I used to believe that it was me.

That I was broken.

I used to believe that I was the reason you left; that I was too dark to be loved.

That I deserved to be left behind.

I used to believe it was me!

I looked in the mirror everyday and I cried praying to God that he fix me.

Thinking that there was something wrong.

Praying to God that he would make me worthy of your love.

I...

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It's been a hard day

Smiling pretending everything is fine

If I pretend it feels better

If I do it enough it hurts less

I haven't texted you all day

I haven't ran to you

I keep telling myself I don't need you anymore

I keep telling myself I don't love you

But a voice in my head keeps saying, " Be patient, be kind, show yourself self-love."

Then I look at my arm the word ...

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The words you said made me realize it's all done

I cried, yelled, and wallowed in self pity

Then I showered

Did my hair

Put on clothes and said  , "That is it girl get it together!"

I said, " That is it girl look at that mirror!"

You are BEAUTIFUL, STRONG, and SMART

I said , "I love me!"

"I love me!"

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Urge

I have this urge to call you

An urge to beg you

An urge to show you I can be happy

I have an urge to tell you that I am strong

I have an urge to tell you that I agree and we're done

An urge to say I know you aren't coming back

I have an urge to stop torturing myself and finally let you be free

I say one more text that is all I need

I say one more text that is all I ...

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I Forgot

I forgot how much I loved to write

I forgot how much I love me

I forgot how much it hurt to be alone

Yet, to know that you are free

I forgot how much I love to sing

To feel the warm sun on my skin

I forgot to be me

I forgot how to smile

But today that all changed

Today I remembered...

I remembered it no longer us

It's no longer you and me

Now its me!

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