i just made that up by the way in case you think ive lost my talent...

Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)

Original item by ray pool

no problem, its a great poem. jarvis cocker should perform it, that would be something. those sultry yorkshire tones just drip the kind of smut you wrote about. as for bukowski, its his last line trick i love so much. its easy to do;
i lay beside her
heaving and panting
she sighed forever
while outside the azaleas wept
but difficult to master (my version above proving this...)
it just transforms the mundane into something wondrous.

Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)

Original item by ray pool

Well thanks so much Stu. I just followed my imagination and peppered it with a bit of spice. I do seedy quite well!
Something about Wales seems to be give it credibility not to mention Yul Brynner of course. Great to be compared with Bukowski !

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Hi Ray,
Thanks for your feedback on 'The Wonderful Irony'-it has been brewing in my brain ever since I discovered that particular set of circumstances-and fell out of my pencil in one mad burst last night.

Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)

Original item by ray pool

Hi M.C.
Merely wanted to thank you for taking the time to read and comment on 'Dave's Last Stand'
I've just moved up to Scotland, which perhaps influenced the poem, which is, as noted in the title, Part 7 of what started out (3 years or so ago) as a single piece that developed into a trilogy, and so it goes.
None of the content is necessarily my belief, but just the way I see the Bastards at work in my world.

If you should ever be so bored, the first 6 parts of the trilogy appear in my profile

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Your knowledge of the KKK does you credit, and it is a tricky idea to put a poem to it - but it was as brief as I could make it with impact, I hope. Thanks for the reference to the film - I will check that. I did see a pretty poor documentary recently on one family in the KKK and they tried to play the whole anti black thing down!

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Hi Ray, l have read your post re Vertices lll and am considering a suitable reply. :-)

Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)

Original item by ray pool

thanks for the comments on 'a day in the life ' Martin - and, yes, it's pencilled in to add to the rants :-) - sorry for delay in replying - been in catch up mode for a month!

Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)

Original item by Martin Elder

thanks for the comments on 'a day in the life ' MC - sorry for delay in replying - been in catch up mode for a month!

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

thanks for the comments on 'a day in the life ' Aly - sorry for delay in replying - been in catch up mode for a month!

Comment is about Aly Hatcher (poet profile)

Original item by Aly Hatcher

thanks for the comments on 'a day in the life Laura' - sorry for delay in replying - been in catch up mode for a month!

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

We're all already in tune
(no I'm not being absurd!)
With our quite beautifully shared
Love of written and voiced word....

Comment is about Dorinda MacDowell (poet profile)

Original item by Dorinda MacDowell

Hi Dorinda

We shall have to find out who has the first Aid Box just in case someone does a dead boring poem and we need some smelling salts!

Glad you are o .k and we are all just glad you are in good health and can come each time!

The theme for next time is jazz so a few musical lines and we shall get in tune!

Comment is about Dorinda MacDowell (poet profile)

Original item by Dorinda MacDowell

Hi Dorinda

We shall have to find out who has the first Aid Box just in case someone does a dead boring poem and we need some smelling salts!

Glad you are o .k and we are all just glad you are in good health and can come each time!

The theme for next time is jazz so a few musical lines and we shall get in tune!

Comment is about Dorinda MacDowell (poet profile)

Original item by Dorinda MacDowell

Hiya Stu - sorry for the delay, busy weekend! Thank you so much :)

I think it's amazing that you've pulled all that out of the pieces. Isn't interpretation a wonderful thing?

It doesn't seem wrong to say 'well done' at all - you know why? Because although you may see me as an 'established poet', each new poem is in no way guaranteed to work, or be any good at all. I approach each one with nervous anticipation. I never really know if they'll be any good until I reach a certain point with them, the internal tickle that says 'oh yehhh, now that feels good'. Until that point it's still a thousand lines of shit :D

Nice one on the gig!! Get you eh - singing!

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

M.C.
A belated thank you for your encouraging words about the Paxos thing. It encouraged me to get the end of it down tonight (this is just to give you the chance to deny having anything to do with it) thanks again.

And I made it just before the football!

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Thanks for looking in on the Black Cap man Cynthia, best wishes, Steve

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Yes Stu, check it out I think you'll enjoy the rich imagination involved. Peake also did sketches that are in the original book. There was a radio version in the 1990s which had Sting playing Steerpike (the baddie).

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Thanks for your very full assessment and references MC .
It certainly fits the bill in describing your experience and to be compared with M.R. James is a compliment indeed!
I only recently watched the BBC version of Whistle and i'll come to you with John Hurt. Excellent fare.

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

i remember watching the bbc adaptation of that when i was younger but have never approached the books. this will be remedied the next time the mobile library comes (doubt they will have it but i can order them). cheers.

Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)

Original item by ray pool

Daz, I am so honoured that you went home that very night and took the time to research 'Star Songs' on WOL. On Friday, when I found your comment, my heart skipped a beat as the email threw me back six years. I know I had tears in my eyes. Thanks again for a wonderful surprise. And encouragement to keep writing.

Cynthia

Comment is about dazzer (poet profile)

Original item by dazzer

Cheers H

Comment is about Harry O`N eill (poet profile)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

Ta Katy

Comment is about Katy Megan (poet profile)

Original item by Katy Megan

I'm glad you enjoyed the Tower. It's nice when an image finds its mark in the imagination. The indented words was a fluke but i'll go there again if it works.
You might enjoy Gormenghast Trilogy by Mervyn Peake who revels in that shady past thing and the weight of the unfathomable past.

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Thanks Ray :) Your words are very encouraging. I'm happy you liked my work.

Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)

Original item by ray pool

Good Morning John,

Many thanks for the comment on "...And Along Came Jeremy". Refreshing to hear you say that you like the poem even if you don't entirely agree with the opinion expressed within.

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Hi Harry,

Thanks for your comments on "...And Along Came Jeremy"

Ledger

Comment is about Harry O`N eill (poet profile)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

Thanks for the (very heartening) comment on '...And Along Came Jeremy'. Cheers, Ledger

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

got you. its a good metaphor, especially for poets and one i should have tattooed on my mouse clicking hand! i dont think you need worry about things being to personal, the imagery and language makes you want to be inside your head, even if you have no reason why. i love the films of david lynch for this very reason. i leave each one annoyed and in wonder.

Comment is about Zach Dafoe (poet profile)

Original item by Zach Dafoe

You really are way too kind.
I like treading the line of too verbose and too vague, even if it's completely by accident. sometimes i forget that other people don't live inside my head and a lot of my writing (especially looking into last year and backward) has a lot more internal meaning that comes off jilted when someone else reads it. too much context is bad. not enough is worse.

the parable begins when a neighbor comes to visit the farmer. as he walks up the long pavestone path to the front porch, he hears this horrible yelping and howling coming from round back.
"What the hell is that raquet?!"
"My dog. He's sitting on a nail on the back porch."
"Why doesn't he just get up and move? Why doesn't he make it stop?"
The farmer thoughtfully puffed on his corncob pipe, exhaled, uncocking his head with the answer:
"It must not hurt enough yet."

a fallen mastery is knowing when to get off the nail.
I've yet to fully recognize this.

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Hello,
Nope, not heard it. Enlighten me!
I always enjoy your work, its surreal and wise, treacle thick with language and meaning. im not one for overly-wordy stuff (which probably shows in the previous sentence) as i feel it dilutes meaning, but you have a great mix. your longer pieces are like walking through twin peaks after a bomb dropped.
so, the farmers dog?

Comment is about Zach Dafoe (poet profile)

Original item by Zach Dafoe

good morning stu
thank you for reading me.
doomed loved is my speciality. I don't think I've ever had anyone break down my writing so succinctly. sometimes it's better to start with a feeling, abstract and big (impossibly vast), fuzzy and fluid, then work down into the details of a mortal word with a slight taper bridging the two.

I've been accidentally using it a lot lately. Probably a byproduct of those powerfully estranged feelings I get during karaoke hours.

Have you ever heard the metaphor of the farmers' dog?

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Thanks James, hope you weren't too psyched.
Thank you for reading :)

Comment is about James Roper (poet profile)

Original item by James Roper

Thanks for reading and commenting, Martin. I'll throw you a rubber ring!

Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)

Original item by Martin Elder

Thanks for reading and commenting, Martin. I'll throw you a rubber ring!

Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)

Original item by Martin Elder

Hello - me again! Do we have a theme for the next Stockport WOL? - if so, please could someone let me know what it is? - Thanks so much, Dorinda x

Comment is about Stockport WoL (group profile)

Original item by Stockport WoL

Ray, thank you for your encouraging comments on War of Words.

regards,

Graham

Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)

Original item by ray pool

Thanks Cynthia - very kind over generous words. I've been away awhile and this is the first poem i've finished in some months so glad you liked it.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Hello there! I really do appreciate your feedback so there's no chance of telling you where to go. I post poems here for honest and open comments, as it's not easy writing in isolation as I'm not part of any local groups. You are right about the lines and I can see it now you have pointed it out - much appreciated as always, Katy x

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thank you Martin!

Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)

Original item by Martin Elder

Stu, thanks for the comment on 'Just You'. (and for understanding being lost.)

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Cynthia, I cannot thank you enough. Not only for your comment on 'Just You' but all of your comments and suggestions. I am very new to sharing and just fully getting back into writing and it is really refreshing to have a person take an interest to the point of offering suggestions and opinions. So, thank you one more time. :)

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I was thinking about 'did' and 'does' again, as you pointed out in 'Upon the winds of change'. You have an excellent point about space-filling, like 'the' and 'an' etc. I have reworked many prior poems eschewing those very words, and achieving better poetry, I think. Some years back it was a fellow WOLer who took me seriously to task, and greatly assisted my 'work'. I really appreciated his interest and suggestions.

In the example given, I did debate their use. As well as stretching a correct metre (thank the gods) I wanted the emphasis of command inherent in the verbal mood. And the prior poets did not hesitate to use them. So - there they are. I don't think I could go through all the brain strain necessary to alter them. Many thanks for your comments.

'contracted to complain' was delightful.

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Tia here is a link to the Canterbury Tales translated into English.

english.fsu.edu/canterbury/

Comment is about Unabridge_soul (Tulika) (poet profile)

Original item by Unabridge_soul (Tulika)

Howdy Cynth :)

Ha, well I have a confession to make. Although I've been a total music anorak for almost all my life, I never really 'got' classical. It wasn't around me, I never listened to it, and the only time I did it was coming in or out of assembly in primary school.

So hearing Finlandia had a massive effect on me. Not only did it sound EXACTLY how I was feeling, it was also the first real bit of classical music I had ever liked. It's kickstarted a total obsession btw - I am listening to classical AND Finlandia itself all the time now!

Your deal sounds ace btw :D

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Cheers for the input on Blackpool. You have it in the bag there. I find it a sad place from my perspective, and had to work there for long periods. Out of season is beyond depression, especially on the long outskirts.
I'm glad you like my quirky simple stuff!

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Sure does, Nigel!

Comment is about Nigel Astell (poet profile)

Original item by Nigel Astell

Thank you Cynthia, when I read your poem "The Parting", it stirs up that same sad but lovely feeling...

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

The lady will put a sock in it! :)

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

No problemo - kick some arse! I can't believe you didn't practise ha :D You'll find it makes you much more confident. Best of luck - let me know how it went :)

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck