Change
I get nostalgic for a kind of suffering
That lingers on the fingertips of broken words
and half lit cigarettes
Of forgotten fallacies
That trip on the existential drip
Of lyrics lost to pens without ink
Of wine glasses, filled to the brim
And bags of freedom
Found between sirens fingertips
Of desire for change
Out of habits that just stay the same
And cycles that repeat...
Wednesday 3rd November 2021 2:15 am
Whole
09.10.21
I'm not a broken vase
Not pieces put back together with golden glue
Not some fragile, broken thing
You can't cut yourself on me anymore.
You kept trying to hold me together
To put flowers in me and show me off, so proud
But I'm not a vase,
Never was
Saturday 9th October 2021 1:12 pm
If They're Good So Are You
28.09.21
It gets better,
a friend once said
You’re not a bad person
Shouldn’t wish you were dead
Everyone is their own worst critic,
He said to me
And when he needs an ear,
I listen intently
We swap stories,
One back and one forth
Lighten the load,
Keep each other on course
When friends are down
I feel it too
When people are sa...
Wednesday 29th September 2021 1:47 pm
The Boy Who Never Wanted To Grow Up
29.09.21
You won’t go to therapy
Your clothes everywhere
It is because your Daddy never cared?
Run away from your problems
Change friends all the time
Is that why you smoke weed all the time?
Sheets unwashed
And wine every day
No wonder you pushed all your friends away
Video games are a way of life
Abandoning problems
like it depends on...
Wednesday 29th September 2021 1:43 pm
Detached
19.04.21
These arms are not mine
Legs dissconnected
From a body that doesn't belong to me
Hands that touch but do not feel a thing
Eyes that look but see right through
And a mouth that talks, disconnected from me
Dissociated states
Keep me away from me
Bring me home
Put me back in my body please
Monday 24th May 2021 11:48 am
Escape
03.04.21
Empty spaces
Filled to the brim
With everything that won't make you feel
The same as you did before
Monday 24th May 2021 11:42 am
Addict
April 2021
This train will stop
When you get off
Till then keep riding
Round in circles you go
Around a track, never ending
Till you get off and go
Filling your veins
With things of all kinds
Caffeine and cigarettes,
They'll do just fine
Fill your lungs
With every kind of poison
And stare out the window longingly
Wondering why life stays the same
If it's sta...
Monday 24th May 2021 11:39 am
Fear
02.04.21
Heart so fast I'd rival a mouse
Darting eyes, fast breath
Don't look at me now
Checking my phone so often
It's hot in my hands
Don't get too close
Especially if you're a man
My hands shake with fear
And my breath quick with worry
My leg taps a song
Like it's also in a hurry
I jump at the sight
Of shadows on pavement
Can't sleep at night
Sick with worry...
Monday 24th May 2021 11:29 am
Dissociated States
15.03.21
I'm in my body for tonight
Present in my head
And my fingers and my toes
But what of when the tide turns
And we shift into dissociated states
Clinging to anything that gets me away from me
Holding space for anything that is an escape
I'm in my body for tonight
But tonight is not forever
So enjoy is while is lasts
Monday 24th May 2021 11:21 am
24.09.20
Tick tick tick
Tap tap tap
The clock ticks down
On an inevitable time bomb
That is my collapse
You're the only thing keeping me together
A solid foundation
You never let me down
Or abandon me
Coz there's nothing you need from me
Except perfection
Show up at meetings
Plan everything
Be everything, for everyone
I can be a wreck
But I'm the perfect p...
Monday 24th May 2021 11:15 am
Unlovable
24.09.20
She's a lot
Too much
For her self
Or anybody else
Keep giving
And pouring
Into a never ending void
Keep loving
The unlovable
And I'll tear you apart too
You sampled the poisen
And it tasted so sweet
Just enough to make you sick
Stay with me
If you want
I won't beg
Monday 24th May 2021 11:10 am
For Lease
16.09.20
Empty space
A hole to fill up
A vacant vessel
An empty lot
This soul is for rent
At the cheapest price
Give me joy, give me compliments
And I'll make your night
A house made a home
And weekends made perfect
Just tell me I'm pretty
Make me feel worthy
But take it away and I'll tear don these walls
Rip this house to the ground
And spit on the floor
My...
Monday 24th May 2021 11:06 am
Hurting / Healing
31.08.21
I was waging war on my body before it had even fully grown
No respect for the temple that houses my soul
With cuts, and drugs and other people's limbs
I have shown her little she is respected
And expected her to carry on as though she were
Countless sleepless nights and 'just one more drink'
And I have pushed her to her limit
She's crying out for acknowledgement
No more ...
Tuesday 18th May 2021 12:26 pm
Broken
27.07.20
I am a shattered vase
Pieces picked from the floor
And placed back together.
Sharp broken shards
Holding on with everything I've got
Just trying to keep the water in
Pretending I'm in tact
Not a shattered broken thing
From afar I'm a vase
Unlike any other
Proudly displaying flowers of many kinds
But get too close and you can see my cracks
Try to touch me and you ...
Tuesday 18th May 2021 12:07 pm
Truth
July 2020
Find your vibe
Look for your tribe
Listen with intention
And learn the lessons that the universe wants to tell you
Open your eyes
The one in your mind
Look for the truth
It's all around
Tuesday 18th May 2021 12:03 pm
Pathetic Fallacy
26.07.20
Droplets fall
And puddles pool
And I am feeling the chill of lonliness
Thunder claps
And rainfall quickens to a roar
And my words fall on deaf ears
The birds are hiding away
And the sun won't come out to play
And we are emotional strangers in our own home
How many times can we talk about the same thing without it changing?
How many rainy days will there be
Bef...
Monday 17th May 2021 10:26 am
Recharge
27.06.20
Days spent doing nothing
Are not a waste at all
Time to replensh
And let sparkle restore
Charge your phone
Charge your batteries
Why not yourself?
So wrapped in productivity
You forget to charge yourself
Monday 17th May 2021 10:05 am
Addiction
June 2020
Deep unquenchable thirst
that permeates my teeth,
And tickles like a feather
grazing a phantom limb.
Scatches like a itch
in a place you can't reach
Claws at your willpower
and begs
for just
one
more
Monday 17th May 2021 10:02 am
Unreserved
May 2020
Never have I ever
Loved someone with my whole heart
Until you
Loving was a game I wanted to win
Who can care less?
Who'll leave first?
Who needs the other least?
One foot out the door
And I always "won"
Sometimes I fall
Into old habbits
And down well worn paths
But one look and I'm done
Preparred to lay down my sword
Head on the chopping block
And heart...
Friday 14th May 2021 11:53 am
Paradox Girl
19.05.20
I must be soft spoken but outspoken
Have I got that right?
Opinionated by reverant
Am I correct?
Brave and independent whilst right by your side
A perfect listener who contributes just the right amount to make you feel heard
I must be loyal and dedicated
Present
But not when you're busy
A perfect girl in your perfect world
Who you'll make into your perfect wife
...
Friday 14th May 2021 11:38 am
Helping
05.05.2020
I can feel you're scared.
Anxiety a rubber band wound tightly around your heart
Dread like nails pinning down your feet where you stand
Despair, sitting in your stomach, churning evermore
You carry sadness around on you
It poisens your words
Flattens your hair
Wrinkles your clothes
The sad stench of it radiates through your pores
And if I can take it away,
If I...
Friday 14th May 2021 11:18 am
Friends
People need people,
Compassion brings change
Ideas fly
Magic happens
Energy is never created or destroyed
It is passed between people
Shared between friends
Rubbed together and transferred
Like hair to a balloon
I'll take some of your sadness
You share some of my joy
And together we might just float
We'll balance each other out and cruise down the river
Two bottles bob...
Friday 14th May 2021 11:13 am
Hoop
06.04.20
A circular ceremony
A weighted embrace
Flowing free and being me
Living for the spin and feeling weightless in its flow
Inside this circle no one can touch me and I am whole
The centre of my own universe connected to the earth and the sky
A child playing in a hoop
Thursday 13th May 2021 1:39 pm
Childhood
25.03.20
A warm wired cage
Flickering with heat
And the promose of a future filled with family
An empty room of an empty man waiting for life
And a question from a little girl,
"Where is all the furniture?"
A backyard and a garden
A family of merry
A birthday party torn asunder by a virus
And a little girl crying in her bed alone
A Christmas filled with trampolines
Box...
Thursday 13th May 2021 10:16 am
Paranoia
25.03.20
When your brain is used to trickery
It eats itself alive
Deceit is all you know
And the way you have survived
Be vigilant with friends
And vigilant with foes
On guard for lies so constantly
Analysis in tow
Are they truthful in their words?
Your brain it analyses
Putting piece and piece together
A puzzle it disguises
There's a slip says your mind
Some evidence...
Thursday 13th May 2021 10:08 am
My Poetry Book
A book all of my own
Where ideas have a place to play
Weary thoughts a place to rest
And ideas a place to ponder.
Pages bound by glue and press
Waiting for a friend to give them meaning
A purpose oh so simple
Yet so profoundly special to me
Thursday 13th May 2021 9:53 am
Rain
25.03.20
Thunder rumbles and I wonder
What change will this bring?
The sky darkens, and clouds swell
Pregnant with the promise of rain
A single drop begins to fall
And our apcalypse garden sings with new life
Thursday 13th May 2021 9:46 am
Rush Hour
09.03.20
It's in these moments of haste
That I find solitude
With a mind so busy
This is the time to stop and be still
Thursday 13th May 2021 9:41 am
Valentine's Wish
14.02.2020
My hope for you
Is that you may feel
All the love that I have felt
May you feel the joy that resides within
Every ounce of your existence
May your cup overflow
With the wholeness of loving existence
Thursday 13th May 2021 9:32 am
Old Friends
25.03.2020
The revolving door of frienships hurts
When it clips you on the way out
Empty words fall on dead ears
And two people are left broken
Where did it all go wrong?
Both too afraid to ask
Both too kind to tell the truth
How do you tell someone who was once your dearest confidant
That their cals now fill you with loss
Phone rings and you see their name and panic
Unret...
Thursday 13th May 2021 9:28 am
Lentils
13.03.2020
I enter a room I've been in before
A happy place of lentils and laughter
Cushions don the floor
An inviting circle awaits me
Two spots hold our names
A friend I'm not sure remembers me
And a circle of people all anxious to grow
Here by habbit or happy accident,
curiosity and the lie
Phones at their sides
Poems at the ready
Who will be our next brave poet?
S...
Thursday 13th May 2021 9:08 am
Mum
13.03.2020
You're the first thing I ever knew
The first sounds I ever heard
The first movement
First heartbeat
First meal
First love
Your womb was my home and in it I built my existence
In you I grew and gew
And through you I met myself
I am to you
As the light is the dark
The seed is the flower
The rain is the ocean
Your cells are mine
And through you I exist
Yo...
Thursday 13th May 2021 8:58 am
Creative Blocks
12.03.2020
My brain is like a blender,
Fragments of ideas
Frustrated fragments whipping around
Fighting for a place of their own
And tossed to the next side of the cup before they even have a chance to...
Wizzzzz
Onto the next thing
It's all so important
Focus Lauren, write a poem
Oh wait, you already did.
Your own worst critic
If it's not perfect it's not good
If it's not ...
Thursday 13th May 2021 8:49 am
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