Bit of a pik-me-up this one Gordon! Funny and feelgood!

Comment is about Gordon Zola (poet profile)

Original item by Gordon Zola

Hi Cate - thanks for reading and making comment - you're on the right line : )

steve

Comment is about Cate (poet profile)

Original item by Cate

Hi winston,

thank you for taking the time to respond to my work. I really value the feedback i recieve as it helps me progress and learn more. The collages of poems i am currently writing are from my own experiences, and the imagery is from my lens. I really likes the comment you made about your daughter. Yep, when i was a soldier i was single, but getting letters from ones loved ones meant so much. In the Gulf, mail was irregular at first. we were lucky if we recieved one mail run by the RAF a week. Nevertheless, some soldiers took advantage of the SATCOM kit, and phoned their wives and girlfriends and spoke with their children, they would hide it, but they would often be tearful but glad of the contact. It is extemely difficult being a soldier, and even more difficult is making the transition to civilian street afterwards. Even now, at the age of 42, i am still writing letters that i will never send, to the military asking for my old job back.

be well blue

mike

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

mp3 added to urdu poem :-)

Comment is about Cate (poet profile)

Original item by Cate

mp3 added to urdu poem :-)

Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

mp3 added to urdu poem :-)

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

mp3 added to urdu poem :-)

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

Hi Cate, thanks for taking the time to comment on the series i just put in the chat. Yes i am an ex service man. I did operational tours in several countries. i decided to share my imagery and experiences in here because some people call me a little selfish with my experiences. So i thought, in the dead of night when no-one is logged on, i would write some poetry that will tell a story. Alongside the poetry is the imagery of a soldier or two and all the manifestations of what was seen some years ago. The photographs placed with the poetry are all from my own lens. And the soldier you see sitting on the radio or on the road with the tribal men and women, is me. Over the next few days i will write more, to tell a story. Not all good, but i hope, by the time i have wrote the story and shown the imagery, it will have a positive effect not only on myself, but on the reader too. There is much conflict in the world at the moment, for ex soldiers like i, we still live it every day. my hope is that this little collage of writings and poetry from my own experiences, will result a grand finale. Glad you are interested, it seems hard to generate that interest in my work at the moment. Watch this space and more will come.

By the way, i like Keats myself. I was taught his work at college. But i beg to differ his opinions on children who prematurely die and dont experience a full life.

be well cate, and thanks for taking the time.

Mike

x

Comment is about Cate (poet profile)

Original item by Cate

Thanks again to you all for your comments – helps me shape my words thanks

Steve x

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Love this one Dominic. Remember it at freed up.
Like the passage below. A grand rich mixture of things. Winston

I think Purple was my first kiss.
Or
at least its memory.
Tasted like pumpkin seed,
black coffee,skin bitten off round the nail.
When toddlers see ghosts it is Purple.

Comment is about Dominic Berry (poet profile)

Original item by Dominic Berry

thanks :-)

Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)

Original item by Jeffarama!

Hi Jeff,

I love your poem When I'm Down - something I relate to myself although I like that it recognises the transiency of feeling like that.

Angel

Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)

Original item by Jeffarama!

Thanks for comments everyone and great reception at Wigan.
The Prisoner is an older poem so maybe could be improved. I'll think about changing it although I've got used to reading it without a problem. (in my humble opinion) I'm usually quite rigorous about line length myself and I've read Stephen Fry's The Ode Less Travelled, although I can't claim to follow his rules to the letter.
Dave

Comment is about Dave Carr (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Carr

Hi Steve
Thanks for the feedback re Hypocrisy.... I dislike Political Poetry with a passion however this was fired by the smug comments from people and groups, that I would need to recount my fingers ever I should shake hands with anyone of them.

Cheers
Gus

Comment is about Steve Regan (poet profile)

Original item by Steve Regan

Steve many many thanks for taking the time to read my poetry, your suggestions demonstrate a great deal of experience which I am lacking and I will be editing along the the lines of your suggestions very soon
Thank you so much.
Augusta x

Comment is about garside (poet profile)

Original item by garside

Hi Andy, thanks for your comment on For Isla. And for taking the time to go back and comment on it a second time. This poem means a lot to me. It was written for my new born grandaughter.
Cate xx

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

Hi Dave,
enjoyed your performance at Wigan, nice to see you posting here.
I like the prisoner, it reminds me of how i feel i Debenhams stores. When in Ikea i feel a bit like Dorothy in the wizard of oz. Follow the yellow brick road and you end up back in the same place. ha ha.

Your phonetic alphabet poem is fantastic, really enjoyed reading that one. :-)

Janet.

Comment is about Dave Carr (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Carr

Thank you so very much Winston for taking the time to read my poem, I am encouraged.

You look very happy and free from all troubles sat upon your boat, what a lovely life that must be.

Augusta x

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Hi Dave

Welcome to WOL. I've enjoyed both your pieces. The second is very clever, I particularly like "Delta" :-)

The IKEA piece is strong too but, would you allow me to offer a supportive comment? I stumbled on a couple of occasions reading it as you have varying line lengths between corresponding lines in the different verses. (Count 'em!)

Forgive me, but I'm a bit obsessive about this, and find that - for comic verse especially, it really helps to get this right as it's to do with the comic necessity about timing.

Because I value the piece (and because I've been awake since Stupid O'clock this morning! Oh, and because I have the same nightmare about the bloody place!), I've been drawn to have a quick play around with it and would suggest a form with lines of 8,6,9,6 syllable length.

Then with a few tweaks and the odd linking word like "and/as/then" etc inserted, there's an even stronger poem in there trying to get out. The same end rhymes and (your very good) jokes, just a bit tighter on the old metre and scansion.

Feel free to tell me to stick this, Dave :-) But, if you're interested then take another look at the piece and then maybe message back here or contact me via my profile page and I could either email my thoughts to you privately or post them up here.

Cheers.

Tony

Comment is about Dave Carr (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Carr

HI WInston - thanks again for reading my work and taking the time to comment - think there is a little tweaking perhaps with this one - but on the whole am content with Yvonne :-)

steve x

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Hi Dave, Welcome to WOL. your PapaOscarEchoMike piece is a great idea. Winston

Comment is about Dave Carr (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Carr

Thank you for taking the time to read my poems Jeff...
Your comments and suggestions are always appreciated...
I will actually be re-writing/editing 'Connection' as my mentor Gus has suggested...
Just waiting for a bit of free time : )

Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)

Original item by Jeffarama!

Hello Daniel
Just read lilium inter-spinas. To start with, what a great title. the soft lilly and the hard spines. Says a lot this poem about floating through life (for me) I imagined a balloon drifting along daring lifes problematic thorns to puncture it. One small quibble, are the words "deep blue sea" too cliche? they jared with me a bit. Fantastic poem. Keep posting. Winston

Comment is about Memoir. (poet profile)

Original item by Memoir.

Will certainly try to make the next Bards Steve - with or without all my lovely sisters!

Comment is about Steve Regan (poet profile)

Original item by Steve Regan

Thanks for your lovely comment Anthony. I read it to my mum, who thought that your words sounded like poetry in themselves. I guess I felt a bit guilty about posting that poem cos it took no time to write and wasn't particularly sophisticated. Those feelings just had to come out of me there and then and I didn't have hours and hours to hone it. You and all who commented made me feel a lot better about the poem. Thank you.
Isobel x

Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

thanks to you all for your comments on this poem folks - i still need to end the last line and am thinking about it - the poem took about 15 mins to write the first draft and as such, you can tell this from the reading

many regards as always for taking the time to read and consider my poem(s) it means a lot thanks

steve x

Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Hi steve, thanks for your comments on The Feminine Beauty. The way you have restructured the poem is something i have been trying to achieve. Thats exactly the way i like to structure the poems i often write, but, have had no training and forming the structure thus is something that i can now try to employ. Thank you for your help. Be well blue.

MIke
x

Comment is about garside (poet profile)

Original item by garside

Hi Steve. thanks for reading and commenting on Oil and Cheese / Chalk and Water. Win

Comment is about garside (poet profile)

Original item by garside

Thank you Steve for your gracious and encouraging comments regarding My Grandfather... very much valued.

Many thanks

Gus

Comment is about Steve Regan (poet profile)

Original item by Steve Regan

Hi Cynthia, No it doesn't make you snotty lol. Every reader will get something different from a particular poem and it doesnt matter whether that was in the mind of the poet when he/she was writting. Glad you liked it. (When I see people with that scraped back hair it does make me wonder if they have a permanent headache). Winston

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Hi Dave
Liked your old texts piece. welcome to WOL keep posting and commenting. Winston

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Anthony. thanks for commenting on Oil & Cheese / Chalk & Water. Observations lefton the blog entry. Thanks again Winston

Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Hi Cate. Thanks for looking at Oil & Cheese / Chalk & Water. Left some answers under the blog entry. Winston

Comment is about Cate (poet profile)

Original item by Cate

replied to ur qs in 'pyar'

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Hi Michelle, thanks for the interest. My background is in maths & the sciences, so I often plunder that world for inspiration. Or sometimes I merely pretend to, as here...

Science Lesson

I cast back my mind to school-bright days
My science teacher, Newton’s apostle
Handing down laws like a corduroy judge

The class’s reaction was equal and opposite
Collective inertia to theory and fact

He taught us that matter takes only three forms
A gas will expand to the space it is given
Liquids conform to the base of the vessel
While solids remain in the form they prefer

Look at us now
Getting physical
Feeling the chemistry
Clocked by biology

You touch that part of me, that
Liquid, filling the space given, renders solid

With friction, it shoots forth a liquid
That fills more space than given
Renders the vessel solid
Stretched beyond reason
Til a midwife cries
“Behold. Alchemy.”

Comment is about Norman Hadley (poet profile)

Original item by Norman Hadley

@winston : thanks for reading had a look at your poems too enjoyed them :)

@andy n : yeah sure was fun writing them way back in 2007 especailly the sat nav one ;)hehe

Comment is about JEFF.W (poet profile)

Original item by JEFF.W

John, I am really pleased we have found a mutual appreciation in each others work. Keep posting. see you soon. Winston

Comment is about John Darwin (poet profile)

Original item by John Darwin

I was really touched by your comments in Stockport, the way you came and sat next to me and said all those nice things about my work...it is very heart warming and I look forward to having a longer conversation next time about culture :-)

Comment is about Cate (poet profile)

Original item by Cate

Winston, Decree Ni'si is so striking I can't get it out of my head since I heard you perform it last week. Wonderful. I wish I had written it....

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Hi Winston,
many thanks for posting a comment about 'Performance', my first blog. Enjoying your work,

Sam

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Sorry I didn't make it to the Bards last night - I did try ever so hard but had a catalogue of disasters. The M58 being closed at Orrell was the final straw. Will try to make it next month. Hope you all had a good night.
Isobel x

Comment is about Steve Regan (poet profile)

Original item by Steve Regan

Whoever thought Chemistry could be so poetic, love a bit of H20 myself, essential for life!

Comment is about Norman Hadley (poet profile)

Original item by Norman Hadley

Thank-you for reading, and commenting on 'Close' - glad you enjoyed it.
Cx

Comment is about Cate (poet profile)

Original item by Cate

Hi Jeff, Liked the idea of your poem Dad. Keep writing. Winston

Comment is about JEFF.W (poet profile)

Original item by JEFF.W

sí, son amapolas Español,
muchas gracias Gus
Deb xx

Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

I remember you writing all of them, Jeff! Wasn't the tom tom wrote after it nearly drove you into a river? Good to see you on here!

Comment is about JEFF.W (poet profile)

Original item by JEFF.W

Hi Steve

glad you like 'here'

steve x

Comment is about Steve Regan (poet profile)

Original item by Steve Regan

well done your stuff is image rich but not sickly which can happen if you use too much.

Comment is about Marianne Daniels (poet profile)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Glad you liked the poem, i adore journal heart attacks, i have a great fondness for twisted writing styles. well done,
have fun,
Jordan xx

Comment is about Marianne Daniels (poet profile)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Thanks for commenting on my poem. You wonderful selection of poetry on here - so varied. I have enjoyed the read.

Comment is about Carol Falaki (poet profile)

Original item by Carol Falaki