I DREAMT YOU WERE LITTLE AGAIN

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I dreamt you were little again;

We were walking through Filey in rain;

You looked so cute in

Your first romper suit;

I dreamt you were little again.

 

Your mittens were tied through your sleeves;

Your red wellies kicked through the leaves;

Your new woolly bonnet

Had fake fur upon it;

Your mittens were tied through your sleeves.

 

Were you happier then than you’re now?

I’m sure there’s more lines on my brow;

Not a care in the world -

Just a dad and his girl;

Were you happier then than you’re now?

 

I dreamt you were little again

Before you encountered your pain;

When I opened my eyes

I started to cry;

I dreamt you were little again.

◄ ROUND JOHN BURGIN

ODE TO JOHN THE HAT ►

Comments

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 13th Jan 2016 18:08

Heartfelt and greatly touching in universality. Well crafted too in great old-fashioned metre and rhyme.

IMO, the third verse could easily be omitted, giving the last stanza an eye-watering punch, leaving the 'now' aspect entirely open to reader interpretation. Just a thought. Great poem to cast off 2015.

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Harry O'Neill

Wed 30th Dec 2015 15:50


That`s not schmaltz John, that line eleven chimes too sadly upwards and downwards for it to be schmaltz.

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John Coopey

Wed 30th Dec 2015 14:04

Many thanks for your kind comments, George. It is a strange time for dads in particular as they grow older and their interests move from playing with Daft Dad to clothes and make-up and boyfriends.
I was quite pleased with the way it's got a big cog in the last verse, Harry, moving out of rinky-dinky schmaltz to a more powerful plane. It seems to work well in performance with a bit of ham acting!

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George Stanworth

Wed 30th Dec 2015 13:46

That's a beautiful poem John. I have a daughter who is 4, and I am enjoying her sense of innocence, joy and wonder of the world. I get anxious thinking about her growing up, but know that all I can do is to be there when she needs me. Great poem.

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Harry O'Neill

Wed 30th Dec 2015 12:53

John,
What a lovely poem!

I`ve just been experimenting with the Limerick form for satire, and herè`s you demonstrating what can be done with it at the tender edge of poetry...it`s something - to me at least - of a revelation.

(I like the metrically canny way you`ve apostrophised the
you`re)

Regarding the top four...watch your back! (and again, will you sell us Kane?

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John Coopey

Wed 30th Dec 2015 11:33

Their problems are a good bit easier to solve when they're kids, Graham. That's for sure!
So far, my pair haven't blessed me with grand kids but I live in hope they'll do so before too old to kick a football.
Top four? (Whisper it!)

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Graham Sherwood

Wed 30th Dec 2015 10:33

Lovely piece this one John.
I'm finding grandparenthood somewhat the same and my wife keeps telling me that their parents come first (obviously) but I still want to sort out their problems too.

Suffer the little children Eh? (and that comes from an atheist too).

Top 4 top 4 top 4!!! Believe

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John Coopey

Wed 30th Dec 2015 08:36

Many thanks for you kind comments, Ken and Patricio. My dad used to say "they break your arms when they're young and break your heart when they're older",

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John Coopey

Wed 30th Dec 2015 08:34

Thankyou, Vicki. It's a contrast to me how powerful we are as parents when they are small with how impotent we are when they grow. For instance, any problem was easy to solve when they were small (mend a broken toy etc) but we can't solve the things that make then cry when they're older.

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Patricio LG

Wed 30th Dec 2015 08:26

I do so miss them little.. Well done John

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ken eaton-dykes

Wed 30th Dec 2015 00:20

Nice one John.

My how the years hurry by, with increasing acceleration as
ones tally of time accumulates

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Vicki Ayers

Tue 29th Dec 2015 23:51

My little un is still little - but too old for kisses at the school gate! Lovely sentiment x

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