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Writing 'proper' poetry

Peppercorn eyes or was it peppermint eyes, does it matter?

Something...orginal eyes! Something blazing eyes...something dreamy and crapper.

Yes, so he tasted of morning breath and the blandness of saliva

but just write that he tasted of strawberries and hope because that sounds a lot nicer!

...Wait... stop! The ryhme is off!

Can you have more ryhme this time, less variation.

Sort the stanzas! Dub my frustration!

Add in the grammar, the punctuation and the        structure.

Oh shit, a ryhme! To forget such a thing is a tragic crime!

Add in the happiness, the crying, the frowning.

Oh bloody hell, why is it so hard for you to sound like Browning?

Call it a damn waterfall, a cascade of droplets - Not a darn bath!

You want to sound like Sylvia Plath!

Don't say you pushed them; say you ripped them, tore them.

You want to be compared to Auden!

I mean he was just your boyfriend for a week but you should resemble star-crossed lovers

so maybe a Shakespeare esq. neologism will cover.

Yes they're just roses but they're elevating your soul and lifting you to heaven!'re not dying...Yes your coming back!

Come on dear, this is abstract.

Fine, you didn't cry when you saw the sea but can't you just write that you did?

For the sake of poetry could you tell one little fib?

See, your life is a painting that my 12 month old cat could bestow...

so could we please make it seem a little more Van Gough?





◄ When I lie.

Grisly Girl ►


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Robert Mann

Sat 13th Feb 2016 17:21

Alexandra - I avoid reading the established hierarchy of dead and dying poets as I refuse to have my work influenced by unrealistic romanticism. I like your dig at accepted convention. Keep it going.

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Graham Sherwood

Thu 25th Jun 2015 10:43

When I read this it was like watching a plate spinner and a juggler at the same time. I was more nervous than the performers, but it all seemed to come good in the end. A challenging read, very avant garde, rather clever really.

well done Alexandra.

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Tommy Carroll

Thu 25th Jun 2015 00:25

morning breath y.u.k. So much so I get up an hour before rising and brush my teeth and gargle and floss and do deep thoracic exercise to freshen my breath and I am renowned for morning breath like roses. Women lineup in order that they may be allowed to sleep with me and awake to my dental charms
. Tommy

Preeti Sinha

Wed 24th Jun 2015 19:42

I love this! Hilarious! This is super :)

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