Poetry Blog by hugh

Hells bells

The new vicar of St Giles who's first name was Pete,

Saw a small boy struggling to reach a door bell across the street.

Pete thought ,"Bless him,poor little thing."

Walks over ,smiles, gives the doorbell quite a ring.

"What now my boy,think they will have heard the bell?"

"Yes here they come,now we must run like hell !!"


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Aya Hachem ,only 19 years old,R.I.P.

Aya a 19 year old student was shot dead on her way to the shops,

The scene was attended by a helicopter and armed cops.

She was hit by a stray bullet from a passing car,

A Salford law student,a rising star.


Witnesses claimed the gunman was aiming at a carwash nearby,

Maybe addressing a conflict ,killing Aya, an innocent passerby.

An appalling and senseless attack,a young wom...

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Back to school too soon!!

Children at home will be shaping their minds in a different way,

They might grow up as better people at the end of the day.

When children return the virus will not call a truce and go home,

It will attack their teachers and round their families will roam.


Social distancing is paramount and will be impossible to enforce,

Children will get infected and pass it on in due course.


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Written by a funeral director

Cancer is not a disease that ends straight away,

It is an enemy that attacks the body day by day.

Sooner or later things will come to an end,

Stay calm and fight it ,is the advice I send.


You could be fit and well for many years,

Living your life eliminating funeral fears.

Developing a healthy relationship with death.

You are still alive valuing every  breath.



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Belly Mujinga 47 years old R.I.P.

Belly Mujinga,a good person,a good mother and a good wife,

A London ticket collector spat at by a stranger ,ending her life.

Shouting he had coronavirus as he coughed and spat,

Belly and a colleague fell seriously ill after that.


Underlying respiratory problems contributed to her death,

Three days after being taken to hospital out of breath.

Following the attack she asked to...

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Stay alert !!!

"Stay alert,"

Could hurt.

A change of word,

Is absurd.


Stay at home is clear,

Stay alert,we fear.

Stay alert is confusing,

Stay at home we are using.


Stay alert is vague,

Could start a plague.

Difficult to understand,

Ambiguous, should be banned.








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A neglected gift

Jim had to think quite deep,

What to buy his mother-in-law ,not to cheap.

Her last birthday present went down quite well,

He bought her a very loud door bell.


Next time he bought her a large cemetry plot,

It was very expensive and cost him a lot.

The next year he bought her nothing,she shed a tear.

"You still haven't used what I bought you last year."


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Advice from a homeless victim

A disaster was there to wipe out my home,

Homeless I became ,the streets I did roam.

My house due to an electrical fault did burn,

Uninisured ,a new life I had to learn.


I had to learn quick how I was going to survive,

Discarded newspapers helped keep me alive.

Layers on the ground provided bedding for a sleep,

Paper stuffed down my jacket where the cold could not creep.


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The plight of the homeless hospitality workers sacked

A surge of unemployed restaurant workers are sent,

Onto the streets of London, unable to pay their rent.

Trafalgar Square at night is silent and empty.

But for the homeless rough sleepers, there aplenty.


Hundreds of tents and cardboard box encampments appearing,

Life under lockdown hundreds of catering jobs disappearing. 

The city day centres have closed ,no place to wash or...

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The tooth will out

A couple won't go back to a takeaway in a hurry,

David spat out a molar as he was eating his curry.

"We both checked that it wasn't one of ours,

Hopefully in the future a prosecution flowers."


The tooth is out I decided to blow the whistle,

The takeaway owner tried to convince us it was gristle.

"You are trying to make a mountain out of a molar ,"he did insist.

Little did...

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The determination of a mother

As a parent I am truly vexed,

Opening schools will kill children next.

To open them up is an idea quite wild,

But you can't make me send my child !


My kids are the most precious things in the world to me,

I will keep them at home where they are safe and virus free.

Social distancing in schools is impossible,no matter how hard we try,

Opening schools will put staff at risk...

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The virus is sweeping through care homes at an alarming rate

Our elderly have been forgotten they are at the bottom of the pile.

Managing a care home is harrowing ,lonely and vile.

I have been pulled apart by this storm hitting our system of care,

Seeing residents dying in a shell of loneliness is difficult to bare.

Families not able to show their love as they lie on their death bed,

Can't get the distress that they face out of my head!


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Coronavirus the carehome curse

Every carehome resident is someone's father,mother or life long friend,

Shrugging our shoulders and leaving them to die should not be their end.

Elderly residents are being abandoned like lambs to the slaughter,

Deprived in their final moments to see their family, maybe a son or a daughter.


Ministerial minds have been fixed on lockdowns and the N.H.S.

Carehomes and their occupa...

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A delve into the mind of a burglar during the coronavirus crisis

I used to make a good living before coronavirus came along,

But like everyone else I must adapt and stay strong.

I am a burglar and times are tough,

Been kicked out of my house and sleeping rough.

Houses are fully occupied due to the lock down,

My livelihood has been ruined  I sadly frown.


Helicopters in the air to catch us flouting the law,

I look for something else to k...

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Children from the age of six to ten are compliant,

But in their teenage years they become defiant.

They push their parents away and listen to their peers.

Their friends understand them,adults bring on tears.


Teenagers can be mystifying,

Understanding them can be trying.

Tempers in many households do fray,

Patience is a virtue make it pay.

We as parents need to let off ...

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In the middle of the night Fiona woke up screaming with pain,

"Quick dear husband ring the doctor my appendix is driving me insane!"

Boris rang the doctor whom he knew really well,

"Don't panic,took out her appendix four years ago,I remember it well.

Whatsmore I have never come across anyone with a pair in my life."

"That's fine,but have you ever heard of anyone having a new wife!"

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Avoid eating birds !!!

Coronavirus is spreading so fast,

How long is this panademic going to last?

Birds in the trees are prolific this time of year,

Coronavirus is spread by them,I STRONGLY FEAR !!


I don't believe it is just spreading from  one human to another,

We need to thoroughly examine birds to positively uncover,

How they constantly spread the virus as they fly  over,

Inflicting their p...

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Sammy the spider

A poem sent to my two young grandchilren  with a birthday card and accompanied by a spider called Sammy who will pop out of the envelope and surprise them.


Sammy the spider

Hope you and Belle enjoy this eight legged boy,

He's called Sammy and he'll bring you loads of joy.

I have just bought a cute little tiger ,

That's why I am sending you Sammy the spider.


A friendly s...

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Do something now You are the Boss

Two British nurses have sadly died,

Both a mother of three,their future denied.

Aimee O'Rourke and Areema Nasreen sadly passed away,

Two N.H.S.  Angels caring for their patients every single day.


One thirty six and one thirty nine,

Far to early to call time.

Two loving mothers no longer here,

Their passing spreads further fear.


Fear of what lies ahead,

Fear of ...

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The disease detectives must tackle the storm

Coronavirus,bad,scary,silent and lingering,

Scientists nationwide for a vacine are fingering.

This viral enemy we must put to ground,

A vacine is the only answer and must be found.


Its going to be disasterous and sad,

A global panademic grim and bad.

But the disease detectives are determined to tackle the storm,

And bring our wonderful world back to its norm.



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Coronavirus ,I hope we never get it.

A lady from China is stressed and doesn't know what to do,

People are staying well away from Mrs, Ah-Chu.


We are worried about coronavirus and hope we don't get it,

I've got a great joke about it but I don't think you'll get it.



Sanatising gel makers,the storm they will weather,

With an increase in sales their hands they will rub together.


A wealthy fishing fr...

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To save the lives of others is the best thing in the world,

A day in the life as a doctor fighting the virus I have unfurled.

At  7 o'clock in the morning I pack my sleeping bag and clothes,

Whether I will be back  tonight to see my family who knows?


I arrive at the hospital after a 10 mile drive,

I check my first patient hopefully he will survive.

I check his venilator and ...

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A pupil of the past

Many years after ,I visited a town where I used to teach,

I was approached by a lad while walking along the beach.

He happily shouted,"I remember you really well,

You teached me English,my name is Mel."




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A clap of thanks

As darkness fell across the U.K.

Millions of people had their say.

Raising a thunder of gratitude clapping their hands,

An explosion of thanks on front line health workers lands.


In isolation we sent our thanks and respect to the N.H.S.

Risking their lives on the frontline battling this mess.

As a nation we thanked them  for their courageous fight,

For the sacrifices and ...

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Panic buying we all have a role to play, lets wipe it out and flush it away

Toilet paper is in demand,

Panic buying is out of hand.

People have wiped shelves clean,

Hoarding this essential is obscene


Removing lavatory paper from supermarkets is not the sensible thing to do,

 We are dependent on them to blow our noses and wipe our poo.

Researches say it is the fear of missing out,

Hanging on to their modern lifestyle is what it is all about.



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Pot luck

Pete's grandad unfortunately died,

They were very close,Pete was mortified.

Items from his grandad's house Pete would pick up,

Plates ,knives,forks , saucepans and a collar for his pup.

The kitchen utensils one night were useful,Pete cooked for quite a lot,

Luckily Pete's mum was quick to spot,the soup boiling in a chamber pot.!!!




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A warmer planet [Written for the kids off school]

Jack and Jill lived far away from the sun,

The planet was cold life was not much fun.

The leaves on the trees didn't blow,

And the waters in the rivers didn't flow.


They had to wear many layers of clothes to keep warm,

And round fires and radiators they did storm.

The gloves on their hands were woolly and thick,

When eating their lollies they would bite not lick.



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A pregnancy precipitated by a grudge

Claire went to see her mid-wife,

A pregnancy diagnosis was to change her life.

"Oh no,I'm destined to have two,

My husband is a sailor ,what can I do?

Sam has been away for a year at sea,

How could expecting twins ever happen to me?" 

"That which has happened to you is rare,

You have obviously had an affair!!"

"I slept with a man who had a grudge against Sam,

And he had ...

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A superior view

Mother superior spent a long time in the shower,

One of the nuns said,"There's a blind man to see you,he's been here for an hour."

"Well if he's a blind man it doesn't really matter,

Send him up and we can have a natter."


She got out of the shower in her birthday suit,

The blind man shocked and embarassed went quite mute.

She spoke to him for about ten minutes or more,


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A little bit of flirt

She was slim and smart with plenty of charm,

Chatty and friendly ,confident and calm.

She'd come to see me to plant a seed,

By the end of our meeting I  was her dog on a lead.

She crossed her legs and was a bit of a flirt,

She did it with her eyes and a very short skirt.


She signed me up for a caravan and a car,

No swear words,no smoke from a cigar,

No footie talk or o...

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An age shock!

Doris passed an elderly looking man sat in a chair,

Exceedingly slim with a head full of hair.

"You look really good,the secret of a long life I would like to hear."

"I smoke forty fags  ,don't exercise and every day down ten pints of beer."

"That's unbelievable,how old are you?"

On my last birthday I was thirty two."

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Guilty or not guilty?

Tom was on trial for robbing a bank,

To have caught him the police we must thank.

The jury sat for hours deciding what to do.

But a not guilty verdict was decided when they were through.

Tom was delighted when the verdict was called out,

"Great,do I get to keep the money?"he did shout.

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A coronavirus cure might lie in a bat's brain

The coronavirus contnues to spread.

More of us infected ,more of us dead.

A new pace of infection is not the norm,

Could it be linked to the climate change storm.


Could there be a new way the virus is spread,

More of us infected,more of us dead.

Maybe transmitted up above in the sky,

Fluttering in our clouds as they pass us by.


Poisoning our atmosphere as it rains...

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"White ,"said Fred.

Fred had a stain on his new white sweater,

Wong's laundry for removing stains ,there was no-one better.

Wong tried his best to remove the stain,

But gave up in the end,his efforts were in vain.


Wong rang his brother and asked him to give it a try,

But his brother too couldn't remove the dye.

Permanently stained and never to be white,

The moral--"Two Wongs cannot make a wh...

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Re John Coopey's latest disgusting blog

Come on ladies delete this blog,

A disgusting entry ,a dirty cog.

Speak your mind and sweep it away,

Don't be afraid to have your say.


International women's day has just been ,

Blogs like this should not be seen,

Show us how strong you ladies are,

Delete this blog and become a star.


Write out loud is a clean site,

Defeat this blog and put things right,

Come ...

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Problems with pupils

Diane was having problems with her guy

Always arguing,couldn't see eye to eye,


Jack was a teacher damaged his eyes in  a fall,

He became cross-eyed and couldn't control his pupils at all.


Diane had to wear sunglasses due to problems with her class,

Her pupils were very bright and all their exams they did pass.


But eventually they patched things up and saw eye to ey...

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An eye catching experience

Jim lived in a flat on the first floor,

He had to close the window it was going to pour.

He felt the rain as he held out his hand,

As he did this a glass eye fell into his hand.


"Hello has anyone up there lost a glass eye?"

"Oh it's mine !"A lady with relief did sigh.

"Please can you bring it up and give it to me,

I'll make you a sandwich and a cup of tea."


Jim we...

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Wash your hands keep them clean.

Wash your hands keep them clean,

Spreading coronavirus is really mean.

Wash your hands before eating,

Avoid a shake when  you are greeting.


Sing happy birthday twice in a row,

As down the plughole the germs will go.

Hands are  paramount to help germs spread,

Wash them thoroughly,don't  end up dead.


Cut your nails keep them clean,

They're hiding germs most unsee...

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My dad is getting old

My dad does many silly things,

But laughter to the community he brings.

He still enjoys things at 74,

He lives at 75 and knocks on their door.


Life for him is slowing down,

Takes much longer to walk to town.

As cake and ice cream speed to his hips,

He's always asking for live longer tips.


Old age my dad constantly fights,

But one morning devoured a bowl of kitt...

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The loneliness of Lucy

No husband or children Lucy lived alone,

Zero text messages at Christmas not even from Vodaphone.

No-one to nest with over the Christmas break,

To pull the crackers and share the cake.


Going to the cinema with automated ticket machines,Lucy felt at ease.

There was no shame in saying,"Just one ticket please."

No food in the fridge,no kids and only two plates,

Nothing in co...

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Coronavirus scare

I was insructed to drive to the hospital on my own,

My throat was sore my tonsils had grown.

I was informed to arrive at the hospital wearing a mask.

On the car park a nurse was waiting to perform her task.


Faced by her rubber gloves and her disposable attire,

My body was in full sweat and on fire.

My temperature and blood pressure were taken through the window of my car,


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A balance check

I went to my bank to draw out some money,

The cashier was charming ,helpful and funny.

"Is there anything else I can do for you while you are here?"

"I would like you to check my balance please my dear."

"Here's your eighty pounds ,please will you sign,"

She gave me a push,"And your balance is fine."

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A tight fit


A gorgeous  girl was walking down the street,

The kind of girl Jake was dying to meet.

She had a voluptuous figure and wore skin tight tights,

The passion from Jake's eyes into his body alights.


"I have never seen anyone wearing such figure hugging- clothes,

How can anyone ever get into anything as tight as those?"

"Well,"replied the girl,"let me have a think,

Why do...

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A tribute to Caroline Flack

On Strictly Come Dancing Caroline found fame,

The best Strictly performance ever,she did claim.

"Angels" an eternal monument she did shed,

"When I come to call ,I'm loving angels instead."


Many hearts will be broken,Caroline was ace,

Put under pressure due to an on going case.

Her final instagram post showed her giving her dog a kiss,

Talented ,smart and likeable,Caroline...

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Harm on the farm.

Feeling forgetful?There could be something fishy going on,

I have difficulty remembering information 30 minutes gone.

Eating many servings of salmon in the past I regret,

Grim facts concerning chemicals in salmon I have met.


The salmon farms in Norway cause the ocean beds to rot,

Open sewers on coastal waters unfortunately we have got.

A cocktail of poisons,raw sewage and co...

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Indicator fault?

A man and his wife were driving to Manchester in a car,

She was worried they hadn't gone so far.

She tells  him to check the indicators as they go,

He checks them and says,"Yes no,yes no,yes no."

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Corona virus concern

The train station and airport in Wuhan,China have been shut down,

Wuhan has been the epi centre of the outbreak I sadly frown.

Corona virus a  public health issue of global concern,

Visitors to China put into quarantine on their return.


Manchester is twinned with Wuhan take heed,

Nearly 5000 students from China the universities feed.

Millions of Chinese travel for the lunar ...

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Boris' mounting debts

Boris had been unemployed for a year,

His mounting debts were a constant fear.

A future without a job looked very dark,

But a job came his way as a litter picker at a  park.

"Training to be a litter picker will it take long?"

His new boss replied,"You'll pick it up as you go along."

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A turning point

Dave was suffering from an addiction,

In court with pride he made a prediction.

"I sincerely regret being invovled in a drug sale,

I solemnly declare I will abide by the law without fail."

The judge felt the sincerity of this remorseful guy,

And said,"Let's hope you end up this year on a high."



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Stop before your Op !

Is an operation on your agenda?

Stop smoking and become a swift mender.

To stop before your op is your duty,

Why risk spoiling your beauty?


Smoking is a no win deal,

Wounds will take longer to heal.

Smoking 10 cigs a day will highten your risk,

Stop smoking before and your recovery is brisk.


Six more chances to die,

Give it up altoegether ,please try.

The so...

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