Poetry Blogs (2020, unrequited love)

single day awareness now does loom
not married or taken? apparently it spells doom
but if i can't have you tomorrow
my thoughts surely can
i'll send some admiration 
best believe it man
type a message, or say something nice
"Sealed with a loving kiss" as the olde romantics say
not thinking twice

because if there's a next time around
I want a lover, not a taker
and sing so sweet to her...

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We circle as sharks
on the Hyde Park winter rink
our eyes like lasers
I audibly bleep when they meet

We both go forwards
not getting anywhere
we pass with differing intervals
I only breathe when we pass

Some laps are flawless
some laps are clumsy
some laps I nearly take some sucker down
some laps I kiss the ice

I feel your eyes lift me to my feet
I feel them brush the slush from...

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I think

I might like you 

I think to myself on late night lonely trains 

Watching the city lights fade into the distance and wishing 

If only you were here to see it, too

There are worse people to adore than your best friend 

Worse people to know everything about you 

and you of them 

I know you 

Moments you regret

Private jokes and unspoken secrets 

At o...

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(apologies to the similar-sounding John Hegley piece also titled "I need you")

I need you
Like Dracula needs a neck to suck
Like Hannibal lector needs victims to cook
Like Jason needs the 13th day
Like Micheal Myers needs teens to slay

I need you
like werewolves need a moon to howl
I want to be kept "rock hard"
forever in your medusa scowl

I need you
Like Vincent Price needs bats ...

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I had one of those dreams again, the ones where we were just friends. You had no idea you were my every heartbeat.
 

We were on a trip somewhere, back in high school or something. You had a crush on the foreign exchange student I was rooming with. I was barely tolerating her. You invited us to hang out though, and I couldn't deny any second spent near you. We stayed late in your room listening...

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Via the phone
When I heard your voice
Having a friendly tone--
At long last you have won--
My diffidence and anxiety gone
An electrifying ecstasy
Charged my heart's zone,
Who fate was
To ceaselessly lament and moan.

The vein inundating feeling
You evoked, anon,
Percolated down to every bone
To each love thirst
To atone!

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i'm in love with someone. 
Sadly they do not know it, but i do. 
Her beauty is rich in a loveless world.
Her smile eases the thoughts of negativity around me, 
the gentle conversation excites my universe. 
to be in their company even for a brief few seconds can take a mile off my day.

Then she leaves.
Same time.
Next week.

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"you" are the distant moon
Bright and shiny
yet, so far...away

and I'm the tide,
your smallest change
cause turmoil in me

What I forgot, is that,
the moon is destined
to love the pretty stars
not the distant earth
which is so close, yet,
so far...

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I'm missing you..

like the sea misses the shore,

Like the mountains miss the bluebells

in the cold, 

like the earth misses the sun at night

But,

the waves should learn

to wait till the tide is high,

& the mountains must know

to endure till spring,

& earth till the dawn arrives.

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I've gone back to writing unrequited love poetry. apparently, I'm told everyone likes those. 

some references:
"I sit alone and think of you"- a song by Jandek
"I've spent my whole surrounded/alone"- opening lines from the song "unconditional" by The Bravery
"Alone but not lonely"- a line from Tired out by Buck 65
"the smile I have is only skin deep"- a line from The Joker in Batman (1989)

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I barely Know You

I don't "really" know you.

When we met,

We hit it off and by that I mean-

You told me all your secrets.

I related with you.

I felt for you. 

I saw something you were unable to see...

You.

Cleaning, running around after Cam and the vist after-

there was, another baby in that perfect belly.

See, I know you're lonely.

You feel under appreciated 

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He ghosted me,

then I ghosted too.

Maybe ghosting 

spreads like the flu.

Leaves the ghosted

feeling sick and blue

when a loved one 

suddenly starts ignoring you. 

You haven't a clue 

what to do. 

So, you stay in bed, 

with the covers over your head

wishing you were dead

so you can get some relief 

from the ghosting disease.

Eventually, you get up

sal...

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Passion consumed 
eventually fades.

Passion capped 
pursues us 

beyond the grave.

This revelation 
helps me understand,

our encounter was 
never about us.

It was about our muses
intertwined in the 

world of words.

We were denied 
the lasting passion
we searched for

so we could write 
our soul songs

for seekers 
to see

the ectasy 
and despair

that accompan...

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I thought that you cared,
that you cared more than a friend.
Now when I see you you're all over him,
now I'm letting the darkness in.

I remember when you were all over me,
I sang you lullabies to help you sleep.
You held my hand when I felt down,
held me in your arms to pull me up.

We were editing our little story,
you put your pen down and I start to worry.
You scrumbled your paper ...

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I still loved you but I walked away.
I know you still love me, but I'm not comming back.
You still try to reach me, I know you do.
Every text you send I read, never ending your silent plead.

I know you're hurting I'm too,
but I know I can't be with you.
You were my everything I hope you know.
now I can't give you roses of red colour.

I was hurting, my heart was bleeding,
I didn't let ...

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You'll never know how much I want you
You'll never know how much I need you
You'll never know how much it hurts 
to see you in his arms.

Why I pretend not to see,
all these texts you send to me.
Why I decline all your invites,
when I used to see you every time.

He knows I'm your best friend,
he asked about you again.
There's just one thing he doesn't know,
you're the one my heart fo...

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I’m losing my mind.

Don’t you understand?

I’m desperately reaching out for your hand.

Don’t leave me hanging, slipping, falling…

down into the endless abyss of darkness,

Never destined to land.

You’ve saved me once before,

But this time there are no safety ropes.

I’m free-falling, plummeting, going down…

My only hope Is for you to save me now.

I’m losing my ...

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This is me

forgetting you

I still can’t quite believe it’s true

It hasn’t been

too long ago

when I stood up and let you know

I wanted you 

to hear from me

that I loved you, you said:

“You see,

I’ve known a while

it’s obvious 

it’s not your fault, not mine, but “us”

is not something that’s happening 

my words are painful, but they’re real

I’m sorry, I ap...

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my breath left me

on a day of cold and color

against your turned back

white face, white mist

under the beat of your wings

singing the song of the swan

snow falls down

through a world of stolen breath

a feather finds its way

beside a snowflake

curled in my palm

i wish on a white and silent world

that you would take my heart

the way you took my lungs

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Words, the only thing that connects me to you
Through words I figured out the things that you do
Words you want to say to the girls that you loved that are too good to be true
Words that I read just like the lyrics of my favorite songs

I figured their is a list of the girls in your heart
You fall too easy something that is common with my heart
I don't know how many times I hoped for an us
...

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A warmth in her blossomed,

He made her smile from her heart. 

She was too scared to tell him,

So she played the friendship part. 

An unknown feeling flourished within, 

Her guard unfolded and withered. 

He stole her affection like a thief at night,

Replaced with emotions she tried to fight.

The attraction stemmed deeper,

She knew he was a keeper.

Rooted. 

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Te amo tanto que me duele 
You didn't get that, did you? 
But can't you see it in my face 
a love that aches my very soul 

Like Mars, ' I'll catch a grenade for ya!'
but you must be Venus...do you not see
it is my will I am stuck in love? 

'Te amo tanto que me duele!'
You gaze into my pupils and 
seem oblivious to my amor 
God free me from this dolor! 

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Although fate,
Distance and time
Cruelly put asunder
You an indifferent girl
And I a self concious
Boy lover
Two decades later,
Lately ,I saw you
A mesmeric lady
With a son
And a daughter,
Full of life
And laughter.

Once again
Your voice
In my cloud
Shrouded heart
Rang a bell
To a paradise
That could
Change a hell.

Your sunrise
"I know you exist!" smile
Still has power
Me t...

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Eight o'clock looks better with blue tinted sunglasses.

The sunset is redder, the sea loses its grey,

People become mere shadows in the softening light.

It is calm.

I sit and wait for him.

Curling my bare feet into the sand.

Shadows catch their reflections in my eyes

Seeing only themselves and a lonely girl. 

The waves melt away the metal casings of my heart;

U...

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Unrequited love is the destruction of the heart

It is walking across an endless desert occupied with faded mirages that show you beauty like never before

Constantly consumed by its wonder, constantly consumed by the despair for your love for it

She is the mirage, you are the lonley aching fool in an endless desert

You are the one slowly suffocating by the boundless intesity of what you...

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There is a war rallied between our hearts:

some people say love,

other people play love.

But when life becomes a game,

when words can only be spoken by characters,

when breath can only be projected by theatre

then I lose myself...so you lose me....and I risk losing you....

And the curtains fall shut -

Shows over.

And the dice stops rolling -

We lost the bet.

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I wish I could tell you anything

Anything you want to hear

But I don’t think you would listen to me

I don’t think you would believe me.

A never ending game of cat and mouse

A classic case of “will they, won’t they”

You can’t see what is happening between us

Or maybe this is all in my head.

That’s the struggle isn’t it?

Not being able to tell the differences

...

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I'm staying up tonight

To find that lucky star in the sky

But I think it fell in a black hole.

I’ve been searching

For the sun to come out

But it burned out years ago.

I was surrounded by such beauty

I could not take my eyes off of you

But I wasn’t enough to captivate you for long.

My heart used to beat for you out of time

You were like a flower that st...

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You blew across the sky
a bird, black against the cloud
your wings beating hard
the way I was beating too

And for a moment…
I felt so alive

You slipped through
grazing my sooty skies
these pearly stars 
squealing in your wake

And for a moment…
I felt so alive

Was there something more
that we were supposed to do
some other experience
we should have expected to share

Lifted...

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There, seated at one of the bleachers,

Far distant from me, nineteen meters.

There, a girl before you,

Like a piece of a broken tableau.

For me, it was likely,

A vision, pain with no remedy,

Loud laughs, so clear in view,

Nineteen meters away, such a milieu.

Just heartful days ago,

The pair of your eyes never forego,

What was seen in the sight of me,

Such...

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I'm a pure example of what happens
When you chase something that's not chasing back
Maybe I didn't get the hint

Maybe I didn't see the picture
That me and you were just a silly fairy tale of mine.

I should have kept my mouth closed
Hold these sweet words behind my tongue
Let the poison sink in
And let the words kill me from within.

But of course I didn't
I had to take a chance
Ignore ...

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I write things about you

I love to write things about you

I always want to write about you

Ever since I saw your smile

Feelings of hapiness begins to pile

Ever since I heard you laugh

My heart became familiar of this unknown "stuff"

I knew right then and there

This feeling will even get deeper

And then one unexpected day,

Our gaze met... Oh Hey!

My heart beats...

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You come to me when I least expect it,

As my thoughts, idle, spiral into the inky darkness which envelops me

Rising in a euphoria of hazy violet, unanchored, until you materialise, suspended above me, 

Drawing them around you, immersing yourself in the haze, as you

Drown me in hazel and poison me with possibilities, each more fantastic than the last;

Tumbling into my thoughts, ...

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    The friend I love

Sitting in my chair in front of the comp, eating an apple, an occasional chomp
Pictures of you, running through my mind, thinking of words, I cannot find
I can't help, picturing your face, your feminin beauty, elegance an grace
Eyes that shine, with sparkle and glee, I wish those eyes where looking at me,
Cheeks that glow, your radiant smile, please think of me, just o...

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Building a rockery
Stopping, watching.
Robins’ nesting close
Stop work do not startle.
Stop for incoming worms
Love those birds.
Mouths to feed
Stopping with care and wonder.

Hen and Cock, working to ends
Chicks gaped ochre mouths
Cheeping, stop work, move away.
They cry.
Worm after worm
Rock after rock.
Both building
Only rock is dead.

Lovers tiff, leaving permanently.
Return...

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you’re cold, button up,

batten down the hatched glass

these mean talking ghosts offer

little anonymity to the  marrowfat

of shoulder high memories

sister in all but time

an “a star” in the morning

yet the many delights,

ours but for the cleansed eyes

and thighs, came as you sounded

memory in your truth’s thunder

blackened through evi...

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The Clown

This make-up’s dried upon my face,

gone cracked with age and wear.

I can’t remove this absurd mask.

You’ll never know how much I care.

The girl with pretty eyes will smile,

the clown, so sad, will sigh.

Another chance has passed away.

Another star lights the sky.

You see the clown and laugh at him,

I turn away and cry,

‘cos...

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hear the sound of every rusted, blunted mace

as they greet and meet  through gravity’s lack of grace,

each at thirty two point two,

the fateful rate of this heaving season

where fruits misplace a summer’s trust to kiss the dirt

and, where they fall, corrode and stall the wheels of love

for those we find untouchable

while yet our hearts may still enmesh, b...

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Love sick,
Love torn,
Love lost,
misplaced trust,
not in God,
but in us,
in I and you,
what was lust
turned so quickly
to earth scorched
red as angry rust.
There ain't no God, Mister,
there ain't no God,
but those who believe
believe in what they must
until that final day
when boxed and earthed
we will return
ashes to ashes
and dust to dust.

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http://writingsinrhyme.com/Lady_of_the_Sweetest_Smile.php

More poems on the website

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I have Aspergers' Syndrome - it's fairly normal for me in my own little world to become full-blown obsessed with the object of my desires, crave the unattainable and fantasise about being in bed with married men. But don't worry, I don't own a knife or gun (that's a lie, I'm a chef, 'cept the gun bit), and am certainly not dangerous... I'll find out for definite when the men in white coats aren...

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I was the reluctant lover
She was a Goddess divine
I was not as brave as a man should be
And so her heart was never mine

Oh, am I the fool of legend
Am I the only one
Who loved and lost as I never tossed
My hat in the ring till the girl was gone?

And as I look at the picture
Her face and smile come to mi...

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