 07:11

Thank you John.
If ever I do get round to bringing a book out I'll put this one in it.

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kJ Walker

Fri 9th Jun 2023 07:09

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John Botterill

Tue 6th Jun 2023 16:47

Absolutely fantastic, KJ. Loved it all. You are back with a bang!
Make sure it goes into your new book! 😀😎

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kJ Walker

Tue 6th Jun 2023 15:18

Many thanks to everyone who has commented and liked this one.
It's much appreciated.
Cheers Kevin

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Stephen Gospage

Mon 5th Jun 2023 07:20

Fantastic poem, KJ. I love Rocky Horror and still have the urge to play Brad Majors one day.

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Kevin Tan

Mon 5th Jun 2023 06:36

No you didn't... Jesus Christ. This is really comical 😂

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Stephen Atkinson

Sun 4th Jun 2023 22:12

Brilliant ☺️

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kJ Walker

Sun 4th Jun 2023 18:50

Thank you Uilleam, Keith, John and MC.
A happy ending indeed.
It's 50 years since the the rocky horror show first came out, and it showed some of the audience on the telly, that was the inspiration for this one.
I think I may do it live on Thursday, though I usually fluff them when they are fresh and new.

Cheers Kevin

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M.C. Newberry

Sun 4th Jun 2023 15:50

A chuckle-rich treat which might also be titled "GETTING YOUR ROCKYS OFF"! Surely one for a "live" performance?

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John Coopey

Sun 4th Jun 2023 13:24

Top notch, Kevin. One for Thursday.

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keith jeffries

Sun 4th Jun 2023 12:27

I nearly laughed my tits off with this magnificent verse. As always you never disappoint your readers. From where do you conjure up such scenarios? They are a 'must' read. Brilliant!
Thanks for this,

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Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh

Sun 4th Jun 2023 11:11

A story with a happy ending😊

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