Poetry Blogs (2017, Humour)

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Zimbabwe, November 2017

Zimbabwe, November 2017


I'm not a fan of coups

But if this one ousts Mugabe

Then, woohoo!

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It all depends on Something

It All Depends On Something


It all depends on something,

On that you can depend.

Things start at the beginning,

And they finish at the end.


You don’t know until you know,

How anything will conclude.

So don’t try to jump the gun

To find answers that elude.


Take one hour at a time

And each troubled day by day.

Cross each bridge only when

The river’s...

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Tits on the ceiling


The selfie is healthy

for the narcissistically wealthy


but for those with a soul

it’s a polaroid hole


at jaunty angles so carefully posed

an image of vanity proudly exposed


something less real is much more appealing

like the Sistine chapel with tits on the ceiling 



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Here's a kind of slaggy one:



Where are those carrier bags?

No, not those recycled poncy type.

The slaggy ones, a slip of plastic, 

with Key Markets or Tesco on the side,

Like me Mum had.


Throw away ones - which is exactly

what you did.  

Shamelessly, without a single qualm. 

plenty more where they came from.


Don't get me wrong, I salute those 


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Its Jennifer's birthday,

Break out the champagne

Put up balloons and coloured paper chains

The child is on top of the world

so it seems

That was until Arthur,

Shattered her dreams

For those in the dark

At this moment in time

Let me introduce Arthur

On nasty feline

A moggy with menace

A cat with conviction

He'd scratch on the chairs

And leave hair...

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Rzhepiks (something funny)

And in the refrigerator at night

Food is more useful and right


Nothing is forever under the star

Started my doctor from afar


About alcohol - I know my norm as such

But I can’t drink so much


You are very chained by  brain

Let me loosen the chain


Olga's heart is made of ...

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entry picture


Where we used to live is a Tesco now

its aisles full of shoppers


We used to bathe and do our business in the bakery

make love among the pickles


You kicked me in the nuts at the pharmacy

I fell down floored beside the pain relief shelf


I collided with your sister by the half price stand

and rebounding landed here in this disavowed Poundland


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Breaking News

entry picture

In the silence of a no moon night

the household slumbers fast,

he tips a little dram back

not knowing it's his last.


Goodnight to Sophie Raworth

farewell to Newsnights best,

in the morning they will find him

in his underpants and vest.


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The Path Of White Blossom

T'was early midnight & he was still up for more fun,

so he went scattering his white blossom on the run,

And as he streaked off down the long drive

the air did seem to be quite bright and alive

as the street lamps lit up that quite comic scene

like a film of some old timer's fantasy dream…


Not that he once noticed the trailing spread

of all those white flakes from his emp...

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