SANTA KRAMPUS

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(It is my ambition to write the greatest Christmas song ever. Not sure this would have made Christmas No 1 even if I had written it in time)

 

You all know Santa Claus

The saint each child adores

He brings the good ones gifts, does Pere Noel;

But I’m his kith and kin

I punish kids that sin;

I’m Krampus and I harvest souls for Hell.

 

And unlike brother Nick

Well, I bring a big stick

To beat the naughty children till they yell,

“Have mercy, Santa, please,

I’m begging on my knees

Just please don’t cart my sinful soul to Hell”.

 

I harvest naughty boys

And girls; instead of toys

I bring atonement as the tales foretell;

I’m truly not a myth

You’ll find this out forthwith

When huddled in the handcart bound for Hell.

 

So if you’ve not been good

As you all know you should

Then bid your mum and dad a last farewell,

Cos after you’ve been smacked

It’s up the chimney stack

To bubble in the burning pits of Hell.

 

You all know Santa Claus

The saint each child adores

He brings the good ones gifts, does Pere Noel;

It’s him you’ll want to see

Be good, or else it’s me;

I’m Krampus and I harvest souls for Hell.

◄ OLYMPIC PUB QUIZ TEAM

LEAVE IT IN THE GROUND ►

Comments

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John Coopey

Thu 29th Dec 2016 23:52

Actually, I love children, Harry, although I couldn't eat a whole one.

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Harry O'Neill

Thu 29th Dec 2016 21:55

You mean git John!

but well sung! (your heart must be really in it)

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John Coopey

Thu 29th Dec 2016 19:44

I hadn't considered it as a pantomime-type setting, MC. But I can see it would work.

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M.C. Newberry

Thu 29th Dec 2016 17:28

The theme has a jaunty yet sinister tone to suit the words,
a mordaunt antidote to the merriment that's often just that
bit too "forced" (for some!).
I can imagine this being performed in some pantomime...
accompanied by adult hisses and boos, with the kiddies
shrinking, eyes shut, beside their grown-up companions.

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John Coopey

Tue 27th Dec 2016 15:36

Thanks, Ray. Yes, I saw there was the programme on tonight. It will pale as art in comparison to my masterpiece.

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raypool

Tue 27th Dec 2016 12:47

Very refreshing change John. Are you knocking Sir Cliff off his perch ? Did you know there is a comedy offering tonight- Inside no. 9. featuring Krampus!
I like the jaunty guitar rendition, almost bowdlerizing the theme!
Happy new year. Ray

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