I’ll gather the Cockles from Red Wharf Bay

Best soaked overnight in salt water they say

Then boil them in water that is fresh from the tap

Then simmer, five minutes, they open no crap

A bowl with some milk and the Cockles go in

Then stir with your hand like they’re having a swim

Remove and then place them in self-raising flour

Once coated, then sieve. This starter’s ...

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Oh how I miss the Northern Charm

Builders' Tea and Bacon barm

Pie ’n’ peas and Cheshire cheese

Drivers that stay calm

People speak without a plum

Ecky thump and ee by gum

Tripe and Onions, Granny’s bunions

Boddies Bitter bites yer bum

Cheshire cats the grinning mousers

Tacchini wearing scally Scousers

West Pennine shower, Blackpool Tower

Our backyard and ...

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"Unload!.... safety catch, pouch, magazine off..

(From the range we smell the scoff)

"Clear, ease springs"

The Sergeant sings

Time to queue up at the trough

There's nothing quite like the old 'Range Stew'

Two rounds of bread with a nice hot brew

From the mess tin

I'm not jestin'

Made by chefs who have no clue

Soft boot shuffle with your mate

No place here...

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