I represent our client Mr Dumpty

He had an accident you may recall

And though some might regard him as a 'numpty'

We feel the blame lies squarely with your wall.

In short to watch the Royal pageant pass through

Mad throngs had lined the streets as mad throngs do

And Mr Dumpty being short in stature

Climbed your wall to get a better view

Our client was left with multiple abrasions

On top of that whiplash, of course, and stress

The King's men (and their horses) couldn't save him

But luckily we have the NHS

As he got to theatre he was raving

He lost a lot of albumen, you know

His exoskeleton like crazy paving

The surgeons said that it was touch and go

The wall was checked by our top engineer

His findings you will see in his report

Poor workmanship and maintenance that’s clear

All points that surely would stand up in court

It clearly notes the weakness of the mortar

Suggesting possibly a lack of lime

Or inconsistent mixing of the water

A wonder how it's stayed up till this time

Unfortunately this is now our culture

Substantial compensation is our aim

By every ambulance you'll find a vulture

For where there's blame there's usually a claim

So to the root of this communication

Let’s try to focus on the job in hand

The simple matter of your implication

The compy - shall we call it twenty grand?